


Sleepless Nights

by Batheir



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Basically the team are assholes, Captured, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Emotional Manipulation, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Happy Ending, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Kidnapped, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Serious Injuries, So much angst guys i'm so sorry, Soul Bond, Stockholm Syndrome, Will add tags as I go, lotor is a jerk, taken hostage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 86,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batheir/pseuds/Batheir
Summary: Lance isn't good enough. That's what the team thinks- that's what the team says. He isn't really apart of the team, just a stupid kid from Cuba who got dragged along for the ride. He doesn't feel like he's doing enough, doesn't feel worthy enough. So you know what he does? Finds a way to make him worthy.





	1. A Harsh Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my very first fanfiction, both on this site, and for Voltron. I really hope you enjoy it! Also, just a note, I should probably say that some characters will probably be a bit ooc, just because I needed them to be to make the story work, lol. Thanks!

“What the fuck Lance?” Pidge’s voice was sharp, annoyed, as she hoisted herself up from being slammed to the ground by one of the bots. It had been Lance’s fault- he was supposed to be watching her back, a part of the team exercise.

 “Sorry, sorry!” Lance called back, currently preoccupied as one gained on him; he held up his sword to awkwardly block the attack. Lance had never been great at head on exercises- using the gun was the only thing that he was mildly okay at, but Allura had banned him from using it as it didn’t really count as “close range” fighting. Had told him to be more like Keith in the sense of being able to down the bots like there were nothing. Well, they were something! They were fucking hard to beat without his gun! The bot quickly overthrew Lance in both size and strength, sending him barreling back into Pidge, who had just started to get her bearings back. Muffled grunts of pain came from both of them, another angry screech from Pidge.

 “Stop! End training sequence!” Another girl’s voice rang throughout the air- Allura. She bore a frustrated and annoyed look on her face, watching the two of them through slitted eyes. The bots vanished around them, and Lance hastily detangled himself from Pidge, shakily standing himself up. The fall had knocked the wind out of him, and had twisted his knee in a weird way. It twinged, but he was able to stand, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

 “Both of you! Stop! This obviously isn’t working- you have to work as a _team,”_ Allura chided, a bit of an edge to her voice. With Zarkon right on their heels, and an attack imminent at every moment, everyone’s nerves were beginning to become frayed, the Princess most of all.

 “It would work if Lance knew how to actually swing a sword! It’s not that hard!” Pidge stood there, her cheeks puffed out, red with exertion.

 “Hey, I’m just not used to it yet! I’m the only one here who actually uses their gun!” Lance pointed out indignantly.

 “What about Hunk- he uses his gun!”

 “Save for Hunk, but he’s bigger than me! It doesn’t take him much to just smash their heads in, but news flash- I’m not built like him!”

 “Yeah, well, get your shit together, Lance!” Pidge yelled, her voice getting higher with each passing word. “You’re going to get us killed out there- you’re nothing but a dead weight on us right now, you’re always doing stupid stuff and not actually trying, and, and I’m sick of it!”

 With that, Pidge stormed away, taking her Bayard with her. Lance watched her go, anger bubbling up inside of him, but not only that, pain, too. It was like somebody had taken a knife and rammed it into him. He _did_ try, Lance tried a lot actually, and all the stupid jokes he made were always in the hope to lift the team’s spirit. He hadn’t _meant_ to mess up- it just happened! Lance let out a huff, folding his arms. Pidge couldn’t really mean that, right? She was just stressed. No, Lance wasn’t a dead weight. His team _needed_ him- he was a Paladin of the blue lion!

 “You know, Pidge has a point.”  Allura’s voice chimed behind him. Lance turned, facing her- he felt like his heart had dropped into his stomach.

 “What do you mean?” He asked, his voice almost in a whisper. “Pidge is just saying that stuff because she’s frustrated, and worried, like the rest of us.”

 “I hate to say this Lance, but you’re dragging this team down. You can’t fight like the rest of them right now, and you’ve done some questionable things while flying with them…”

 “...”

 “I just don’t want to see the others hurt, Lance…”

 “The others, hurt.”

 “O-Or you! I don’t want to see you hurt, either!” It sounded more like an afterthought than something that Allura really felt.

 Lance could feel a cold sensation running through his body, making his arms and legs feel numb.  “Yeah… yeah I understand.” He swallowed hard. “Can’t have me fucking it up for the rest of you guys.”

 Allura managed a small smile. “Exactly.”  She seemed to think that Lance and her were on the same page. “You just have to try a bit harder, that’s all.”

 He just had to try harder.  He was just being lazy.

 Looking towards the ground, he nodded, at the sword that he bore, and his hands. His knee hurt, but he wouldn’t say anything about that right now- it would go away on it’s own.

 The silence between the two dragged on- things were starting to get awkward. “Well, I’ll… be off then.” The princess said, giving him a small, yet strained smile. Lance waited until Allura was fully out of earshot before he swore, frustrated, angry at himself.

He wasn’t apart of this team! He was only dragging it down- everybody thought he was just a fifth wheel, seventh, if you counted Allura and Coran! No… he was just some stupid boy from Cuba who had been dragged along for the ride. If he _really_ wanted to be apart of the team, he’d have to get better. Train harder, harder than the rest of them. Lance had to do this himself- he couldn’t afford to drag everyone else down by asking for help.

 Lance wasn’t dragged out of his thoughts until Keith walked into the training room, his arms folded and the ever so piercing glare on his face. “Lance.”

 Jumping a bit, Lance looked up to him, almost flinching as Keith continued to glare at him. Did he really hate Lance this much? “Y-yes?” His voice sounded different than it had been before.

 “Shiro wants you down for dinner, hurry up, you’re holding everyone up.”

 “O-Okay.”

 Lance put away the spare sword and hurried after Keith, entering the kitchen. Everybody seemed to stop talking when they walked in- Pidge still looked pissed off, and the overall vibe of the room was tense. Sitting down uncertainly next to Hunk, Lance tried to keep his mind focused on the plate in front of him, but despite the goo’s appetizing look, Lance didn’t really feel like eating. More like, he didn’t feel like he _could_ eat. He sat there, silenced, his fork barely lifted.

 “Oh my god Lance, first you can’t even defeat a stupid bot, but now you’re refusing to eat Hunk’s food?” It was Pidge- her voice was still snappish and unruly. “God, get some respect! You know there would be some people dying to have what you’ve got right no-”

 “Pidge! Stop it- don’t take out all your anger on him.” Shiro spoke up, firm, and commanding. “That’s not how a team acts.”

 “Pft, yeah, like Lance is really part of our team.”

 Ouch. Lance could feel that one pierce right through his heart. That was really how the team felt, huh? He couldn’t eat now. Getting up wordlessly, Lance left the room, Hunk’s and Shiro’s call’s following after him.

 “Wait Lance- Pidge didn’t really mean that!”

 “Come back- come and eat, we’re all just stressed right now!”

 But Lance didn’t stop. He kept going, heading straight for his room, the door sliding shut behind him. He collapsed on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. He wished it had the little glowy stars like his room back home did. The ones that would light up in the dark, but, unfortunately, the castle didn’t have anything like that. Didn’t have any little novelties that reminded him of home.

 Lance layed there for a long time. He ignored the knocks at his door, pretending to be asleep so nobody would bother him, waited as the time went by until the castle’s night mode shifted on, and everything went still.

 Then, he finally got up. He changed into something more loose than his paladin undersuit, a uniform that his room had come with. It consisted of a baggy blue tunic-like shirt and some tighter legging-like pants underneath. Lance found that he could move well in them, so he didn’t bother worrying about the look- nobody would see him anyways.

 Quietly, he left his room, only a small flashlight attached to his shirt’s collar to light the way. He had his bayard with him. It took him a bit to find the training hall, but he made it alright. Lance figured he’d get used to it. The lights turned on as he entered, and for once, the training room didn’t look as looming. Maybe it had something to do with being alone- nobody to judge or yell at him when he messed up. Lance would figure this out on his own. He’d become better at fighting.

 But, he knew he couldn’t do that using a sword. It was no use- he could not, for the life of him, handle a sword. Allura’s words or not, he’d fight close battles with his gun, he’d even use his hands if he’d have to.

 Lance activated his bayard.

 “Begin Training Sequence number one.”

* * *

 

 The first couple of weeks had been shaky. Lance struggled to handle his gun properly, used to being able to shoot from a distance, but he didn’t have that luxury here. Instead, he got used to close range shots, and using his gun as a weapon in itself,  sometimes hitting or bludgeoning the bots with it. But with time, he found himself growing smoother and smoother with his actions, more graceful, quicker.

 Changes had occurred on his gun as well- it seemed as though it adapted with Lance’s fighting style. A sharp blade ran across the top of it, so when Lance used it to slash the enemies, more damage would be dealt. He was beginning to feel a little bit better about how things were going, with his training- he had reached level five now. But it wasn’t perfect. _He_ wasn’t perfect, no, Lance had to be better if he wasn’t going to drag the team down. He had to push harder, for longer, train more into the night if he wanted to succeed.

 The amount of sleep that Lance was getting had been reduced vastly- he only got about an hour or two every night  before getting yelled at for being late for breakfast. It was a regular occurrence now, and it was starting to anger the other paladins.

 “Why is he always late?” Keith’s loud whisper could be heard, as he leaned in to talk to the other paladins around him.

 Lance, at the edge of the table heard every word, flinching a bit, but not taking it to heart. He was still happy from last night- he had finally cleared the last bit of level five, and had upgraded to level six. From the description of it, it began evasive maneuvering and defense training. He was excited to try it. The only thing that held him down was his knee- it was starting to hurt more and more these days, but Lance figured it was just because he was going hard at his training. Once he was high enough in the levels, he’d take a break and it would be fine.

 The day seemed to drag on- Lance was counting the minutes until the lights went out, and everybody went to bed. Nobody seemed to really talk with him anymore. Not even Hunk, but well, he had been really busy with Pidge trying to build some new attachment for the lions, so Lance couldn’t really blame him. It did kind of suck that he didn’t say good morning to him anymore, but maybe Lance had just missed it because he was late! Even though he tried his hardest to wake up on time- he set his alarms to the highest setting, he always found himself sleeping through it until someone came to pound on his doors. Oh well...  he’d just have to deal with it.

 Shiro was always with Allura, and Lance never really wanted to interrupt them- especially after Shiro had told Lance off for flirting with her so much… even though he hadn’t done that for weeks, but… Shiro was just having a hard time! He didn’t need Lance in there, giving him advice on how to work the lions- he was probably wrong anyways.

 Pidge was always pre-occupied, but that was to be expected, and Keith was… well, Keith. They hadn’t talked much in the first place. As much as Lance would like to.

 Lance supposed Coran talked to him. They had chats every once in awhile- he didn’t really yell at Lance, so that was nice. But that was really the extent to it.

 He couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely. The fact that he wasn’t _really_ apart of the team had settled into Lance- he knew it in his heart, but it was the thing that drove him forward so hard to train at night. He’d become a part of the team if he was better. Always if he was better- if he reached more levels than everybody else, if he bonded with his lion. Everybody would like him once he was the perfect paladin. Even Keith. _Especially Keith._

 

* * *

 

 The lights turned off and Lance threw himself forward, off of his bed. Quickly he changed into his uniform- he had grown to like it, it was like his specific thing that he only wore when training. Somehow it made him feel more comfortable. Grabbing his bayard, the flashlight and his water bottle, he stuck out to the training deck.

 God, doing the evasive maneuvers had to be one of the best things Lance had done on this ship. It was like a dance. A dance, that twisted and turned, jumped and slid, to evade the lasers shot at him. He loved it. For the first time, he found himself laughing, singing.

 And when he merged the skills he had learned with the evasive maneuvering courses, Lance found the same grace, elegance, preciseness while slashing, shooting, and killing the bots.

 He rose four levels that night. Lance was on level ten now, and still going strong.

 His bayard clashed against the sword that the bot had, before drawing pack, gathering himself up for another attack. This bot was one Lance hadn’t fought before- he assumed it was like some sort of boss, like the ones you see in video games. It made sense, him being level 10 and all- beat the boss before heading up to the next tier. It was much larger than all the other ones he had killed- stronger, too. Lance knew he would have to muster everything he had to defeat it, but he wouldn’t let himself grow discouraged- this was his shot. He had to go further. Out in the real world, there wasn’t any mercy.  

 So he fought. He twisted, he turned, he shot, he slashed. Blow after blow, Lance pushed forward, ducking, jumping back, evading the bot’s attacks. It had hit him a few times- he could feel the bruises blossoming on his sides and stomach. Nothing Lance wasn’t used to- the learning curve had had went through to get to this level had gotten him good a few times, though nothing like this. Well, at least they weren’t on his face or anything.

 Sweat beaded on Lance’s forehead, and he could feel his breaths grow more ragged. The ache in his knee had come back. Boy, was this monster a good boss! But Lance could see that it was close- the bot was becoming slower in its movements, and he could see it glitch out every couple seconds.

 With one final push of effort Lance brought his gun down, ripping up it’s front before facing it directly against its chest and pulling the trigger.

 The bot exploded. Right up in Lance’s face- it was designed to disappear into light, so nobody would be hurt or anything, but the sound and rush of hot air had startled him and Lance fell back, awkwardly twisting and landing on his knee.

 " _Agh!”_ His scream filled the air.

 Holy shit. Holy shit. His knee _hurt_. It was like it had snapped in half.

 “Fuck,” Lance breathed, pulling it out from underneath him. “Fuckkkkk,” it was like his knee had caught on fire- when he looked down at it, he almost fainted. His knee… was not where a knee should be. It looked like it had shifted, and it was already swollen. Biting his lip, Lance already knew what had happened- his knee had dislocated with the fall.

 Lance leaned back down against the padding of the training deck, feeling the cool material against his cheek. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, and he tried to blink them away.

 “Heh, what a baby you are Lance- it’s… it’s only a little knee injury. P-People dislocate them all the time, and they’re.. They’re fine. You’re fine. Just gotta… put it back into place, that’s all!”

 Lance sucked in a breath, sitting back up. He looked down at it again, and bit his lip. He knew how to put knees back in- he had done it back in the garrison for a kid who had fallen out of one of the simulators. It was easy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

 So why was he so nervous? The pain.. He could handle pain- he had to, he was a paladin! Pain was his middle name! His hands shakily went down to his leg, positioning themselves so all it would take was a strong tug to put it back into place.

 “Okay Lance… don’t scream like that last kid- you’re stronger than that. Don’t want to… wake the guys.. Okay… one… two… three!”

 He screamed. It was muffled into his shirt, but he screamed- the pain shot up through his leg, all the way down to his bones. It rattled him, and left him panting and sweating afterwards. At least, now, things felt better. He could move it a little- that was good.

 Minutes had gone by. The little popup saying ‘Congratulations! You have passed level 10 and it’s trial! Would you like to proceed to level 11?” Still stood blinking at him. Idly, Lance looked up at it, smiling a little bit. He had done it- he had passed level 10! He knew that both Shiro and Keith were still stuck on level 8, so progressive wise,  Lance knew that he was doing well. But, he could go farther. Much, much farther- but not tonight. No, tonight he deserved a break- he _needed a break._ Lifting his finger, he pressed the “no” option.

 Lance hobbled back to his room, using one of the swords to help him as a sort of cane. He almost collapsed onto his bed, gritting his teeth- but he knew better than that. He needed to put some sort of cooling patch of his knee so it wouldn’t be swollen tomorrow. Digging around the cabinets in his room, Lance kept swearing under his breath, until he finally found the first aid kit. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Lance took off his pants, leaving him in just his boxers.

 Ouch. _Gross._ His knee looked weirdly disfigured- probably from the swelling. Letting out a low whistle, he rummaged through the kit, looking for some sort of cooling patch- Lance couldn’t read anything, because it was in Altean, but he did find a package that was blue, and looked like it had some sort of symbol that indicated cooling. Tearing off the protective layer, Lance was a little disappointed to find that it wasn’t cool, but he did see some kind of button on there- maybe it had to be activated? Wrapping it around his knee and securing it with a few pins, Lance pressed the button and immediately he felt a rush of coolness pressed against it.

 It felt so good against his hot skin! Sighing, he wrapped more bandages around his knee, keeping them tight so they would act as a bit of a makeshift brace. Maybe he’d ask Coran for one tomorrow- the man didn’t exactly ask much questions, and he was sure that with a brace on he’d be able to go back to training. Closing the kit and putting it beside his bed, Lance leaned back against his pillows, shimmying under the covers. His eyelid felt heavy, and for once it felt as though his lack of sleep was catching up on him. Slowly, they closed and he drifted off into a much needed sleep.

 

* * *

 

 For once, Lance was on time for breakfast. Nobody had to wake him, and he had sat down quietly. He had tried to hide the limp that he had- his knee was still swollen, and hurt like hell, but it still seemed pretty obvious. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice. Despite the pain, Lance felt more refreshed than before, a bit more of the drive to just go, go go- he wanted desperately to train, but… he doubted he’d get past even level one with his leg like this.

 Idly eating his breakfast, Lance was still pleased to see that nobody seemed to be annoyed with him, for once. They kind of just ignored him, except for Hunk, who had said good morning! Shiro was busy reading over some document, and Hunk was still cooking, but nobody seemed to be rolling their eyes at him, or making snide comments about how he was late. It was nice, really.

 “Hey… Coran, can I ask you for a favour?” The kitchen was cleared out now- breakfast finished. Just Lance and Coran were the only ones left.

“Hm? Yes, Lance- what do you need?” The Altean responded, twirling his finger around his mustache, as he read a document at the counter.

 Lance nervously wrung out his hands, looking down at the floor. “Well, ah… I kind of hurt my knee yesterday and it’s really swollen and stuff, so I was wondering if you had a brace or anything to keep it still while it heals?”

 Coran perked up at the mention of an injury, putting his tablet down and turning to face Lance. “Well, let’s see it, c’mon, they don’t call me ‘Coran the healer’ for nothing!”

 A bit taken back, Lance stepped forward, pulling up a chair, and beginning to roll up his pant leg. He showed his knee to Coran, unravelling the bandages he had put over it, wincing as the older man poked and prodded at it.

 “Hmmm, I don’t think a simple brace is going to cut it… we need to have our Paladins in tip-top shape, and these type of things… dislocations, take a good amount of time to fully heal. Off to the pod!”

 “Wait what- Coran, I don’t need a pod, I was just hoping for a brace!” Lance protested, quickly wrapping his knee up again, and shoving his pant leg down.

 “Nonsense my boy- it’ll only take a varga or two, not to worry!” Coran hoisted Lance up, giving him a pat on the back. “Can you walk?” Lance nodded. “Alright, let’s get going!”

 The two started to walk down the hallways, taking the path to the medical bay.

 “Where are you and Lance going?” A voice sounded behind them, both men turning around to see who it was.

 Allura stood tall, her arms crossed. “You’re not going to the pods are you? We can’t waste their power- you know that Coran.”

 “Princess, Lance is hurt.”

 “Where? I don’t see any injuries.” She sounded annoyed, and the expression on her face was alike to what you’d expect when somebody got gum on the bottom of their shoe.

 “His knee- I believe he dislocated it, a very painful injury indeed.”

 “Won’t it heal on it’s own?”

 “Yes, but it won’t for quite a few quintents.” Coran’s  was calm, collected, while Lance looked anxious, his mouth turning down into a small frown.

 “Hmph! Whatever. Just tell Lance to stop getting hurt because the pods are for real injuries. Ones that happen while actually working.” With that, the Princess turned haughtily on her heel, bushy white hair bouncing with each of her steps.

 Lance looked away, chewing on his lip nervously. Allura was right- they were using up precious energy doing this. He opened his mouth to protest going any further, but Coran shushed him, sweeping him under his arm.

 “It’s just the stress talking,” Coran soothed, “plus _I’m_ the one in charge of the pods, and I deem you worthy young paladin. But, still be careful next time!”

 Feeling a little better, though still a little guilty, Lance nodded.

 His time in the cryopod was peaceful. Simply put in a deep sleep and left there, to heal. When he got out, nobody was there to greet him, which was to be expected, because he didn’t think anybody except Allura and Coran knew about his quick little trip. It was okay though- Lance felt a lot better now, and his leg was fully healed. But, he still didn’t feel like he deserved it. Like Allura had said, things like this spent the castle’s precious energy.

 Maybe if something like this happened again, he just wouldn’t bring anything up.

 Training had gone well. Extremely well- Lace felt quicker than before, and while the levels were getting harder, he was adapting quicker and quicker. More bots were being thrown at him, but he was getting swifter, more nimble- Lance found himself learning their weaknesses, the best places to shoot, or slash

 Level 14.

 He stopped there for the night, feeling the sweat drip down his back, and dripping from his nose. Not as many levels as last night, but it was still good progress. It wasn’t good to predict the amount he’d raise each night because every level was different, testing and training different things. He knew that some might take longer than others, but despite that Lance still felt the ache in his body to go harder, faster, complete more.

Lance swung his towel around his neck, feeling the satisfying ache throughout his body. It was late- he’d probably only get one or two hours of sleep, but that was fine. All that mattered was his training.

 The only thing that could be heard down the halls was Lance’s footsteps as he headed towards his room, that is, until another pair joined him. He was taken back when Keith emerged out in front of him, his black hair as unruly as ever.

 “Oh… hey K-Keith,”  Lance coughed, avoiding eye contact. “Whatcha’ doing up so late? Don’t you have… training or stuff in the morning?”

 Keith continued to stare at him for a few more seconds, the silence between them awkward and drawn out.

 “...Why are you so sweaty?’ His voice was low, a little gruff. It felt a little more like an accusation than a question in Lance’s mind.

 “Oh… uh, I was using the castle’s sauna,” Lance lied, hoping to cover his ass.  “It good for the skin; I have to keep this perfection up and running, don’t I?” He tried to shoot Keith one of his dazzling Lance smiles, but the look on the other boy’s face seemed to shoot it down.

 “You’ve been different lately.”

 “Haven’t we all? Being in space kinda does that. Listen Keith, I’m tired, and I don’t want to be questioned all night for going to the fucking sauna, so I’m just going to go.” Pushing past, Lance’s shoulder hit Keiths, shoving him over, but he didn’t look back. Even despite the burning hole he was feeling against his back.

 

* * *

 

 Same shit, different day.  That’s what Lance felt about his daily routine before training. Get up, late for breakfast-people had given up on waking him up now, so a lot of the time, he missed breakfast entirely. Sometimes Hunk remembered to leave him a plate, but recently, he seemed to have forgotten.

 Well, at least Lance was learning how to work the goo machine, but he was having a rough time; It seemed as though there was something he was allergic to in one of the goos recently added for Thursday and Monday meals, so those days he couldn’t eat _at all_ without throwing up 30 minutes later, and developing a weird rash on his skin that wouldn’t go away for a couple days. When he had tried to talk to Hunk about it, he had been scolded for being too picky with his food, before any mention of allergies could even leave his mouth.

 It had been easier just to walk away and deal with not eating on Mondays and Thursdays than try to argue with Hunk about it. Hunk was his best friend, so he definitely didn’t want to anger him!

 The one thing that was really starting to pick at Lance though, despite how hard he tried with everything else, was how people seemed to stop talking or leave when he left the room. It had started earlier that week, when Lance had walked into the kitchen for dinner, and all the chatter that everyone was making when he was outside the door had ceased as soon as he crossed the line. Silence,  except for a few cleared throats and subtle glances.

 Then, it was when he had walked into the common room to watch a movie with everyone else- Pidge had been the first one to get up and leave, giving an excuse about having to do something on her computer, then it was Allura, talking about how she needed to check over some things on the ship- Shiro had followed her. Hunk decided to join Pidge. Only Keith and Coran were left- Keith on the couch, and Coran trying to work the TV.  

 Something about it, something about how everybody had left as soon as he walked in, intentional or not, hit hard in Lance. Harder than anything had ever hit before. How could these people hate him so much? They were his teammates- his comrades, his _friends!_ And yet, it seemed as though none of them wanted to be within a ten foot proximity of him.

 Lance let out a strangled sob, attracting Keith’s attention, before turning on his heel and striding away, tears beginning to freely flow down on his face.

 The raven haired boy’s face could only be described as one both surprised, confused, and concerned all at the same time.

 It was time for Lance to train. His body told him to train- it ached to train, but Lance couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t bring himself to lift up his body and walk down into the training deck. His stomach gurgled- it was Monday, or, it _had_ been a Monday, so he had nothing to eat that day, other than a space protein bar that Coran had handed out to all of the Paladins.

 He could tell that he had been losing weight- the extra bagginess in his clothes had alluded to the fact, on top of what he could see was missing in the mirrors. His muscles were still there- still taught against his body, gleaming, but Lance could tell that he didn’t have very much, if any fat left on him at all. Maybe that was a good thing, or maybe it was bad- he couldn’t tell. Not when his mind was a mess, and he was sitting watching the stars wrapped in a blanket and his jacket that didn’t smell like home anymore.

 Home. That was what Lance missed out of this the most. He missed his Mamá, her voice, her cooking, her hugs…he missed the way she would scold him for the little things, stern, but still endearing. He missed his Mamá, his Papá, his siblings, his family. These things ached at him, all the way down to his core. Lance couldn’t help but think that they thought he was dead. They probably held a funeral for him- a closed casket, because nobody could find his body. His Mamá probably cried a lot, while his youngest siblings probably still lit the incense for him every night. He hoped they still looked at the moon. He hoped that they still were functioning- not taken over by grief, could still smile and think of him with fond memories. He hoped they weren’t as broken as he was.

* * *

 

 Something inside of Lance seemed to change. Deep down he was still raw, sensitive, but his exterior seemed to harden off, covered by an icy wall. He went through the days on the ship getting ready with everyone else, working with everybody else, going on small missions with everybody else, but they all seemed numb.

 While still quick and as sharp as ever while piloting his Lion- perhaps even more so, afterwards he didn’t talk about it like he used too, didn’t have any more of his vocal enthusiasm. Any close contact battles he had with the galra soldiers he excelled at, mostly alone, as his team seemed to leave him behind a lot. It seemed as though they didn’t really care if he was in trouble or not, or where he was in the action.

 Well, perhaps all but Keith. Strangely enough, _he_ was the only one who asked if Lance needed help, or where he was. _He_ was the only one who had asked if Lance was okay when he emerged from his Lion bleeding from a gash on his forehead, and with a broken nose. _He_ was the only one who gasped slightly at the look of him, before quickly striding out to get Coran for medical assistance.

 To be honest, it confused Lance.

 Recently, Lance felt as though someone was watching him as he trained. It was if he could feel the eyes on him, watching his every move as he twisted and turned his way through each level, using his gun more and more proficiently. Sometimes it made his spine shiver, and he swore there was a cryptid on board, but others he just ignored it to focus on his work.

 He was pushing himself harder than before, now that they had a big mission coming up. They were going to board an actual Galra spaceship- one high up in the ranks, too.  It had set a new fire in him, and Lance found himself clearing levels faster than before.  This could be his chance to prove himself to the others! Maybe if he did really well, they would start talking to him again, maybe… he would really become a part of the team. A crucial one.

 The plan that Shiro had gone over with everybody was pretty simple- everybody would go in- Lance, Pidge and Hunk as one group, Shiro and Keith as the other. They were to try to get Pidge to the center of the ship unscathed, so that she could infiltrate their command center and steal files that would hopefully allow her to work her weird technology magic to get information and numbers from. Shiro and Keith would stay behind, Pidge, Hunk and Lance, to watch their backs and report any movement.

Laying in his bed, Lance was finally allowing himself a break, and a good night’s rest before the big day. This was something he absolutely couldn’t be late for, and training or not, he needed to be in the best shape for it. For the mission. For the team. He almost felt like a kid the night before a field trip, all squirmy and excited to see new things. There was something about it, being able to have the chance to show off to the team, maybe show his new skills, that was so exciting. Maybe one they succeeded, they’d all watch a movie together, or spend dinner talking amongst themselves.

 For once, he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

 “Copy that, Shiro, I have the scans of this place sent to your helmet.” Pidge put away her scanning device, her small form seeming miniscule against the tall, looming hallways of the Galra ship. Lance watched as she stilled again, listening to more information that came into her headset. This time, it hit Lance’s too.

 Allura’s voice came in through the headset. “Okay, Paladins, I have the scans of the ship- it’s time to start. Coran and I will watch from the ship, and try to detect any enemies that you might run into. Remember, Keith and Shiro are supposed to be our main fighters today, so Hunk, Pidge… Lance, try not to be seen, or to engage contact. Your only mission is to get to the command center.”

 Lance nodded, swallowing his spit. He was a little more nervous now, than he had been back on the castle, but he couldn’t back down now. They needed those files to help them defeat Zarkon. A range of ‘copy that’s’ came from the other Paladins, and Lance hastily replied after them, determined to be a part of the team.

 They began to move out, Keith and Shiro trailing behind them, out of sight, while Lance, Pidge and Hunk moved forward, silently. Lance felt his heart pound with excitement, his grip on his gun growing tighter and tighter. Pidge seemed to know the way- following the map she had set. Surprisingly enough, there seemed to be no Galra whatsoever. None in sight, nor on Allura’s radars. It was strange- really strange to Lance. There had to be at least some patrolling the halls? No, something wasn’t right. Lance knew it.

 “Hey guys…” he started, slowly.

 “What is it Lance?” Pidge asked, her voice curt and a little tight. It had been like that when she spoke to him for a long time now.

 “I think something’s wrong- we’re not running into any Galra here, and nothing on Allura’s radar… I think It’s gotta be a trap, or something.” Lance’s voice was hesitant. “Maybe we should stop to see what’s going on.”

 Pidge huffed, not even slowing down. “No. It’s not a trap, there’s nothing wrong- we’re almost there Lance, and then we can get right out. We’re not stopping.”

 “Bu-”

 “Stop thinking! You’re not good at that!”

 Lance withdrew a little, as if her words had burned him. He shot a glance towards Hunk, who only shrugged.

 “She’s right, dude. Let’s just get this over with.”

 “O-Okay.”

 The central command was getting close- Lance could see it down the hallway, after they had made a few turns. There still weren’t any Galra, or guards, which made him feel hesitant, but Lance didn’t vocalize anything about it. Following Pidge’s orders would probably be best, anyways.

 They ran up to the controls. There seemed to be so many of them- all faintly lit in purple, and in a language he couldn’t understand. Galran, most likely.

 “Keith, Shiro, we’ve arrived at the controls. Hold your ground to watch our backs while I do this.” Pidge talked into her headset, whilst typing furiously on the screens in front of her, seemingly unlocking the codes.

 “Copy that, Pidge, just keep doing what you’re doing.”

 Hunk and Lance took defensive positions, watching the door that they came through, keeping their guns trained. All seemed quiet, except for the drumming of Pidge’s fingers, and each other's breaths. It seemed too quiet- too still. Shouldn’t the Galra have known they were there by know? Or at least, shouldn’t they have seen some on the radar? These thoughts kept going through Lance’s head as Pidge worked. He was on edge.

 Pidge’s clicking went on for a few more minutes before-

  _Bam!_

 An explosion erupted, opposite side of the door they came through, a seemingly hidden floor forming into view. Lance tensed, shouting a word of warning before training his gun on the dust and debris that was settling. His eyes widened when he saw what was coming.

 Drones. So many of the Galra drones that they had fought before- the most Lance had ever taken on on his own was 4. There was definitely more than 4.

 “Pidddggeee, we gotta go!” Hunk’s voice was panicked, as he started to shoot, hitting a few, only to have them replaced by more.

 “Shiro, Keith, we need back up!”

 “Pidge! We- We’re held up here, they appeared out of nowhere- get out of there!” Shiro’s voice was breaking up over the headset.

 “I’m so close! I almost have this!” Pidge typed furiously, her brow beading with sweat.

 Lance shot. He shot, and shot, and shot, never missing his targets. But they just kept coming, kept swarming in. Him and Hunk were able to keep them at bay for a little bit, but now… there was just too much for them to handle.

 “Pidge we have to get out of-”

 “I have it!” Pidge’s voice was loud, squeaky, overwhelmed. “I have it- let-let’s go!”

 Lance looked at her, then at Hunk, who was still shooting, then at the hoard. They would never make it out of there in time if both he and Hunk stopped shooting- the swarm would take over all of them.

 “Go! You two! I’ll hold them off so you two can get out of here! I’ll meet up with you guys with our Lions!” Lance continued to shoot, his concentration wavering. “Go!”

 Hunk stopped. He gave Pidge a look, and then Lance one, before taking her hand and running- running faster than they ever had before.

 Lance could hear them shouting over the telecom, shouting at Keith, Shiro, labored breaths as everybody ran. He took a deep breath, continuing to shoot. Slowly, he brought his hand up to turn the telecom off. Lance was going to die. There was no doubt about it- he couldn’t get away from what was coming up in front of him. But his team didn’t need to hear him.

 They reached him. Surrounded him, but he gave them everything he had. He slashed, shot, danced. He danced one last time, before a blow to his leg sent him sprawling across the floor. The bots seemed to be confused as to where the boy had suddenly gone.

 This was it. Lance knew this was it- he just had one last thing he wanted to do. Laying there, Lance closed his eyes, bringing his finger back up to his headset to turn it on one last time to say goodbye.

 “Lance, Lance where the fuck are you? Stop showing off and get down to the Lions, we need to get out of here? Lance- Lance, what the fuck?!”

 He laughed. He couldn’t even tell who  was talking.

 The drones had spotted him, their AI back on track.  

 “So long guys, it was nice knowing you.”

 A shot went against the side of his helmet, melting through it, reaching the side of his head. Lance screamed, feeling and smelling the burning of his own flesh. Another reached the side of his arm, and he screamed again. Faintly, he could hear his teammate’s voices through the headset, broken and frazzled- the shot had damaged it.

 “Lance- oh my god, Lan-” It shut off. Powered down- his whole helmet did.

 All he could do was bite his lip to keep from screaming and watch as the drones surrounded him. He waited for death as they brought up their guns, powering them for the final kill. They grew hotter and hotter before-

 “Stop. Don’t kill him.”


	2. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor has been introduced. 
> 
> -A warning for some graphic scenes of torture.

Lance woke up in a pool of his own vomit and blood. It smelled rancid and burned in his nose, making him gag and wrench as he sat up, his whole body feeling sticky and hot. When he looked down at himself, he noticed that he was no longer wearing his paladin suit- instead he wore what looked like rags almost. They smelled, and were itchy against his skin.

 Scrunching up his nose, Lance looked around where he was, still a little bit dazed and confused. It looked like he was in a cell- a dark, concrete room, complete with a drain and a single tap for water. There were no windows, and the light fixture was faulty, leaving hardly any light shining. Lance could feel his stomach tighten up- this wasn’t where he was supposed to be!

He was supposed to be back on the ship, with his teammates, watching a movie with them because the mission had been a success. Wait… everything was coming back to him- the flashes of the fight, him laying on the ground, saying his final goodbyes. He was supposed to have died then, for his team. That was supposed to be his final act, his final push. The thing that made him valuable.

 Well, at least they had gotten away. They had the files too- that was something. But… Lance kind of wished he had died, because now he was stuck here, god knows where, and he was 99 percent sure he was going to suffer. That’s always what happened when somebody got captured- right?

Lance sat there in silence for a few more minutes, relieving events, gathering his thoughts. He eventually moved to look at his injuries, the ones that he could feel. There was the one on his leg; when he pulled his pants down a little he could see it across his thigh, the burned, cauterized flesh almost making him throw up. But, he supposed he was lucky the wound had gotten so hot it closed itself- bleeding to death might have been worse. Oh wait. No, he wanted to die, so scratch that, he was pissed.

The one on his arm was a little better; he could tell that is wasn’t so deep. But the most irritable, as far as Lance could sense, was the one on the side of his head. The laser had been shot so hot that it had ripped through his helmet, melting it onto his own flesh. He hoped that there still weren’t any pieces or anything left in it, because first of all, it would look ugly, and second, that was kind of gross.

It was only until realizing for a second time that he was currently sitting in his own blood (where the fuck did that come from??)  and vomit, that Lance shakily got to his feet, moving out of his with curses flying out from under his breath. His leg twinged and his stomach flip-flopped, causing him to heave again, though nothing came out. He guessed that his stomach was all emptied out, at least, by the look of the sheer amount of puke that was on the floor. Even _he_ was surprised; Lance normally wasn’t a puker, but… there were limits, and he guessed that being taken by presumably the Galra, littered with injuries and god knows what done to you was one of those limits.

Lance looked through the small window of his door, out into the hallway. He couldn’t see anything but other doors like his, presumably full of other prisoners, like him. It felt really strange being there, but surprisingly enough, Lance didn’t feel any fear, that is, until a Galran face looked at him through the window.

Yelling and stumbling, falling back, Lance quickly scattered across the floor, pressing himself against the corner of the room, his eyes wild. He didn’t have any weapons, other than his fists, which he held up defensively in front of him, he chest heaving and starting to hyperventilate. While his mind didn’t remember what had happened between the events with his team, and being waking up here, his body sure did. It tensed, and he bit his lip, trying to stop the shake in his arms.

The door swung open, revealing the figure of a hefty Galran- it looked like it’s arms were the size of Lance’s body. He let out a little whimper as the Galra walked closer, it’s beady little eyes trained right on him. It reached out, grabbing Lance’s arm- the injured one- with ease, and dragged him over, before putting him in some weird space handcuffs and throwing him over his shoulder, effectively walking out.

Lance struggled against the alien’s grip, twisting, and kicking out, but it was no use- the larger, er, man? Man. He had too tight of a grip for Lance to be able to do anything. Instead, he let himself go limp, with a shaky sigh.   

They walked for a bit. Lance had tried to make conversation with him, but nothing seemed to be working, and his head was starting to ache. He really wished he had gotten a drink before he was whisked out of his cell- his tongue felt like parchment paper, and his lips were dry and chapped, scraping against each other.

Lance didn’t really know where they were going. He could tell that they were moving throughout the hallways of the ship, and that it had to be fairly large ship for them to be walking for so long, but other than that, he didn’t… really register. Everything was kind of blurry to him- his body hurt, his head hurt, and he was confused. Terrified and confused.

At last, the Galra stopped. He stopped for a moment, and Lance tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he could only feel it tighten around him. Giving up, he lay limp again, though tried to get a view as to what was going on as his guard or whatever opened the door.

A stream of conversation seemed to be going on, though not in a language Lance could understand. Abruptly, he was dropped to the floor, hissing and grunting with pain.

“What the fuck man, I thought we were dudes…” he muttered, picking himself up off of the ground.

What Lance saw, shocked him. There were other prisoners, just like him, all around him. They all worse the same rags, and had the same handcuffs- but… There were Galran guards putting stuff on them. Armour. Helmets. Handing them weapons. What was going on? Lance struggled to make sense of everything before he remembered something Shiro had said a while back.

When he was captured, he was forced to compete in Gladiator Rings. He had to kill to survive. Lance’s eye’s grew wide as he realized what was going on-  he was going to be a part of those rings.

Lance could feel himself start to hyperventilate. No, he couldn’t go into those rings! He couldn’t- he’d never get past the first round. He’d never be able to kill anything. No. No. His felt his knees grow weak, as he looked around with panicked eyes. Oh god, he had heard stories about these rings. Shiro could barely talk about his time in them, but he still heard stories. Oh no. This was bad, so bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. But.. didn’t he want to die? It was all so confusing, conflicting.

His thoughts were pulled away from him as his cuffs were released and heavy armour was thrown over him. He felt himself freeze, his mind going blank.

“You are to compete in these rings. A fight to the death- no exceptions. If you win, you will be allowed to live for another day, with food and water. If you lose, well, you’re dead, obviously.” It was one of the Galra, who seemed to know english, or at least had one of the translation devices like the castle had installed. Lance slowly felt himself nodding, his fists clenched tight. Something hard was shoved into them, and he looked down, surprised at what he saw.

His bayard. Somebody had kept it for him- but who. He looked up to the alien that had put it in his hands, questioning, but they only shrugged, walking away. Well, with this… Lance could feel his confidence starting to creep back. With this, he almost had a chance.

 

* * *

 

Killing, it seemed, wasn’t all that different than the training Lance had done so, so many times back at the castle. It was almost exactly the same- just as long as he looked past the terror in the prisoner’s eyes in front of him, he could do it.

As long as he looked past the fact that he was murdering countless innocent people so that he, himself wouldn’t die.

What would his teammates think? Would they scorn him- call him selfish? Well, Lance already knew he was selfish. That had informed him many times already, so maybe hearing it again wouldn’t hurt as much. Maybe they’d call him a murderer. That sounded more like it. He didn’t even know why he was thinking these things- it wasn’t as if he was going to leave this ship. He’d probably die, and rot in it. Everybody else thought he was dead, after all, he had given them his last goodbye… maybe.. Maybe there was hope. Wasn’t that why he was trying so hard? His team wouldn’t give up on him so easily- Blue would know that he was alive. Keith… Coran… they wouldn’t give up on him so quickly.

Lance’s leg was really starting to give out now- he knew that he wasn’t going to last soon. Currently, he was leaning against one of the low walls meant for protection. The one creature, he was facing was hard- there was a reason that both of them were in the final two. It was large, tall, almost three time Lance’s height, and it’s strength seemed unimaginable. Rather than using the guns or knives or swords that the Galra offered, it seemed content to just use it’s claws and horns- impaling anything that got to close to it. The only weakness that Lance could see was it’s eyes- it couldn’t see very well, and from what he could manage, it was one of the spots that when shot, would take it down. Anything else seemed to be deflected off of it’s skin.

Lance took a deep breath. He could hear the creature coming closer and closer to him- the thing seemed to have an immaculate sense of smell. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to get very far with his legs. The crowd full of Galra cheered behind him, the whole stadium loud and pounding against his ears. Reading his gun, Lance raised his upper half above the wall, scanning for the brute.

There it was! Lumbering around in front of him. He watched it’s back for a second, before, shit! It turned around, nostrils flaring. Lance realized that it had caught onto his scent, and was heading his way- all or not, Lance didn’t doubt it’s ability to smash through and pummel him to death.

He took a shaky breath, aiming his gun at it’s face. It began lumbering quicker, faster, faster, and Lance knew that he only had a few more seconds. The crosshairs lined up with it’s eye. He exhaled.

_Bam!_

His laser went forward, true and strong- hitting it’s target dead on. The arena went silent for a moment, everybody waiting on the edge of their seats. A long, drawn out groan filled the air, followed with a dull thud as it’s body hid the ground. The arena broke out into a roar, with horns sounding.

Lance found himself standing up, his legs shaky, his body hurting. The thing, the creature lay dead in front of him, it’s tongue lolling out of it’s head, it’s one good eye still wide open with shock. Lance could feel the bile rise in his throat, and he doubled up to throw up again, this time only his stomach acid coming out, burning his throat.

 

* * *

 

He was taken back to his cell. Thankfully, it had been cleaned- water was still pooled up in areas of the floor. Stumbling from the guard’s grasp, he fell onto his hands, wincing as the pain went through his injured arm. It had been a long day. A very- very long day. More bruises and cuts littered his body from the fights he had gone through- mostly from the beginning, as he was adjusting to everything. In the end, things were easier.

Lance sat there, again, his stomach gurgling with hunger. He had taken a long drink from the tap to quench his thirst, but… the day he had went on the mission with everyone was a Thursday, so he hadn’t eaten since the day before that mission. He also didn’t know how long he was passed out for.

He waited. They had to feed their prisoners- he was promised, anyways! Lance had won the competition! They had promised food, he was sure of it. Though, they never promised _when_

Food was going to be given. It could be days, even weeks before they decided to serve him. Biting his lip, he layed back down on the floor, the cool concrete surface soothing his cheek. Things were bad. Was his team looking for him? What about Voltron- would they be able to form it without him? No, not if they didn’t find a replacement to pilot Blue. A knot built itself in Lance’s stomach.

The silence was comforting. He felt his eyes close, and sleep lulling over him. It seemed as though god, if there was one, had taken mercy on him to give him a rest nightmare free.

There was a clang against his door. Loud, sheer, and it woke Lance up. The door was rising- more Galra emerging from behind it. He groaned, shuffling away. What did they want with him now? They didn’t expect him to fight again, did they? He didn’t want to go back. Not yet. Not ever.

Rough hands brushed against his skin as they picked him up, putting cuffs on him again. Lance didn’t even bother resisting this time, just wordlessly complying, his stomach still gurgling and hurting. The bruises against his body were starting to take colour now- deep purples and blue, that would probably evolve into green and yellow as they grew older.

Silently, they dragged him out, this time not picking him up like the last one did. The walk was even longer- elevators were taken, and a few times it looked like they had to stop to get past security of some sort.

They brought him into a stark white room, where smaller, thinner, Galra seemed to be waiting for him. They were dressed in all white, hoods up to cover their face. He was dropped there, his guards seemingly leaving quickly, shutting the door behind him.

“What- what’s going on?” Lance choked, somehow this felt a little more terrifying than the battles.

One of them stepped forward, their hand extended to pull the boy up and guide him to what only seemed to be a tub full of water.

“You have been summoned by Prince Lotor- he wishes to see you, the champion, after you have been cleaned and pruned to his liking.” Her voice was flat, yet a little calming.

Lance didn’t have any clue who this Lotor fuck was, but he didn’t like the sound of it. He almost had the heart to say that he didn’t want to be cleaned- to let the guy that did this to him see his work in full bloom, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t know what would happen if he snarked off.

They undressed him and set him in the water. It burned against his wounds, but as soon as a sort of salve was added into it, the pain seeped away, and all Lance could do was let out a relieved sigh.

 

* * *

 

His wounds had been treated and bandaged up. His body didn’t ache as much anymore. He was given new clothes that didn’t reek of bile, blood and sweat- they were all white, fluttery, and soft. All Lance wanted to do was to eat, and curl up and go to sleep. Other, than, of course, getting off the ship. That, or… the thought of dying still itched in the back of his mind. Maybe if things got really bad, he’d just… end it for himself.

Lance was put back in handcuffs, his hair dried, and smelling fruity. His leg was more stable now, so he was able to walk fine, despite the dread filling his stomach as they reached only he could assume was Lotor’s throne room- the doors were grand enough.

They opened with an ominous creak, and he was shoved unceremoniously inside, forced to his knees. The door was shut behind him, and he looked up.

A man’s face- handsome, with white hair, and pointed ears beamed down at him.

“So _there’s_ the Paladin that I found stranded on my ship. My, my, you look much more beautiful that I had imagined.”

Lance’s mouth fell open, flabbergasted.  

So _this_ was the Lotor person the others had been talking about. He didn’t really meet Lance’s idea’s on what he would be like. He wasn’t big and bulky like the other Galra he had met, and he certainly didn’t have some of the same features as them. To be honest… he looked more like Allura and Coran!

Lance’s eyes narrowed, and he looked at him suspiciously.

“What… do you want with me?”

The prince moved closer, his arms welcoming, white, silky hair flowing down his back. “Only to meet and share a meal with you, my dear Paladin. You fought so well in the arena- completely different than what I had thought. I don’t think your team sees your full potential.” His voice was almost like a purr, engulfing Lance. He slipped over, and undid Lance's handcuffs.

Lotor’s hand snaked around Lance’s shoulder, causing him to tense, yanking it away. “Wh- why am I here? Why did you save me?” His voice cracked slightly, as he took a small step back.

Looking back at him, Lotor gave Lance a small smile, pushing his hair out of his face. “Simply put, I took pity on you. The whole thing was a trap, of course. We knew you guys were there the minute you stepped foot on that ship, but _you_ were the only one who sensed something was wrong, you were the only one who raised their voice about it. I saw the way they shot you down- rolled their eyes. It made me think- what kind of team is Voltron, if that’s the way they treat their members?”

Lance swallowed hard, turning his head down, remembering all the painful moments he had gone through while on the castle. “They’re not like that all the time…” he trailed, wringing out his hands. Somehow, he felt like the prince had a point.

Lotor slowly nodded, reaching out with one hand to lightly brush the side of Lance’s head- where his injury was. “Yet they left you to die?” His voice was soft, a murmur. Lance flinched, but didn’t move away this time, continuing to look at the ground. “ I saw how _loyal_ you were to them- sacrificing yourself so that they could get away. And yet, you didn’t give up in vain; you fought your hardest, and well,” The man leaned in closer, his lips brushing against Lance’s ear, “I was mesmerized.”

Feeling a shiver go down his spine, Lance exhaled, finding himself holding his breath. The prince was close- far too close. He was Galran- royalty at that, so shouldn’t he be dead by now?

“So why did you put me through the Gladiator ring? You wanted to finish me off then?” His voice was accusing, a little snarky- Lance knew he was pushing it, but at this point, he didn’t feel like he had anything to lose.

Lotor took a step back, laughing this time, his head thrown back a little. “Ha! You’re a tricky one, aren’t you? My dear, that was, as you humans would call it, a formality- not many know this, but if the champion is deemed worthy enough by the crown, he or she may be permitted to meet with them. I was quite sure after watching your little display back on my ship that you’d be able to get through it. With ease, I might add. Come now, your questions have been answered. Share a meal with me- continue to enlighten me with your charm.”

His arm swept around Lance, who tensed, hesitant. Should he really go with this man? Well, it wasn’t as if he had much of a choice, and there was always the possibility of angering him if he refused. Plus, the ache of hunger that went through his stomach made it hard for him to say no.

Carefully following the man,  Lance could smell his cologne, which was a bit woody. He didn’t know the Galra wore spray, and it surprised him that he was even thinking about it. Shouldn’t he be thinking of getting back to his team? Escaping?

The table in front of them was full to the brim with food. Things he didn’t recognize, but still smelled heavenly. Saliva quickly built up in Lance’s mouth as he stared in front of him, his body almost moving towards it with it’s own free will. Lotor laughed- hearty, letting his fingers trail off of Lance’s shoulder as he seated himself down, indicating Lance to do the same.

Once the food hit Lance’s mouth, he was entranced- it tasted so good, so much better than the goo he had been living off of. Lance wasn’t a cook, and without help from Hunk, almost all of the time, it tasted bland, like oatmeal. But this, this tasted like his food from home. The spices, the smells, it all reminded him of his Mama. It filled him up inside, making him feel all warm and fuzzy.

Prince Lotor wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Lance had pictured him to be cruel and unjust, but… he treated Lance with respect. Praised him on his fighting and techniques, and even some of his flying that he had seen through some of the countless battles they had with the Galra. He couldn’t help but blush every time the prince complimented him on his looks- his skin, about how well he took care of it. It was a little thing, that nobody else had realized before.

But… deep inside him, he knew that he should still be trying to escape. After their chat, and dinner, he’d be thrown back into his cell, where his injuries would rot, and his days would go by unnoticed. So when Lotor had stepped out for a moment, Lance was on his feet, looking around for an exit.

Quickly, he found one, dashing to the door and slipping through it, trying to make his way down the empty hallway as quickly as he could. His heart raced, and he thought he would be able to make it out until…

Something sharp pricked his lower back and a shock went through him, sending him thrashing out on the floor, unable to even scream. It rendered Lance useless, and he lay there twitching, looking up at the ceiling. Fuck. Well, he had done it now- his body tensed and he screwed his eyes shut as hands grabbed at his sides, picking him up.

“Hmm, I figured this would happen. Such a smart Paladin wouldn’t give up the opportunity to run.” It was Lotor.

“Should we leave him to rot, my lord? No food, nor water- put him in the trials?” Lance held back a groan- he’d rather be killed right then and there.

“No.” The prince’s voice was curt. “This one is still mine- I claimed him. No… he’ll be punished by me. I’ll teach him to have loyalty, give him here.”

Lance could feel himself getting transferred, softer hands holding him now. He kept his eyes shut and mouth closed as Lotor began to walk with him, terrified to find out what was coming next.

 

* * *

 

Lance’s head was pulled out from under the water- he coughed and spluttered, struggling to take in a breath. Lotor kneeled down in front of him, one hand still gripping him by the hair, the other gripping his chin.

“Your team does not want you. They don’t see you as an equal- only something disposable, not even worthy as a _pet._ ” His eyes were cold, harshly staring into Lance’s. “They don’t love you. They don’t need you. _They’ve already forgotten about you.”_

A sob escaped Lance’s mouth as he heaved against Lotor’s hands. He knew he was right. Every word was spoken with truth. Lance had knew it all along, had felt it the moment he had stepped foot on that ship, but he… never really registered fully until now. Until it was all told to him.

“You’re right,” He choked. His nose was bleeding and his scalp hurt- a few deep gashes bled freely on his shoulders and chest. “You’re so right. Please- no more.”

Lotor’s eyes softened, and he let go of Lance’s hair, softly brushing against his cheek. “I know this is hard, but it’s a necessary evil. This was the only way to drill it into you.” He Helped Lance away from the tub of water, cradling him in his arms as the paladin clung to him, sobbing. “There’s one last thing I must do, Lance.”

“...What?”

Lotor let go of him, gently leaving him to sit on the floor. He got up, leaving the room for a second, before reemerging with two other guards and what looked to be a hot branding iron. It glowed red, almost white- he could practically feel the heat radiating off of it. Lance looked at it, his eyes wide. He violently shook his head, his body trembling.

“Lotor, no, please, don’t do this, no, no, _agh!_ ”

Hands held him down as he squirmed and writhed, his shirt pulled up and pants pulled down slightly. The branding iron sizzled against his skin, right on… right on his left hip. Lotor held his hand, whispering comforting words in Lance’s ear as he sobbed.

The iron was drawn away, and the two other galra were shooed out of the room, as Lotor stroked his hair. Lance breathed through his mouth, smelling yet again burnt flesh. He peered down at his hip, his hand trembling as he pulled back the elastic band of his pants.

It was the Galran seal. Burned into his skin. Branded.

A tear escaped his eye, and his lips quivered, but Lance didn’t say a word. He held onto Lotor, silenced.

“Come on. Let’s get to bed- up we go.” The prince picked up Lance easily, holding him bridal style as the boy wrapped his arms around his neck, putting his face against his chest as he nodded. Was this his home now?

 

* * *

 

“Paladins! We’ve got an upcoming message!” Coran’s voice rung over the castle’s telecom, filling the hallways.

Everybody stopped what they were doing, shocked, surprised, before running out, meeting up in the command room. Keith was the first to arrive, his shoulders heaving, and panting with how fast he ran.

“Is it Lance? Oh god, please tell me it’s Lance,” His voice was cracked, as he trained his eyes on the screen, holding his breath.

Everybody else filed in, questions filling the air.

“Hold on, hold on, let me activate it.” Coran pressed a button, and something popped up on the screen.

“Team Voltron, I am Prince Lotor, of the Galra Empire,” the man introduced himself, his smile wide against his purple skin. “You seemed to have left something of yours back on my ship- how about you take a look.”

The camera shifted to show a shot of Lance, sleeping in a bed, white blankets surrounding him. You could still see the blood staining his white shirt, and the injury on his head. “How could you leave him like that- to die? You should have seen him in the rings, he fought so well, such a _warrior_ in my eyes.”

Everybody gasped.

Keith pushed forward, his eyes wild, fists clenched. “Lance! Lance!” He screamed, his voice hoarse. The boy seemed broken, dark circles under his eyes. Had he even gotten any sleep? He turned his head, staring into Lotor’s eyes with a glare. “Give him back.”

Lotor chuckled, bringing the camera back to his face for a second, before getting closer to the sleeping boy. He looked so peaceful, curled up, hugging his pillow. “No- this boy is mine now. I’ve taken a liking to him, I see his potential. He’s rightfully mine, look, I even have the proof!” He focused the camera on Lance’s hips, pulling back his pants far enough to show the brand. “The seal. It'll be with him forever- a reminder for the ages!”

Keith practically growled, shouting every obscenity he could at the man, as he let the band snap back against Lance's skin. Screaming cursing- Hunk had to hold him back so he wouldn’t go and smash Coran’s controls. 

“You’ll never own him! He belongs to us- he’s a Paladin of Voltron!”

“Maybe you should've thought of that before you abandoned him.”

The screen went blank and Keith had never felt so defeated in his life.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter- sorry it's a little shorter this time! I want to thank everybody who commented on my last chapter, it really makes me feel all happy on the inside, lol. Thanks for the support!


	3. Piercing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Rape/non-con warning, but it's not graphic

 

“We have to go get him!” Keith’s voice was strained as he yelled, his eyes still trained on the screen, as if Lance would pop up on it again at any moment. His hair was ruffled, and there were dark circles under his eyes. “C’mon, let’s all get into our Lions and try to find this Lotor shit.”

“Wait, Keith,” a hand grabbed his shoulder- it was Shiro. He looked almost defeated, his eyes slightly glazed over. Keith couldn’t imagine what the older man was going through, seeing one of his teammates being captured and hurt in the exact same place where he lost his arm. “We can’t go rushing into things.”

Keith pulled back, anger bubbling up into him. “You of all people should know that we have to get Lance out of there as soon as possible! Did you see what they did to him? They branded him! Claimed him as their own!” His voice was cracking slightly with emotion.

“Things could have been worse, Keith, it doesn’t look like he’s too far off,” someone added in, making Keith’s head swing around, absolute fury going through him. It was Pidge, who admittedly now, seemed to regret what she said.

“Too far off? _Too far off?_ What the _fuck_ does that mean Pidge? That he doesn’t deserve to be rescued? He was put in the rings! Don’t you remember Shiro’s stories about them? They’re torturing him! It’s our responsibility to get him back, because he gave up his life for us! For you Pidge- for you! And not only that, he’s part of our team! How the fuck could you say that, just because he annoys you a little.” Pidge recoiled, looking at the ground.

There was an absolute look of madness in Keith’s eyes, frenzied, his fists clenched. Hunk had began to cry, his sobs filling the room.

Keith turned to look at everybody, his voice growing dangerously quiet from the yelling he had done before. “Lance is a part of our team. He is the Blue Paladin. Nobody, _nobody,_ can replace him. I don’t think anybody’s realized this, but he works harder than all of us combined- don’t you think there was a reason for him always being late for breakfast? It took me a while to figure it out, but he’s been training at night, throughout the night. All of this just to get better to help _us_ , to be a part of the team. You know what level I last saw him on?” There was an eerie silence throughout the room, the air thick with tension. “21. Level 21- that’s higher than all of us.”

“...Why didn’t you tell us, Keith? Why didn’t Lance tell us?” It was Allura, her voice uncharacteristically timid, as if she would set off a bomb if she didn’t address something right.  

“Because Lance didn’t know that I knew- he wanted to keep it a secret. Plus, I wanted to see how long it would take you guys to _figure it out_ ,” His last few words came out as a snarl, looking over the other members of the ship. Hunk cried even harder, his shoulders shaking heavy with his sobs. Shiro looked guilty as his eyebrows furrowed together. Pidge just held onto Hunk, silent.

“I knew.” Keith’s head turned to face Coran, who had spoken up, his expression somber. He wiped away a few tears from his eyes. “I knew that he was training. He came to me with his injuries once, he dislocated his knee the night before and he came to me to get a brace, but I put him in the cryopod instead. He… seemed so nervous.”

Allura let out a soft gasp, her hand coming up to her mouth. “Oh dear… oh dear, oh dear…” Her lower lip quivered and she turned away, her shoulders shaking. “I yelled at you two… I.. I said something along the lines of he needed to do something deserving to use the cryopod.. I.. I was stressed, and angry, but I shouldn’t have taken out that anger on Lance...”

Keith looked away, his fists still clenched. “We all did stupid things, but now we’ve got to pay for it…we _have_ to find him.”

For once, the team nodded, sniffling, and wiping away tears. Hunk’s sobs had been reduced to loud hiccups as he gathered himself together. Pidge lightly patted him, her own eyes watery. “I’ll start scanning for sources and use the files we stole to see if I can find anything- that message from Lotor should… it should help too.” Her voice was quiet, a little distant, as if a million things were going through her head at once.

“I’ll help Pidge, and- _hic-_ cook of course, everybody needs to be well fed for- for this mission.”

Shiro walked over to Allura and Coran, putting a hand on the princess’s shoulder. “I’ll help Allura with whatever needs helping.”

“I send send out signals to planets nearby to see if they’ve seen any Galra, and their ships, and possibly Lotor.” Allura’s voice was more confident now, as she gathered herself together.

“And I’ll keep the castle in tip-top shape for when number three gets back!” Some of Coran’s enthusiasm seemed to come back, though it seemed a little forced.

Keith nodded his head, accepting everyone’s plans. “Good. I’ll do whatever I can to help you guys. I’ll see if I can get Red to ask Blue if she can reach out to Lance in anyway.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, well, lets just get to work.”

Anxiety still dug at Keith’s stomach- something still didn’t feel quite right. Lance wasn’t in a cell, or tied up when they saw him- he was sleeping soundly in a bed, one with pillows and blankets. His face even looked peaceful, despite the injuries on his body. Just what was going on?

 

* * *

 

Lance woke up to warm fingers brushing against his cheek, dragging softly over his lips, pulling at them slightly. His eyes fluttering open, confused as to where he was, before memories trickled back into view.

Lotor leaned over him, his face soft as he watched the awakening boy. “Good morning, my paladin.” He cooed, his hand slipping down to brush over the spot where Lance had been branded. The smaller boy groaned and squirmed away, muttering something about how he was still sore

Laughing, Lotor got up, pulling the blankets with him. Lance groaned once more, before finally sitting up, stretching out his back a little. He still hurt all over, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been the day before. His fingers brushed idly past his hip, remembering the events that had taken place last night with a pang. His heart still hurt, remembering everything about his team, and being the Blue Paladin, but… he agreed with Lotor. Everything that he had said- they didn’t need, nor want them.

… So why should he go back? Why should he fight so hard to escape when we wasn’t welcomed at the castle? When nobody was going to look for him anyways? They thought he was dead, and that was all that Lance needed.

They’d find a new paladin for Blue; she would understand, she always did. They’d have great times with them, work better with them, and everything would be fine without Lance. It was better if he just stepped off to the side, did his own thing. He was stuck here on this ship, with Lotor, who actually seemed to like him, who praised him. They might be the Galra, the ones he was fighting against before, but things… things were different now, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Lotor left the room, and Lance took it as the chance to get changed. His clothes were still bloody, and they smelled a little. Finding the small pile of fresh shirts and pants left for him a the foot of the bed, he quickly changed, throwing the old ones down the shoot. The outfit he wore now was still white and flowy, different than what everybody else wore. He wasn’t quite too sure why, but he didn’t question it. Thankfully, new shoes were given to him as well- they resembled normal tennis shoes back at home, and were pretty comfortable.

He quietly walked into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. Lance could hardly recognize who was looking back at him. A large bruise went under his eye, curling across his cheek and up his socket. It was a mess of dark purples and blues, ugly against his otherwise perfect skin. He had ugly eye bags underneath the other, but there wasn’t much Lance could do about it, other than maybe get a bit more sleep.

His fingers reached up to lightly brush up against the large burn wound going across the side of his head- just above his ear. It twinged at the touch but it didn’t feel as bad as it did before. They must have given him some salve for it, or something, because it seemed to be healing faster than normal. The same could be said for his leg and arm.

Lance sighed, moving on to inspect his neck and chest, pulling the collar of his shirt down a little so he could see more. They were certainly deep, but it didn’t seem as though they needed stitches. Plus, when he ran a finger along them, they seemed to have this weird clear cover over them- perhaps a weird Galra healing thing. He wasn’t sure, but he still let his collar go, staring back into the mirror in front of him.

This was not the Lance he once was a year ago. The happy, energetic Lance back at the garrison. The one who talked to his mamá every day over the phone, who wrote her letters. Who got to eat her cooking when she had it sent to him. This Lance was different. So, _so,_ different.

Sighing, Lance bent over to wash all the grime away from his face. He wished he had his skin care products with him, but it wasn’t a necessity- maybe he could ask Lotor if the Galra had their own skin care, and see if he could borrow them to try out. He shrugged to himself, considering the idea, as he patted his skin dry.

When he walked out of the bathroom, Lotor stood waiting for him, a grin on his face. Lance couldn’t help but feel a little excited and scared at the same time- what did he have in store for him?

“I have something I want you to try.”

 

* * *

 

It was a training room. A Galran training room- it looked almost identical to the one on the ship. Lance’s jaw dropped as he looked around, noting the swords, the guns, even some spears, all for training.

“It’s for you to use,” Lotor started, his hand on the small of Lance’s back, warm against the silky cloth, rubbing small circles with his thumb. “I saw how well you fought, and I must say- it’s _enchanting_ to watch, such a show for me. I’d imagine you trained lots back on your ship, no?”

Lance nodded, eyes still wide as he looked around. “Every night, when everyone was asleep. I made it to level 21 before… the mission.” His sentence trailed off, but he still seemed eager to try it out.

Lotor’s eyebrows raised, as he let out a low whistle. “That’s pretty high, my paladin. I’m impressed! But I should have known, seeing how talented you are with that gun of yours- look I even had it brought in here, for your use.”

Lance looked over to where Lotor was pointing, a small smile forming on his lips as he saw his bayard, hanging from one of the posts. His old urges to train were coming back- his body itched to move, even though it was injured. Well, he could walk, couldn’t he? He wouldn’t be perfect, but some training wouldn’t hurt. He looked over to Lotor for confirmation, getting a nod in response.

Almost giddily, Lance broke away from Lotor’s embrace,heading straight for his weapon. “Start training sequence number one.” His voice was clear, concise.

Lotor leaned back against the wall, watching his Paladin. A smirk broke out across his face as he brought up a camera to film.

 

* * *

 

The blue paladin seemed to move with such ease, such grace as he worked against the bots. At first, he seemed to struggle a little bit, getting used to his injured body and the slightly different mechanics of Galra training simulations, but after that, he seemed to soar.

Lotor found himself watching closely, with the camera trained on him every time he turned, dodged or shot, his eyes keenly glued to the sway of the paladin’s hips. A small smirk formed on his lips every time his shirt rose enough to allow the brand to peak through, an angry red against his darker skin.

Oh, he liked this paladin. This insecure, naive, pretty little paladin. He brought the camera up to focus on his face, zooming in so you could see the sweat forming on his forehead, the cuts peeking out from underneath his collar, the focused expression in his eyes as he breathed heavily, working his way up the sequences.

Voltron would surely miss having this as one of their weapons. He knew it would be a loss on their part, and he’d do everything he could to convince Lance otherwise. His seed of doubt and worry had already planted itself in the little paladin, and all he had to do was to just keep enforcing it. Praise him, love him, destroy him from the inside out.

 

* * *

 

A month had passed.  A whole month- Lance could finally feel himself grow a little more comfortable being in Lotor’s presence. He slept in his room with him, in the same bed as him, ate the same food as him. Lotor was always at his side. Truthfully, Lance was glad that he wasn’t back in the cells anymore. The darkness, the dampness, the smells, it was too much for him to handle. So the bed, the food, the training room, they were all something Lance was eternally grateful for.

Lance found it strange how the prince found him so perfect. In every way, everything about him, the prince seemed to compliment. His fighting, his legs, his speed, his back, his mind, his hips. The prince seemed to love everything about him, and Lance couldn’t help but find himself keening at his praised, always wanting more. He wanted to feel wanted, and the prince did exactly that.

He continued to train, working his way up to where he was before. His body was healing nicely- Lotor had some of their medics come in to look at him every day, and to put some sort of Galra medicine on his cuts and burns every day. They always burned at first, but quickly numbed the site they were applied on. By now, they were almost healed, just leaving ugly scars on his skin.The only thing he could complain about was the smell of the salves, and the headaches he got, but things could have been worse.  So, so much worse.

Lately, he didn’t shy away from Lotor’s touches as much as he did- he was getting used to them, maybe even enjoying them a little. Lance was a cuddler. He always had been, always was.

Physical touch was a huge thing for him, and he remembered one of the things he missed back on the castle was just being able to hug someone, or lean his head on their shoulder, or even have their legs brush! But when everybody seemed to ignore him, cast him out of their existence, he got none of that. Nobody wanted to be within 5 feet of him. So now, he welcomed the touches, embraced them.

Lotor couldn’t be happier.

Slowly, but surely, Lance grew accustomed to the ship. There were few places he go on his own- without Lotor he was basically confined to their room, to wait until he came back from his duties, but the prince didn’t ever leave him without food or some form of entertainment.

Currently, Lance was teaching himself Galra, learning from an old module that Lotor had found and given to him. It tied over the days,  but Lance always found himself perk up when Lotor came back, a smile on his face. They always went to the training room, where Lance would work. Sometimes Lotor would join him, sometimes he would just sit back and watch.

But something felt different this time. Lotor’s gaze on him felt different than before. More intense, more trained… just, different. Lance couldn’t really put his finger on it, but he couldn’t stop the shudder from running down his spine.

Lance had his shirt off, sweat dripping off his body. He was finally filling out a little more- the fat that he had lost from not being able to eat properly back at the castle had started to come back, and his muscles looked more pronounced than other. The brand glistened, just peeking out from his pant line. He was almost finished- just one bot left before he would be done for the day. His stomach was rumbling, and he wanted to take a break. He was sure Lotor was getting tired of watching him too- there was something antsy going on with the prince, and it made Lance feel a little uneasy. He didn’t want to anger him.

Finally, with one last blow, the bot dropped, vanishing into thin air. Lance panted, breathing hard with exertion. It was a hard battle- the galra simulators were a little more lengthy than the ones back at the castle, but he figured it was because many of the Galran soldiers who used it were much larger and had better stamina than he. It wasn’t something that necessarily bothered him, but Lance still worked towards fixing those parts of himself anyways.  

He went to put his bayard away, slipping his shirt back on. Turning to Lotor, he still couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling he was getting.

“Okay, I’m done now, let’s go back.”

 

* * *

 

On their walk back to their room, Lotor was calm, graceful as always, but Lance could still feel something weird in the air. Something felt off, different, and it clung to him like mist on a foggy day.

The door to their room opened, and Lance stepped in, Lotor quickly after them. The door shut softly, and he could hear Lotor putting up the locks. This caught Lance a little by surprise- he only did that, from the outside, when he was going to leave Lance alone for the day.

Looking quizzically at Lotor, but refraining from saying anything, lance proceeded to take off his shoes, slipping one off, then the other, before something pushed up against him, hard.

Lotor’s hands spun him around,  making the boy face him, before pushing him against a wall, his larger, stronger body pinning him down.

Lance looked up at the prince, his eyes wide. He could see the strength in the man’s eyes, dark and glittering. Suddenly Lotor’s lips crashed down onto Lance’s pushing hard, deep, against him. Lance struggled, trying to push the man off of him, but the prince was too strong, keeping himself pinned firmly up against lance, his arms reaching out to pin Lance’s hands up above him. He felt a tongue enter his mouth, pushing hard against his own, before they broke away, Lance letting out a gasp for air.

Lotor practically growled, kissing him again, less harsh this time, before picking up Lance and throwing him on the bed, pinning him down again, roughly pulling the smaller boy’s shirt off, going back down to kiss him. His hands played around his his hips, his fingers trailing over the work that he had done- the mark that he had burned into him.

Lance struggled harder this time, finally able to push the man away. “Stop,” he gasped, a bit of a sob escaping his mouth. “I don’t want this.”

Lotor drew back his eyes growing cold, a little harsh. “Don’t want this? Don’t want _me,_ the one who saved you, who helped you, who gave all of _this,_ to you?” He gestured around the room, his voice harsh, rough. He looked down, examining Lance’s face. “You’re still thinking of your team. How many times must I tell you that you don’t mean anything to them- they starved you, didn’t they? That’s what you told me- they wouldn’t change the food that you were allergic to. They disregarded you, hated you, they’re not even looking for you- don’t you think they would have been here by now? _I am the only one here who loves you._ You _only_ have me. If you don’t want me, you can head straight back down to the cells, where you’ll rot, and be forced into the rings again.” He leaned down, his breath tickling Lance’s face. “Do you want that?”

Lance swallowed. No, he didn’t want that. He had to force himself not to shudder at the thought of going back down there, all alone. No. He wanted Lotor. It was his only choice.

Managing a small smile, he shook his head. “I’m sorry… I was just surprised, that’s all.” Leaning forward, he kissed Lotor back. “I… I want this.”

The prince rumbled, a smirk forming on his face “that’s my paladin.” He leaned down, pressing Lance’s head against the pillow.

Lance was completely unaware that a camera was rolling in the background.

 

* * *

 

Keith looked up at the screen, horrified at what he was seeing. Horrified at what Lance was doing, or, well, being forced to do.This was the first time he had seen him in a month- he looked healed, for the most part.  Coran stood next to him, his hand on Keith’s shoulder as he watched too, silently. Suddenly, the Altean leaned forward, turning the screen off.

Keith stood still as a stone, his body trembling the slightest. Tears formed in his eyes as he felt his heart drop to his stomach- he knew what Lance was doing. What Lance had done. His stomach couldn’t take it- he took a couple steps away, vomiting. The brand he saw was ingrained in his mind. Lance didn’t want that. He couldn’t have wanted that- not with… not with _that man_. He was the enemy, and Lance was just a victim, right?

He looked over to Coran, wiping his mouth.

“We can’t show this to anybody else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY GUYS. I HAD TO DO IT. I GOTTA BREAK PEOPLE FOR THE STORY. 
> 
> So yeah, Lance did the do with Lotor, and Keith saw some of it. It sucks. I'm crying. I added the warning b/c even though Lance technically gave his 'consent,' it was still forced out of him, because he was threatened. 
> 
> As always, thank you for all the wonderful comments! I feel like this one is a little too short, so I apologize you guys! I tried my best to make it interesting, so I hope you like it!


	4. Eyes Locked

3 months. Lance checked off the date mentally in his head, going over the days that had passed on his fingers. It had been 3 months since the mission, 3 months since he was sure he was going to die. His bruises had disappeared, his wounds were healed, leaving only scars left on his body, the hair on his head that had been burned off by the shot to his helmet had grown back, though was still notably more short than the rest. The only imperfection that could be seen by a passerby’s eye were the hickies on his neck, and his swollen red lips. 

He looked at himself in the mirror, his hair still wet and trailing down his neck- it was longer now, than it had been. Lance could almost call it a mullet, but it wasn’t quite there yet. He had asked to cut it a while back, but Lotor liked the look. He liked the curls, apparently, so much so, that often Lance found the prince playing with them while they laid in bed. It was a bit endearing, really.

Lance noticed that his muscle structure had increased significantly- he wondered if part of it was because of the Galra simulations, and his body adjusting itself to them. Either way, his shoulders seemed broader, calves thicker, core stronger. Just a hint of fat ran over him still, mostly situated at his hips. Lotor insisted that he was more beautiful that way, that he liked something soft to grab onto, but Lance wasn’t too sure. He didn’t go out of his way to work off the fat, but he didn’t stop himself from pushing harder during training either.

His fingers trailed up to touch the hickies that were left on his neck from last night. He winced. They, themselves didn’t hurt, but the memories that came flooding back into his head did. Well, other parts of his body, too, to be genuinely honest.

Having sex with Lotor wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t as if the man was bat-shit crazy with the stuff he did with Lance, but deep down inside, Lance knew that he didn’t really want to submit himself like that. It sent a wave of shame down him every time he felt himself slip away, every time he felt pleasure from it, simply because he didn’t resist anymore. It was his job to keep Lotor happy, and so he did everything he could to do so. He was in debt.

A knock at the bathroom door sent Lance jumping, quickly pulling back on his shirt. Taking one last peek at himself, he pulled his collar up, and reached over to open the door. 

“Ah,  _ there’s _ my paladin, I was beginning to get a bit worried, with you being in there for so long.” Lotor leaned against the wall, eyeing down Lance from head to toe. His eye’s narrowed at just a hint of the bruises sticking up from Lance’s collar, and he laughed, bringing his hands over to pull it down. “So  _ that’s _ why you took so long- like I’ve said before, you don’t have to make an effort to hide them- when you’re next to the heir of the Galra Empire, nobody will look at you with judgement or scrutiny. Maybe a little jealousy, but,” he leaned forward, tugging Lance a little closer. “You can understand  _ that _ , can’t you? My paladin?”

Lance squirmed away from Lotor’s grip, looking away, his cheeks puffed out slightly. “I thought I told you to stop calling me that. Paladin. I’m not a paladin anymore, they don’t mean anything to me anymore.”

A small grin went across Lotor’s face and he reached out, pulling Lance back towards him. “Oh dear, how could I forget- I suppose old habits die hard. How about something more suitable? How about… my soldier?”

“Why that?”

“Oh, you’ll see. We’re going out today.”

 

* * *

Keith sat in his bed. He looked up at the ceiling, the idea of sleep long passing. His thoughts kept him up, like they usually did. Normally he just fought them out on the training deck, but today was different. Pidge had subtly mentioned that it was the 3 month anniversary for Lance’s disappearance earlier that day.

Nobody wanted to admit it, but they were losing hope. They  _ knew _ who Lance was with, but they didn’t have a clue  _ where  _ he was. It was so frustrating, for everyone, seeing the video that Lotor had sent, even more so for Keith, as he and Coran were the only ones who knew  _ what  _ he was doing.

Keith had to constantly remind himself that Lance hadn’t done it because he wanted to. Lotor had threatened Lance, threatened to send him back into whatever cell he came from, and Lance had complied. But that didn’t mean he didn’t feel the sick pit in his stomach every time he remembered the way Lotor’s skin had been pressed up against Lance’s. Didn’t mean he didn’t feel  fury every time he caught a glance of the brand on his hip, every time Lotor’s thumb brushed past it, every time he kissed Lance, or every time  _ Lance kissed him _ . It was an act, he knew, but he couldn’t keep his emotions under control.

Without Coran knowing, Keith had watched through the whole thing. Just once, the day after the video had originally arrived, after he had Coran dispose of it. He felt terrible- he was imposing on Lance’s most private moments, but he had to do it. Keith had to know everything that had happened,  even if it involved him throwing a cup at the screen, shattering it, and then storming off to the training room. And now that he knew, the pit of his stomach wouldn’t go away. Even now, two months later.

Whatever Lance was, he wasn’t a regular prisoner.

 

* * *

Allura’s voice sounded over the intercom, making Keith wake up from the loose sleep he had slipped into.

“Paladins- please come down to the command room. Coran and I have a new mission for you all.”

Keith got up out of his bed, his boots still on his feet, feeling groggy. He felt a little disheartened knowing that what could have been his only chance to sleep had gotten whisked away, but he also was   curious to see what the mission was. And if it involved Lance in any way.

He walked through his sliding door and made his way over to the command room, where everybody, in varying levels of disarray stood. Of course, Allura and Coran were immaculate as ever.

“What’s this all about?” Hunk yawned. “It’s like, 4 in the morning. We don’t get up until 7… wait.” He perked up a little, “is this about Lance? Did you find out where they’re keeping him?”

Everybody seemed to perk up at the thought of finding their Blue Paladin. Allura softly smiled at them, though her tone was slightly disappointed.

“Unfortunately, no, none of us have been able to locate Lance’s exact whereabouts- I’m assuming you and Pidge are still looking at decoding the message Lotor sent to find the coordinates?”

Pidge nodded, rubbing her eyes. There were large, dark circles under them- Keith realized that she hadn’t have been gotten much more sleep than even him, especially if she looked like that. “No, not yet- this one’s unlike one I’ve ever really worked with… it’s strange..”

Allura nodded, “that’s what I thought. However! We might have been given a clue. Coran and I reached out to some locals who lived on the same planet where one of the Galra’s bases have been spotted. A couple spies had been sent in, and they reported back seeing the prince of the Galran Empire in there- the descriptions given of him match the descriptions of Lotor. While the likelihood that Lance is being held there is very low, there can still be some  clues waiting for us. Reports say that Lotor is coming back within a few quintents.”

Keith’s gut jumped at the mention of Lotor’s name. Even hearing it made him feel sick to his stomach, but he knew just how important this information was. He had a sneaking suspicion that wherever Lotor was, Lance had to be close behind.

“We’ll do an invasive mission, then. See how much we can find out about this Lotor guy, and the base itself. Whatever information we gather could be crucial to getting Lance back, so we should focus on getting as much of it as possible.” Keith was surprised to see Shiro speak up, his voice confident, determined. He looked like the leader Voltron was supposed to have- for the first time in weeks, he seemed to have his familiar drive back.

Allura clapped her hands together, nodding her head in confirmation. “Alright! Our ship is headed for a moon nearby, so it can stay hidden during the process- you four will fly out your Lions to the coordinates that I’ll input for you. The castle is already on it’s way there, so we’ll hopefully reach it by the time Lotor arrives.”

Everybody nodded, seeming to feel a bit relieved that they had some time to prepare mentally and physically for it, but also impatient to start. The sooner they found more clues, the sooner they’d find Lance.

Keith left the room first, heading straight for the training room, Shiro right at his side.

 

* * *

Lance got to experience being on a Galran travelling ship for the first time. Apparently, they didn’t use a wormhole for travelling unless their destination was immaculately far away, or it was needed to fight Voltron. Wherever Lotor was taking him hadn’t to have met those two requirements, as he had been counting the days that he was stuck on the smaller ship.

It wasn’t that bad, really. Well, it wasn’t his cup of tea, but Lance couldn’t consider it unbearable. The two still got their own room, luxurious, though, still small, but he hadn’t been permitted to leave it. After the second day, he was beginning to feel a little stir-crazy, especially because he couldn’t train.

Lotor had suggested he continue his studies on learning Galra- something Lance had picked up within the past few months while Lotor was away, and he had to stay in the room. It was different than any other Language he knew, but not unlearnable. He had picked up on it pretty well, being able to hold up some small conversations with the prince. Though still very broken, Lotor had complimented him. Lance was proud of himself.

There were only a few vargas left being cooped up in the ship- Lotor has assured Lance of that. He felt curious to see where they were, where they had travelled, though lance also felt a sense of anxiety. Lotor had never taken him out before, he hadn’t left their previous ship for 3 months, and Lance wasn’t quite sure how he’d react being in a different environment again. He wasn’t sure what type of memories it would bring up.

As they landed, (Lance could feel the rumble rocking the ship as it touched the ground,) Lotor disappeared, for a few minutes. Lance was left waiting in the silence, thumbs twiddling, his heartbeat raising as thoughts of what Lotor could be doing shifted through his mind.

Was he sick of him? Was he throwing Lance away- leaving him deserted on a dead planet, where no one would ever find him? Was he going to kill him? What was going on- this wasn’t like the norm, like how he was used to. It was different, and Lance seemed to have a hard time dealing with it.

What he didn’t expect, however, was to watch Lotor walk back in, with a full armour suit in his hand. Lance stared at it, his eyes wide.

The thing was pure white- like all of the clothes he had been given. It was so much more different than the typical dark colours the Galra wore, so stark, so contrasting. Lance had always wondered why his things were white, especially when they stood out so much. His facial expression seemed to give his thoughts away.

“It’s white because that’s what mates to the Galran royalty wear.”

Lance jumped at the phrase, being Lotor’s ‘mate,” (it sounded so animalistic to him, weird, really) continuing to stare at the suit.

Lotor’s smile turned into a small frown. “Do you not like it?” There was a bit of an edge to his voice.

Lance snapped back into reality, coughing. “No, no- I love it! I love it so much. I was just… taken back by the whole ‘mate’ thing.”

“Well, aren’t you my mate? Partner, if that’s what humans call it?”

Finding himself giving a small nod, Lance swallowed his spit, resisting the urge to fiddle with his hands- something he did when nervous.He smiled softly, looking Lotor in the eye. “Of course I am.” Weren’t things moving a little too fast?

Something tugged at his stomach.

“Come, now. Put it on- I’m giving you a tour of the base here. Won’t it be nice to stretch our legs?”

Lance nodded absently.

 

* * *

Throughout the few days of them travelling to the new planet, Shiro had to practically drag Keith from the training room to make sure he got sleep. Anything else like eating or showering took a lot of persuasiveness. Keith was pretty sure Shiro was beginning to lose his patience with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had to train. He had to work as hard as Lance had, so he could make it up to him. So he could make it up to himself.

The mission came closer and closer, it was like a looming date to Keith. A looming date that he still couldn’t get to fast enough. Keith wanted Lance back, he  _ needed _ Lance back- everyone did, but he didn’t quite think they longer for him like he did.

Keith still didn’t have a good grasp on his feelings, in general, what  _ whatever  _ he felt towards Lance was just a jumbled mess. Though, he was getting more and more sure that it wasn’t just competitiveness.

Finally,  _ finally,  _ the day arrived. The castle landed on the moon without a hitch, completely hidden and undetected by any Galra nearby. That alone was a feat, and for once, he found himself admiring Allura’s skill with handling the castle’s controls. That, and how up-kept Coran kept it, making sure everything was working flawlessly so that Allura wouldn’t have to worry. Both of them were a good team, and for some reason that made Keith happy.

Everybody stood around in the command room, as Shiro went over the details of their mission. It wasn’t as straightforward as the others, though in their situation, it couldn’t really be straightforward. Their only goal was to find out as much about the ship, Lotor, and possibly even Lance as they could. They’d all go in together, carefully, and Pidge would get a scan of the ship, so that they would know where they would going. Allura would keep watch from the castle for any enemies in their wake, and they’d go from there. Hunk and Pidge would team up, while Shiro and Keith, being the strongest fighters, would go solo to cover the most ground.

Everyone had listening devices installed into their helmets (thanks to Pidge,) and a small camera to take pictures if they had time. They’d go out for an hour before regrouping at their exit spot- if anything went wrong, they’d abort the mission.

Keith thought it was a solid plan, and so did everybody else. Even Allura, who was well known for shooting down plan ideas like flies. Everybody took it as an accomplishment.

“Okay, so let’s head out- remember, not being caught is key- avoid contact at all costs.” Shiro seemed to eye Keith as he said his words of warning, knowing full well how the Red Paladin worked.

Keith rolled his eyes, but then nodded. His heart pounded in his chest- this was the first time he felt nervous going into a mission. Nervous knowing that Lance’s kidnapper was inside of the base, but also rearing to go. He wanted nothing more than to rip Lotor’s face off, and whisk Lance away. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He didn’t even know where Lance was. Following the rest, they all mounted into their Lions, doing all their double checks and triple checks.

Keith felt determination flow through him.

 

* * *

Adrenaline rushed through Keith as he quietly slunk down the hallways of the Galran base.

“Keith, watch the hallway coming up on your right- I’m detecting a group of Galra that way.” Allura’s voice buzzed through Keith’s helmet, and he nodded.

“Got it.”

He took heed of the hallway coming up to his right, just barely peeking around the corner. There was, indeed a group of Galra- they stood tall in their armour, chatting among themselves in a weird language he could only assume was Galran.

Easily, they were all incredibly more taller than Keith- he guessed that even the smallest of the group had to be around 7 feet. The tallest had to be reaching up to 9, it’s body thick with muscle. 

He found himself shuddering at the thought of being crushed and defeated by them, which helped cool his urge to go slice them with his sword. No, this mission was stealth only- no contact, not to be seen. They were only there for information, nothing else. Being caught could mean jeopardizing the team.

However, that didn’t mean that Keith couldn’t listen in on them. Silently, he put his finger to a button on the side of his helmet- the listening/translating device activated, and Keith stilled, catching onto every word.

“Have you heard- Prince Lotor’s brought his _ toy  _ down here today. Wanted to show him around, apparently.” It’s voice was gruffer than Keith had expected.

“Show him off, perhaps?” A second one chimed in.

“Ravek, you can’t keep saying that. Prince Lotor declared the human his  _ mate, _ haven’t you seen the white? He presented it with white armor.” A third one scolded.They sounded annoyed.

“My bad. You’re right Heliar. I think a lot of us just find it hard to realize, since it’s not one of us.”

Keith could feel his hands tremble a little. Were they… were they talking about Lance? His heart rate rose, and he quickly gathered his focus again to listen to the conversation.

“Hmm, I suppose you’re right. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the two of them in the hangar. It’s so  _ small,  _  though I believe by human standards, very attractive.”

“Are they still there? In the hangar? I might just go over there to get a look myself…”

“I believe so. Don’t make a fool out of yourself.”

Keith turned, his back facing the wall as he took a moment to breath. Lance. Lance was here.

“Allura, which way is the fastest to the hangar?”

 

* * *

The armour fit Lance perfectly. It hugged his hips, defined his shape, but still left him enough room to move around freely, and it seemed sturdy. It had to have been sturdy, if it was made out of the same stuff the other Galran armour was made- Lance knew from personal experience that it took more than a few shots to take them down if he wasn’t hitting the weak spots.

Lotor seemed to think that it looked amazing on him, judging by the way he eyed Lance, and held him close any time one of the soldier’s eyes lingered for too long. He had even gone as far as to chase one off with a look of murder- something like that could send anybody off running in the other direction.

But Lance wasn’t sure what it meant. Was it just merely a give given to him so they could walk around the base together? Or did it have more meaning than that? Something deeper- did Lotor want him to join his forces?

It made his head hurt. It confused him more than anything, made him uncomfortable in ways he couldn’t understand. Currently, he just chalked it up to being so different than all the other soldiers in the Galran empire. They were so large, strong, and well… Lance was small. He was strong in his own right, quick, with a good shot, but up 1 x 1 against a Galra, without his gun, he’d be dead.

But… he knew there was a deeper reason than that, but Lance didn’t have the heart to admit it to himself. He had sworn that he didn’t care about it anymore.

The two of them continued to walk through the hangar- it was huge, larger than any other hangar he’d ever seen. Lotor’s smooth, silky voice was in his ear for most of the time, sometimes whispering little things that made him blush, while others explaining how some of the weapons worked. 

Lance got to try some of the different guns that were handled. Some of them were small enough to be a simple pistol, like found back on earth, while others he couldn’t even lift. They were more like heavy machine guns, than anything. They made him… worry. Worry about the type of damage they’d do.

Lotor seemed to sense Lance’s hesitance has he eyed over some of the rapid fire machine guns, and a hearty laugh came over him. He placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling Lance close. “You have such a soft heart- I can tell. It’s cute. Some may call it a weakness, but I think it’s quite the opposite. People naturally trust you, which can make you… valuable to gain allies. But don’t worry, we only use this on people who deserve it.”

_ People who deserve it. _

Lance swallowed hard. Those words seemed to echo in him, as he held onto Lotor’s arm, gently resting his head on it. What crossed the line from being innocent to deserving it? Lance didn’t know.

There was a feeling that seemed to go through Lance. He couldn’t describe it, but it was like something important was near him. Something that he strangely missed, something that was a part of him, but he couldn't but his finger on it. Maybe he was just being paranoid, or maybe he wasn’t sleeping right- they were all excuses that he had put up for himself.

That is, until he found the real reason.

A flash of movement had caught Lance’s eye- it was in a corner nor too far away from them. Lotor hadn’t seemed to notice, so he kept his mouth shut, but every one and a while, he peeked over, curious as to what it was. Maybe a soldier was spying on them? Lance had noticed throughout the day that many were intrigued by him.  None so much attracted, or angered, but simply just curious. Their gaze lingered on him like one’s would linger on a particularly bad wound, or scar. He was Lotor’s mate, and he wasn’t Galra. He didn’t fit the norm like everyone else on the ship.

It wasn’t until he saw a flash of black hair did he change his mind. No, it  _ wasn’t _ a Galra. They didn’t have hair like that, well, except for maybe Lotor, but Lance had suspicions about his heritage. So, was it a different alien, a trick of his eye? He looked again. Another flash- this time, armour showed, a flash of red and white. His heart fluttered, and just only were the thoughts of who, or what it could be were forming in his mind. Lance… Lance hadn’t seen armour like that for a long, long time.

It wasn’t until their eyes met, did he know. They held contact for so long, a flush of emotions going through Lance. They felt amazing, they felt good, bad, horrible, conflicted. It was such a rush, such a mishap, that he could only describe it as pure emotion.

It was Keith. He was staring at Keith, staring at his eyes, his face, covered by his helmet, but still his face. Lance almost didn’t believe it. He wanted to deny it. Wanted to deny it and walk away, walk away from everything that had happened. Walk away from Lotor, Keith, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, everyone. He wanted to go back home, and live a life where space was only stars in the sky that he could look at, from his rooftop in Cuba. But he continued to stare, for what seemed like an eternity.

Something tugged at Lance- it was Lotor, looking down at him. Lance broke his gaze, looking back up at the taller man. He gave him a small smile.

“What were you looking at?” Lotor questioned, bringing up his hand to brush some of Lance’s hair out of his face.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just this place… it’s so… big, it’s amazing.”

The prince nodded, chuckling a little. “It is, isn’t it?”

No. Lance had Lotor. Lotor  _ loved _ him.  Knew him. Appreciated him for all the work that he had done. Keith didn’t love him. The team didn’t love him. They probably thought he was a traitor now, which… was close enough to being true.

Lance hugged Lotor tighter.

He didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! A little late, I know, but it's here. I'm dead. 
> 
> SO i'm just going to say, I still put Keith/Lance in the tags for a reason, so don't jump to conclusions just yet. But, Lotor/Lance is also still a tag. Things will become more clear with time, but I didn't want to make this fic one where everything was really straight cut with Lance/Lotor- purely just torture, terror, etc. Don't get me wrong I fricken LOVE that type of stuff written between the two, but I just wanted to shake things up a little! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments!! I think I accidentally deleted some of them when I was checking things on my phone, so I'm really sorry if you've noticed- it's not that I hated them or anything, my thumb just slipped lol.


	5. His Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -warning for graphic violence/torture

Keith held Lance’s gaze. He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe Lance was there, standing next to Lotor, his arm around his,  _ hugging him _ . Like they were an actual couple. Like he wasn’t being forced into anything- like he actually wanted it. He stared at Lance longer, as the Cuban boy stared back, his eyes as blue as ever. His skin seemed to stand out against his stark white suit- it was Galra-style armour, but the colour wasn’t something he had seen them wear before. Did it have a special meaning? 

But Lance was there. Lance was alive. He wasn’t being chained up, or held in a dungeon… he looked almost happy. Did… did that mean that the video he had watched between them- had it been real? Real in a sense that he wasn’t forced, was he actually just surprised, like he had said? Wanted it? 

Part of Keith felt relieved, thinking that Lance hadn’t been raped, hopefully he wouldn’t suffer any trauma, but the other part… Keith had heard Lotor’s words- they had been almost threatening in their own way, but he had only been able to catch parts of it. The audio quality hadn’t been the greatest. He didn’t want Lance to be with Lotor. With their enemy. Even just thinking about the video  _ killed  _ Keith. Even now. Especially now.

Lance looked away. Keith could feel his heart drop, his gaze sadden. He watched as Lance’s grip of Lotor’s arm strengthened, and as he rested his head on his shoulder. He watched with disgust as Lotor leaned down to kiss him, chuckling. It felt like he needed to throw up. To break something, hurt something, just to feel something else. Keith felt betrayed. Lance didn’t even look back.

The Red Paladin watched as the two strolled out, still together, as if they were tied at the hip. Keith felt a wave of nausea hit him, and he doubled over, gagging. This couldn’t be happening- Lance wasn’t in the right mind, he had to be brainwashed or something, this wasn’t like him!

“Guys, I- I-”

His his was cut off by Allura’s message, which came blasting in through the telecom. “Keith! Keith! Get out of there- there’s two Galra headed right your way, and they’re going to spot you if you don’t hurry!”

“Oh shit.”

Keith felt a sudden wave of panic wash over him, as he peaked over the equipment he was hiding behind. Indeed, two Galra were headed straight his way, turning in through a nearby door. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he tried to focus,  drowning out all the thoughts he had about Lance and his disposition.

Taking in a breath, he started to crawl through the equipment, dodging various poles and pointy things sticking out. There had to be a way where he could escape unnoticed, right? Well, Keith didn’t really have a choice- it was that or risk jeopardizing the team.

Okay. He could see them in front of him- their backs were facing towards him, so if he was quiet it was possible that he could just slip by unnoticed.

Keith was just one foot away from the door, emerging from the equipment pile, when the edge of his foot caught on something sticking out. It banged loudly against it, sending  shoot pain up his foot. He froze. Had the Galrans heard? Slowly, Keith began to three in his mind, watching their body language, before- oh shit.

One looked his way, and he yanked his foot away, bolting down the hallway. Quietly swearing under his breath as Keith booked it, he could hear their footsteps and yells behind him, gaining on him. He needed to lose these guys, and fast.

Turning around a corner, he spotted a doorway- it looked small, smaller than the other doors he had seen around the base. If it was a broom closet, or empty room, it would be worth the chance. Quickly, Keith ran to it, pressing his hand up against the sensor. The door opened for him, and he slipped, in, smashing the button that closed the door on the other side.

Just in time, it seemed, the door shut. He could hear their booming footsteps run past him, then slowing to a stop just after. They spoke to each other for a minute in Galran, and Keith found himself holding his breath. If they found him he was dead. For sure- he wasn’t sure if he could handle two Galrans by himself like this, squished up in a dark closet.

The two argued some more, before thankfully, they seemed to run off again, presumably trying to follow his trail.

Keith let out a relieved sigh, his breaths coming in hard, his suit becoming sweaty and uncomfortable on the inside, but he didn’t care. He didn’t get caught, and that was all that mattered. However, Keith was more than sure that they had at least caught sight of his suit, which was a easy, tell tale way to be recognized. He needed to warn the team before it was too late.

“Guys, guys,”

“Oh, thank god, you’re alive. We heard Allura over the intercom practically screaming at you to get out of there.” It was Pidge, her voice a little shaky.

“Yeah, bro. We thought you were gone, for like, good.” Hunk added in.

“Okay, well, I’m alive, thanks- but I think they saw my suit, and also-”

“Oh shit, thanks for the warning Keith! We gotta blast though we’re getting a problem of our own!”

“Wait- I have to tell you!” 

They didn’t answer, and Keith knew he was too late. Swearing, he cursed himself.

They’d know soon enough that Lance was alive.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance found himself being tugged back into their room, the door shutting firmly behind him. Lotor tugged on him still, pulling them more into the room, which was large and open. Spacious. 

“So, how did you like our little tour, here, my little soldier?” Lotor’s breath was warm against his skin, as his lips just barely brushed past his neck, down under his jaw. Lance shivered, holding onto him.

“It was, ah, amazing, Lotor. So, big. How do you not get lost?”

Lotor chucked, burying his head deeper into Lance’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses down it. “I was the one who designed it, and had it built- this is my base, entirely  _ mine. _ Just like you.”

Nodding Lance sighed, moving his neck so the prince would have more skin to nip at. He stayed silent as Lotor picked him up, throwing him on the bed, finally kissing him. Lance kissed back, wrapping his arms around Lotor’s neck, his suit brushing against the prince’s.

They didn’t stop until a knock on the door interrupted them- Lance’s suit had been taken off, leaving him in just the thin undersuit. Lotor was the same, his own suit sticking to his body so that you could see every muscle, every curve.

Lotor grumbled as he got up, leaving Lance lying on the bed. He grabbed some pants and a shirt from a drawer nearby and pulled them on- Lance didn’t know he could still look so princely with his clothes thrown on so haphazardly.

“What do you want?” He said with a growl, as he swung open the door.

A Galra soldier stood there, it’s expression unreadable. It began to speak to him in Galran, which meant Lance was only able to pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. He felt himself tense up when he heard the word ‘Voltron,’ and ‘Paladins,’ along with ‘on board.’

Lotor’s replied curtly, and closed the door, his expression completely different than it had been just moments ago.  Lance stared at him with wide eyes, sitting up and drawing his legs close to him as the prince walked slowly towards him.

“So, I heard that team Voltron has infiltrated our base. They’re currently running wild through our hallways, most likely looking for information to steal.” He reached the bed, looming over it, his white hair falling over his shoulders. “Did you know anything about this?”

Immediately Lance’s mind flashed to seeing Keith, hiding behind equipment back in the hangar. He remembered how long they held eye contact for, and how he felt as though a million emotions were running through him at once. Lance looked up at Lotor, swallowing hard. He shook his head no.

“Lies!”

The Blue Paladin felt hands grip around his feet, dragging him closer to the angry prince, then something hard slap across his face. He gasped for air as he felt the scorching hot pain spread across his cheek, his body flinching, trying to get away. A bruise was already beginning to form, bright and red, swelling.

“You will not lie to me! Ever!” Lotor’s voice had grown to a yell, as one hand still griped Lance’s foot firmly, the other raised to hit him again. He stopped midway, eyeing Lance hard.

“Get up and kneel on the floor.” 

Lance nodded quickly, scrambling off of the bed, tears stinging his eyes. He kneeled on the floor, in front of Lotor.

“Turn around, and face your back to me. Stay there while I grab something.”  

Swallowing hard, he did as he was told, shuffling around so that he was facing the right way, and waiting for Lotor to return. His heart beat hard in his chest, the pain in his cheek still throbbing. Tears threatened to drip from his eyes, but he tried to keep himself as composed as possible.

He could hear Lotor’s footsteps approaching him again, and Lance felt himself tense, hands reaching his back, pulling down the zipper of his suit. Cold air pressed against his spine, and he felt himself shiver, feeling exposed.

There was a loud crack in the air, and he felt something searing hit his back. It made him scream, digging into his flesh before being pulled away, only to crack again and land on a different spot.

Lance sobbed, he could feel his body shake as he kneeled there, Lotor whipping him from behind. His whole body felt like it was on fire, as constant lashes rained down on his back, across his shoulders, lapping up his neck. He could feel the warm trickle of blood, flowing down freely and dripping onto the floor. Lance shook, begging, pleading for Lotor to stop, saying he’d never lie again, he’d be perfect for him, he’d do anything.

“I pr-promise-  _ ah! _ I just saw a glimpse of them, and I wasn’t even sure if it was them, I’m so, so, sorry, Lotor.. Lotor, stop, please, I love you, only you!” Lance could barely choke out his words.

The whip stilled. Lotor held it in his hand as he looked over Lance, his eyes still cold, hard. The boy’s back was raw, gashes littered across it, all bleeding, merging, swollen. He raised it one more time to hit him, before yet another knock at his door stilled him. Curling it up in his hand, Lotor went to the door, opening it, speaking to whoever was at the door.

Lance tensed when he walked over again, bracing himself for another hit. He was not met with one.

“I hope you reflect over your mistakes- I must leave to handle some things- don’t even think about leaving.” Lotor’s voice was cruel in his ear, as he dropped the whip at Lance’s side, going to put his suit on.

The door closed shut, and Lance was left alone in the room, silent, pain radiating throughout him.

They were still there. The team. Keith. His eyes burned into Lance’s mind, the shape, the colour, the expression, he remembered it perfectly, the way they stared at him, the emotion in them. It was if they matched what he was feeling.

Lance struggled to his feet, wincing, wobbling. He felt faint, weak. He looked at the ground, seeing the blood pooling underneath him. It was okay. He was going to feel fine- he’d been through worse. All his limbs worked fine.

The one thing that ran through his mind was that he had to see Keith again- even if it meant disobeying Lotor. Something tugged deep inside of him, willing him, urging him, and he couldn’t ignore it.  

Struggling forward, Lance reached the drawer, he dug through it, finding a shirt. It was large, and white, but it covered him enough. Drawing in a breath, he walked to the door, reaching out to it’s handle. Turning it, he opened the door, finding it unlocked. His legs shook as he stepped through.

He’d find Keith. He needed to see him, even if he didn’t understand why. Lotor’s words rung in his head.

What would happen if he got caught?

 

* * *

Keith had tried his best to find out where Lance and Lotor had gone. Even after getting chased, and losing them, he knew that he needed to try and see where they were going. Where they were staying maybe, what was going on. His heart pounded in his chest as he rounded another corner- his helmet had been turned off. Having Allura and Shiro constantly yelling at him, telling him to turn back, to abort the mission was distracting. He knew that he was disobeying orders, but he didn’t care.

_ He had seen Lance. _

And now, he was going to see him again.

Keith stilled as he neared another corner, peaking around it carefully. His heart leapt in his chest when he saw Lotor standing there, talking to a soldier. Anger quickly bubbled up, and Keith had to restrain himself, keep himself from drawing his sword and slashing the prince down right then and there. No. He could do something more useful.

He turned on the listening device, crouching down against the wall.

Listening, recording everything, Keith could feel himself tense. They were talking about him, and the team. About how they had come onto the ship, and how they were trying to get it under control, but since the place was so big, and the numbers were on the fewer side, they were having troubles actually locating them. He stilled as Lotor replied, his tone icy, commanding. The soldier walked away, in the opposite direction, and Keith listened as the door shut.

Was that where Lotor and Lance were staying? Keith perked up, and he moved in a little closer, upping the settings so he could hear better.

His blood went cold. He could hear a crack, and something hitting skin- Lance’s cries, screams and sobs. It felt like his body was going numb, as he recorded, breathing hard. He was being tortured. Whipped. Beaten, bruised. Lance’s voice, and begging went through his helmet loud and clear, and Keith could hardly stand it. He wanted to tear it off, to get the sounds away from him, to barge in and save Lance, but he knew he couldn’t.

He was useless.

Keith crouched there, frozen, for what seemed like ages, before actual words pulled him out of his trance. Lotor was leaving. To solve the issue. Keith tensed, pressing himself harder against the wall. He knew he was hidden from view, but it was still terrifying knowing that such a monster was getting ready to leave.

Listening as he heard the door open, and shut, then angry footsteps walking away, Keith let out a sigh. He was gone. For a little while, at least. And Lance was in there, hurt, probably bleeding. Keith had to go in there to make sure he was alright- to make sure he wasn’t dying.  

He checked his surroundings, listening hard to make sure that nobody else was around. When the coast seemed to be clear, Keith left his hiding spot, making his way towards the door, before it opened, surprising him.

Lance stood there, his hair sticking to the back of his neck with sweat, the right side of his face swollen, red, his lip cut and bleeding. He looked terrified, as water pooled in his eyes. Keith drew in a breath as he saw the back of  his white shirt sticking to his back, red stains quickly spreading.

“L-Lance,” he choked, taking a step closer.

The Cuban boy jumped, shocked, tense. He looked ready to scramble away, to go and hide, like a hurt animal, but he turned towards the familiar voice, his hands shaking.

“Keith,” he breathed.  

It looked like Lance was about to go and walk over to hug him, but he stopped frozen, his brows furrowed, his legs looking like Jelly. “C-come, inside…”

Keith almost didn’t catch what he was saying, so taken back by the boy’s appearance, how he was acting, but he stepped forward still, following the boy back inside the room. He gasped when he saw what was on the floor- his blood, and the whip curled up right beside it.

“He… he did this to you.”

He couldn’t believe this was happening. That he was actually facing Lance after all this time, seeing him like this, so different, so… broken.

Lance nodded, shrugging a little. “I did something bad,” was all that he said, glancing down at the blood, before looking back at Keith again. Their eyes locked, and they couldn’t seem to tear them away.

Keith felt anger surge through him, as his fists curled up into tight balls. Lance couldn’t stay here. Couldn’t stay with that monster, who tortured and abused him. He had been kidnapped, stolen, and he needed to go back to his team.

“Come back with me. I’ll get you of of here, Lance, I promise. You’ll get through this, you’ll be safe again.” Keith’s voice was barely a whisper, as he stepped towards the boy, his hand reaching out to brush across his swollen cheek. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you like this again.” 

The boy let out a breath, tensing as Keith touched his cheek, wanting to step back. But he didn’t, he stood there, staring at him. He looked conflicted, but Keith didn’t know why.

“You’ll be able to go back home to your family, someday if you come with us.”

Something in Lance’s expression changed, and he stepped back. Tears pooled in his eyes, threatening to break loose.

“ _ I can’t  _ Keith, you don’t understand! It’s… it’s not as simple as that.” His voice wavered. A sob wracked through his body.

“Why not? Voltron will keep you safe, Lance! You’ll never have to see Lotor’s face again!” Keith found his voice raising, “You’ll never be tortured,  _ raped  _ again- I saw what he did to you! What you did with him the first time!” He didn’t realize that there was a level of scorn going through his words.

Lance stook another step back, wincing. He looked horrified, upset, hurt, torn, all at once.

“You… saw that? Saw me, with, with him?” 

Keith nodded, his arms folding. “I did. He sent us a video, but I was the only one who watched it, the only one who knows about it.”  He decided  to Leave Coran’s name out of it, for the sake of keeping Lance calm.

Another flash of emotion went through Lance, and he opened his mouth to say something, before freezing, looking at the door. He looked back at Keith, his eyes wide, pleading. “You have to leave. Lotor’s going to be here any minute, and if he sees you here, we’re both dead. Go. Leave. Forget about me Keith- I’m okay. I’m not as far off as you may think- you guys can form Voltron without me. Just let me go, okay? Forget. Just… if you ever see my family, tell them that I love them.”  A tear dripped down his cheek, and he wiped it away, moving forward to shove Keith out.

Keith felt tears prick his eyes, as he started to walk out, looking back at Lance. “We won’t give you up. You’ll be saying that to your family in person.”

With that, he turned, slipping out of the door, leaving Lance in silence.

Keith turned back on his helmet.

“Okay, I’m heading out now guys.” 

 

* * *

Keith sat down with everyone else, back on the ship, his head in his hands as the recordings he had gathered were being replayed back to everyone. Lance’s voice, his screams, all echoed throughout the room, and Keith wasn’t sure he could handle it. Wasn’t sure he could handle the fact that he had  _ left Lance on that base with a monster. _

Hunk’s sobs were almost as loud as the recording. He didn’t seem to be taking it well, but to be fair, nobody was. Pidge cried along with him, Allura clutching Coran’s arm, burying her face into it, while Shiro sat down, his eyes glazed over, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

A wash of dread went over Keith- why had he done that? Why hadn’t he just grabbed Lance, took him whether he liked it or not? Why did he leave? Tears dripped down his face, landing on the floor. His fists were curled up into balls again. He raised his head. He had to tell them.

“I-I saw Lance too.” Keith began, sniffing. “I went into his room after that- we, we talked. I  _ tried  _ to convince him to come with me, to leave, but… he just wouldn’t. He said that I didn’t understand, that he was okay, but… You guys- there was pools of his blood on the ground, his face, it looked like it had been hit… I could see the stains in his shirt on his back.  _ I don’t know why he wouldn’t come. _ I.. I failed…” His voice trailed off, as he heaved, bile rising in his throat. “He asked me to tell his family that he loved them.”

Everybody stared at Keith, different arrays of horror on their face. He felt a hand press against his back- it was Shiro. The older man looked broken, bags under his eyes, but he just sighed. “You did everything you could, Keith. We don’t know what’s going on right now, but… you did everything right. We know where Lance is now, know where he’s staying. We’re going to get him back.”

Hunk rose, standing beside Keith, fat tears still leaking from his eyes. “Y-Yeah, Keith, we’re going to get him, we will. We- we’ll have a party when he comes back. I’ll c-cook”

Keith drew a breath in, as everybody rose to surround him, hug, him, make him feel better. But he didn’t. Dread surged through his body, his stomach flipping, flopping, a lump in his throat. They all wanted Lance back. They all had hope, thought that Lance would be back with them within days, weeks, but Keith knew better. Things weren’t as simple as that- the way Lance spoke to him showed it so clearly.

“I don’t know if Lance wants to come back.” Keith whispered.

Hunk, and the rest drew back, surprised by his words. “What? Don’t be stupid Keith- of course he wants to come back,” Pidge hiccuped, her eyes red and puffy. Hunk nodded along with her. “I know Lance. He’d want to come back.” Allura murmured her agreement.

Coran and Shiro stayed silent along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh here we go boys here we go. I feel so bad for Lance. He has to go through so much, oml. I'm so sorry. I've just realized that there's been a lot more Keith POV's, hasn't there? Do you guys like that, or no? 
> 
> I think you guys would like to know that I ate an entire bag of kettle corn while writing this. It was good. 
> 
> So yeah, Lance/Lotor are having some problems. Not nice. But what will happen?


	6. A Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -warning for vomiting

Shiro rubbed his temples. He couldn’t believe that today was the 6 month anniversary of Lance being captured. So long for him to be held captive. To be tortured- he remembered vividly his own time in the hands of the Galra, and his metal arm served as a reminder every day. 

But he knew Lance wasn’t being tortured in the same way he was- isolated and alone. Shiro knew about Lotor- the branding, the manipulation, and now… the video. Keith had told him about it. He wasn’t able to show him, (Shiro wasn’t sure if he even wanted to see it) because he had deleted it, but he told Shiro all about it, in a fit of anger and frustration. The older man could still hear his words ringing in ears, loud, clear and emotional.

The delay to save Lance was taking a toll on everyone. Guilt spread throughout the castle like wildfire, but with Lotor’s attacks increasing on them, always seeming to find them, wherever they went, it was impossible for the team to stop for a second to gather their thoughts on what they were going to do, much less actually go to the planet where Lance was. It was hard, devastating even, knowing perfectly well where their Blue Paladin was, but never having the chance to actually go get him.

But, Shiro knew that the person who was hurting the most was Keith. He was the one who saw things, who was there to hear Lance scream, who actually got to see him afterwards. His brooding was more intensified, he trained harder every night, was more fueled on the battlefield. There seemed to be something changing within Keith, but Shiro couldn’t tell if it was for the good, or bad. All everyone needed now was for Lance to came back.

So, if that meant fighting thousands of fighter ships, or even going against Lotor himself, Shiro knew that the team would do it.

 

* * *

Keith could hear his blood pounding, his eyes laser focused on the window in front of him, as his Lion rolled and dived with each shot, avoiding the beams of light coming back at him. It was if his hands were moving on their own, his mind going almost blank as he fought, so in the moment. This was the biggest fleet they had ever fought so far- everybody was struggling a little, especially Allura, who was taking Lance’s place for the mean time, but they seemed to be winning. The amount that came at them were growing smaller and smaller, less shots being shot. Finally, there seemed to be none left.

“Guys- I think we’ve cleared them!” Keith spoke into his helmet, hearing everyone cheer back.

“Seems so,” Shiro replied, “Team, let’s head back to debrief- we have a lot to talk about”

Keith listened as the team agreed, Hunk and Pidge sounding excited. Allura, too- he could tell from the way her voice got higher that she was thrilled. For the first while, she really struggled with Blue, not being able to control her properly, slowing down everybody, but recently she seemed to have been getting better and better- she even unlocked a new ability.  A pang of guilt went through Keith. It wasn’t Allura who was supposed to be bonding with Blue, figuring her out- it was Lance. Should they really be this happy?

He shook his head. They were only happy because this meant they could go save him.

Turning his Lion around, Keith prepared to head back to the ship with the rest of his teammates. He was totally unaware of another enemy ship sneaking right behind them- it shot out, hitting Keith’s lion strain on, causing it to spin out of control, rocking the raven-haired boy around on the inside.

“Oh shit- guys, there’s another one behind us!” Pidge yelled over the telecom, “Keith, are you okay?!”

The boy gritted his teeth, still spinning- the blast had hit him and his Lion pretty hard. “I’ll be fine,” he grumbled, “just get that bastard who shot me!”  

The battle quickly grew from there. Keith was finally able to get control of his Lion, stopping and directing it to face the same way, finally getting a good look at who had hit him. It wasn’t no normal fighter- the ship was different, a bit larger, more dynamic. He could tell that it was powerful. Narrowing his eyes, he thrusted his first forward, his Lion leaping into action.  

Quick, was a more accurate word. Whoever was piloting that ship had to be well trained- their reflexes seemed impeccable, and they had an accurate shot. Hunk had wanted to go into Voltron to stop it, but Pidge and Shiro had pointed out that it was too quick to take on in Voltron’s size- they’d have to outwit whoever was piloting it, 5 on 1.

Keith could feel sweat drip down his forehead as he concentrated, dodging and shooting- he knew that everyone was starting to slow down. A lot of their energy had been spent on getting rid of the fleet before them, and now it felt as if this guy was just toying with them. He gritted his teeth as another shot hit him, barrelling one right back. It surprisingly hit the opponent’s wing, sending it back. But just as always, it righted itself out, zooming back into action.

“We have to overwhelm this guy to get the upperhand!|  Keith yelled, circling in, “Otherwise it’ll be too fast for us to catch!”

“Keith’s right- everybody try to surround this guy, and on my count we’ll shoot!” Shiro replied, steering his lion forward- it was as large as ever, having appeared virtually unscathed.

The team started lining up, zooming forward, trying to keep them surrounded- though it was difficult, they managed.  

 

* * *

Shiro’s plan had gone well. They had managed to chase their opponent away, their ship badly damaged. Allura’s last shot had frozen up the side of it’s wing, rendering it useless to dodge and attack as it used to. Everybody had taken shot at it afterwards, before it managed to slip past them, zooming away. Keith had wanted to follow it, to blow it up, whoever was in there, but Shiro had stopped him. Their own Lions were hurting, and everybody had grown exhausted. It had only taken a few of Shiro's word’s before Keith realized he was too.

Everybody collapsed on the couches and chairs in the common space, (why Allura and Coran never called it the common room was yet to be questioned) eyes drooping, limbs falling.

“That was the longest. Battle. Ever.” Pidge whined, her little body draped across an arm chair. “Whoever decided to send out that many fighters deserves to die, literally.”

“It was a lot,” Shiro admitted, sitting down on one of the couches, leaning back against it. “But we did some major damage- we all should be proud of ourselves. We worked as a team out there.”

Keith felt himself flinch at Shiro’s words- a team? Sure, they were one, but they were broken. Lance wasn’t there- how could they work well without him. Glaring at his leader, Keith cleared his throat. “We’re not a team if we don’t have Lance,  _ Shiro _ . Shouldn’t we be planning how to get him back now that we’ve pushed back against them hard enough that we’ll have enough time? No more praise- we need to look at what needs to be done.” He was surprised to hear his words come so coldly out of his mouth. Keith knew he wasn’t the most friendly of guys, but… never had he acted like this.

Coran looked at Keith funny, with ginger eyebrows furrowed as he gazed across each Paladin, seeing how tired everyone was. They all wanted Lance back, but they needed to rest as well.

Shiro visibly winced, turning his head away. His voice seemed to grow softer, more subdued. “Of course… Lance is a part of us. We’ll start planning now.”

Crossing his arms, Keith leaned back against his own chair, feeling the familiar ache of exhaustion coursing through his body. “Good let's get this done and then find Lance.” 

* * *

 

Lance sat in his chair, leaned up against it, a small Galran children’s book in his hand. He read through it, flipping the pages slowly as he mumbled the words under his breath, switching them to Spanish, then to English a few times before moving on. After all the months he had been studying the language, his hard work seemed to be starting to pay off. He could now hold conversations with Lotor, though small, and with limited vocabulary, but it was certainly something.

Being able to understand what the guards were saying under their breath when he and Lotor passed made him flinch, but he was glad to know anyways. Glad to hear every word and be smug about it, now knowing how jealous they were of his relationship with the prince. Though, he never let on that he knew, holding an innocent face, clutching onto his prince every time they passed.

He flipped another page, looking at the pictures- a battle was going on, before lifting his head to the familiar sound of the sliding door.

Lotor walked through, his under suit still on, hair disheveled, a bloody lip and blooming bruise standing out on on his face. Lance’s smile turned into a frown as he put the book down, getting up to go to his prince.

“What happened?” The boy questioned, reaching the taller man, his soft hands coming up to gently touch the wounds. “Do you want me to call a medic? Or patch clean your lip?” 

Lotor shooed his hands away, looking down. He seemed to be in a bad mood, but still managed to give Lance a small smile. “A battle, that’s all. My ship malfunctioned- it’s nothing to worry about. But do you know what I really want?” He leaned down, giving Lance a deep kiss. “You.”

Lance’s eyes widened as he looked up at the prince, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “Okay.”

 

* * *

Lance laid in Lotor’s arms hours later, his chest bare against the other’s skin. Lotor’s hand lazily stroked his back as he nestled in closer, sighing. Who had given Lotor those injuries? Lance had a suspicion that is was Votlron- after all, he was sure that was the only enemy Lotor was fighting at the moment. His stomach twinged at the thought of his former teammates, fighting against the person he was currently laying in bed with.

Did they ever think about Lance? Wonder about him? He slowly shook his head, sighing. Probably not- after all, it had been six months since… he left. Three months since he last saw one of them, and after that, there was no communication between them whatsoever. It seemed as though Keith had taken Lance’s advice, and just forgot about him. Lance hoped that if they ever got the chance, they would tell his family that he loved him. 

After all, he didn’t think Lotor would ever take him to earth. Nor would he ever ask.

The lashes on his back had healed- scarred, but healed. Lotor had stroked them once, telling Lance how beautiful each and every one of them was, how he was glad he was the only one that had given him the scars, and how he’d be the only one to ever touch him like that. His had given Lance a warning,  and he knew deep down, more than ever, that to obey was to be loved.

Lotor shifted, causing Lance to look up, concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his brows knitting.

The prince laughed, sitting up fully. “I almost forgot- your body entices me too much. I’ve come up for a job for you.”

Lance perked up- a job? It was something he had asked for about a month or so ago, quickly growing bored staying in the room all day, waiting for Lotor to return. His training was going amazingly now- he was on par with most of the Galran guards now,  going through strict simulations, and using his gun with deadly precision. Now, all he needed was a chance to use his training- to be useful. Even if it was just a lowly job, something to do, to make him feel fulfilled would be nice.  “What is it?”

Wrapping his arm around Lance again, Lotor began to explain. “This planet we’re on- it’s inhabited. The local kingdom, it’s quite large and powerful, and to have them on our side would be quite an asset. However, they’re a little tricky to work with, but I need to be able to have their full loyalty, not just fear and intimidation. As you know, that quickly leads people to rebel at any given part. I would think that your image- a non-galran, would allow them to warm up to us. I have scheduled a meeting for you to meet with their king the day after tomorrow- I’ll make sure you’re acquainted with their customs and traditions, as to not offend anybody.”

Lance’s eyes grew wide- he didn’t think Lotor would give him something so important. Leaning up against the bedframe, the sheets falling slightly from his skin, he stuttered. “P-prince, I’m… honoured. I won’t... I won’t let you down.”

Lotor leaned down, kissing the Cuban boy. “I know you won’t- you’re _ my  _ soldier. I want to see you wearing the armour I gave you again.”

Lance leaned into him, pressing his cheek against Lotor’s warm skin. “I do too. I want to go out, to prove myself. I can do this. I know I can.”

The prince chuckled, pressing another warm kiss onto the side of Lance’s jaw. A smirk came across his face, and turned over, lifting himself, so that he was straddling him. The blanket slowly slipped down off of Lotor’s back as he pushed Lance against the bed, starting to leave marks on the boy’s caramel coloured skin.

Lance sighed, leaning back, thinking about the days to come.

 

* * *

 

Shiro’s plan had begun to spring into action. They were down on the planet where they had last seen Lance- where they were sure Lotor had been. The plan was to go to the locals who were were deemed semi-friendly by Coran and Allura. They just had to avoid all of the food and water given, as all of it was laced with a drug toxic to the human system, but harmless to most other species. Yrlax, they were called- from what Keith could tell, they were a lot like a weird type of fox, that stood on it’s hind legs. Definitely a little mischievous, but graceful in their own right.

All five of them walked down the busy streets, following a map to the palace that Coran had provided for them. They wanted to speak to the king, or one of the higher ups- they’d talk about voltron, and how they would help them, and if they’d seen Lotor, or any sign of Lance. It was a shot in the dark, but Pidge, Coran and Allura seemed to think that it would work.

While Keith had his doubts, he knew that he had to stick with his team, even if he wanted to run off and go solo.

The crowd parted slightly for them as they continued to walk, grouped together- the peaks of the palace could be seen, rising tall, the peaks twisting, phthalo blue at the tops, twisting town into turquoise, then to a cool regal gray. He could see a faint light emanating from them, pulsing like a heartbeat. With a few more minutes of walking, the street quickly opened up, the stone path turning to marble as the Paladins stopped in front of the gigantic building.

It stood tall, looming in front of them. Keith looked up at it, crossing his arms. He hoped that the king, or whoever they were going to see would be reasonable- voltron had it’s fair share of running into unenthusiastic leaders, or civilizations that simple just didn’t want them there. Hopefully, things would be different here.

Allura took the first steps up the regal marble stairs, crossing the columns that held the building up. Quickly guards blocked her way, large spear-like objects pointed towards her. She took her time announcing herself, explaining who she was, and who she was with. The guards seemed skeptical at first, but when she let it be known that she was actually the princess of Altea, something seemed to job in their memory and they looked surprised. Clicking to each other, in what Keith could only assume as their native language, they stepped aside, allowing the princess to pass.

“It’s safe to come inside,” Allura called back, waving her hand. “The king will see us.”

Shiro stepped up first, Keith following straight behind him- Hunk and Pidge seemed hesitant for half a second, but they quickly followed.

The inside of the palace seemed even more grand than the outside. Marble, swirled with gold, pale grey and the same blues and turquoise stood underneath their feet, pulsing in the same way Keith had seen before. Large stairs led up to a throne room, heavily guarded by soldiers, who let them pass hesitantly. 

Allura reached out her hand to knock three times (apparently it was a custom,) before the large doors opened before them, revealing a large throne room, the king, who looked about 5 times larger than any of the other Yrlax sitting on a large throne, and... someone in white writhing on the floor.

“What the… who is that?” Hunk said aloud, his eyes squinting, as he took a step back.

“Dunno- one of the Galra?” Pidge answered, as she bit her lip, looking again.

Keith felt his stomach drop. He recognized that white armour.  “It’s Lance.” His voice came out as barely a whisper, before his mind caught up with him. “ _ Lance!” _

Bolting towards him, Keith dropped to his knees, grabbing out to the boy, who was twisting and turning on the ground. He grabbed a hold of his helmet, holding it still- Lance’s eyes were rolled back, and his mouth was frothing. Gasping, Keith tore the helmet off, just quick enough for the Lance to turn to his side, vomiting aggressively.   

“Holy shit, it is Lance!” Pidge hissed, running forward to help Keith.

The rest of the team followed en suite, surrounding him, gaping at the boy they hadn’t seen for 6 months- the boy who was vomiting, blood spotting the pools of bile he puked up.

“There’s something wrong with him!” Keith shouted, his voice breaking. “He was poisoned- we have to get him out of here!” His head turned to the king, who was watching, his beady little eyes glinting at the scene. “What did you do to him?!”

“I simply offered him a drink, as per custom to the Galarn empire.” The king rumbled, his voice deep, low.

“You poisoned him! Human’s can’t drink your drinks it’s deathly!” Keith was almost hysterical at this point, his fingers gripping Lance’s head- he looked ready to murder.

“I was simply following customs. Whether or not that human can survive them is none of my concern.”

Keith snapped, getting up- his sword formed in his hand, ready to attack, before Shiro pulled him back. “Enough!” The older man growled, “we have to get Lance out of here, before he dies.”

That seemed to calm the red paladin down, as he turned to look at the cuban boy, his brown skin growing paler and paler within the minute- he still shook, but he seemed weaker. “Let’s go. We’ll get him back to the castle and… he’ll… he’ll be alright.”

Shiro nodded and bent down to pick Lance up, holding him strong in his arms. He didn’t even react when Lance puked again, down the front of his suit, only gritting his teeth and walking out, back faced towards the king whose eyes glittered.

 

* * *

Hunk cried the whole way back to the castle, holding Lance’s hand, gripping it, never letting go. When they boarded the castle, Lance had began to vomit straight blood and bile, acid burning up his throat and filling his nose. Coran had taken one look at him, tears filling his eyes, before getting straight to work, grabbing all the antitoxins he could, and some sort of Altean machine that acted as a stomach pump.

The whole team watched as the machine went to work, attaching to his mouth and two major veins, pulling out all of the harmful substance from Lance’s stomach and bloodstream- when it was done, the boy sunk to the floor, unconscious. At that point, Coran shooed everyone away- he had to put the boy in the pods, to allow any residue to be sucked out of his body, and to help accelerate the healing process to his organs that had been damaged. That meant taking off his armour and undersuit, to put on the medical suit.

He had gasped when he saw the scars littered across Lance’s back, pink, still fresh, and deep. A tear had trickled down Coran’s face as he saw the brand on his hip first hand, jutting out raid against his skin, marring it for life. The pods wouldn’t take it away- they couldn’t heal scar tissue. 

When he had the suit on Lance, and had him safely put in the pods, did he invite everyone back in. It would be  a three day waiting game before any of them could speak to him. 

 

* * *

Lance felt something pull him out of his dreams- his dreams of being back home, safe and sound, in his mother’s arms. Siblings surrounding him, hugging him from behind, climbing up him. Oh, how he wished to dive back into that dream, and to never leave, but there was a sliding noise in front of him, and his eyes fluttered open.

Everything was blurry and blotched by large black dots, as he fell forward, stumbling on his feet. Into someone’s arms. Lance could feel the hard wall of muscle in front of his, hands wrapping against his back.

“Lotor?”

Somebody replied, but he couldn’t quite recognize what they were saying. He blinked again, looking forward, at a wall. No. This wasn’t Lotor- they were shorter, and… it didn’t feel like him. Finally his vision cleared, and he looked at whoever was hugging him. Hair tickled his nose.  Black hair….

“...Keith?” Lance whispered, his voice hoarse, splitting. “Is that you?”

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and Lance watched as more people filed in- people he recognized, remembered.

Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, Allura… Coran. 

He felt an overwhelming sensation take over him, and Lance took a step back. Where was he? He was supposed to be back with Lotor by know! Surely his prince would be furious that he wasn’t there by now- late, and probably looking for him. How hard would he be punished for this? He didn’t want to be whipped again. Or tazed again. Or cut again. He hated when his lover was upset with him, and Lance felt an overwhelming desire to curl up and hide away, somewhere. He needed to get back to Lotor.

When Lance stepped back, Keith looked up at him, tears glittering his eyes. His nose was red, and his cheeks were splotched, black hair messy with bed-head. Lance looked at the ground, seeing a blanket and pillow next to his pod. How long had he been in there? He looked back up at Keith, his body beginning to shake. The others grew closer to them, Hunk’s loud sobs filling the room. Allura wiped at her eyes, tears dripping from them as Pidge clutched onto Hunk, freely allowing herself to cry.

“... I thought I told you to forget about me, Keith. Why am I here? I need to go back.” Lance spoke, his voice shaky, quiet.

Keith stared at him, shaking.

“I said we wouldn’t forget about you.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG GUYS I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY. Things got so caught up for me, it's unreal. You should probably expect updates like this from me once school starts, because I'll be pretty busy, but otherwise.... 
> 
> They got Lance back!!!! But... how does he feel about it? His relationship with Lotor seems to have intensified a little in the past three months- so how is he going to feel about being away from him? How's Lotor going to react? Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out, lol. Lotor and Lance's relationship is something I want to be confusing. Is it bad, is it good? I want it to be a little hard to tell, and for you guys to have your own views on it. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it!!! As always, I love all of your comments, they're always so sweet! Criticism is welcome too, lmao, I can take it.


	7. His Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -warning for swearing and violence  
> -mentions of rape

Lance was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by seeing the team surround him, by Keith, who was gripping his shoulder, by all the sobs, the tears. Why were they acting like this? He wasn’t supposed to be a part of them anymore- only a distant memory, their only relation to him as something of the past- they only had to tell his family that he loved them. So why was he here now, in unfamiliar clothing, back at the place where he felt so much pain? Why couldn’t he be back at the base, with Lotor?

He felt a twinge in his stomach, thinking about Lotor. Lance had obviously failed him, failed the only mission his Prince had given him- how could he be so stupid? He knew he’d have to make it up to him, make it up for him being here, as well. Lance was Lotor’s, and Lotor’s only. That was his only loyalty.

Swallowing uncomfortably, Lance looked around the room. It was silent, you could hear a pin drop. After the few words he and Keith had exchanged, everybody was looking at him, hope filling their chests, rising up into their eyes. What were they so hopeful for? That he’d come back, happier than ever,  ready to take on the world, defeat Zarkon? Bile rose up into his throat. No, how would they react when they realized that he was sleeping with Zarkon’s son? Had a connection with him- _loved_ him.

They might as well just throw him out now. He was useless to them, Lance was lost here, on the castle that he once knew.

It was silent for a few more moments before Allura spoke up, her voice a little hoarse. “I think I speak for everybody when I say that we’re so, _so,_ glad that you’re back Lance. We’ve been so worried about you for these past few phoebs, I just…” she trailed off, seeming lost for words, something quite strange for the princess.

Lance swallowed hard, nodding his head silently, unsure of what to say. Keith continued to grip his shoulder, making him uncomfortable with the contact- that was something only Lotor could do.

Shiro stepped forward next, the look on his face crestfallen, guilt flooding through his eyes. “Lance, I- I can’t say how sorry I am, for, for leaving you there like that, for so long. I know what it’s like being kept a prisoner for so long, and… it’s unacceptable for me to have left things like that, both as a person, and your leader. I, I am so, so sorry.” His voice was husky his words leaving his mouth thickly. Lance could see the tears pricking the taller man’s eyes.

He pulled his mouth into a tight smile, slowly nodding towards Shiro, unable to say anything. What could Lance say? Oh, I forgive you for abandoning me, leaving me to die, because I’m here now. No. He didn’t want to be here. Lance wasn’t supposed to be here.

Hunk started babbling something, fat tears dropping onto the floor. Lance looked towards him, feeling something twist in his stomach. This was his best friend. He went through the garrison with him, talked about his crushes with him, played wingman with him when they snuck into a club that one night. He remembered the way Hunk patted and rubbed his back as Lance threw up into the toilet that night, to hammered to do anything else. Their friendship had been real, deep, all the way to the core. But now, even as the teen came forward to hug him, Lance could feel that something had changed. He didn’t feel like he could rely on him anymore. Didn’t feel like he could rely on anyone, except for Lotor anymore.

Pidge came forward after Hunk had released him, taking his hands into her small little ones, tears trickling down her cheek. She said she was so sorry, about everything, and how bad she felt about not being able to find his location fast enough. Lance patted her back, muttering something soothing towards her, before sending her back to Hunk. Lance noticed that the two seemed to be closer than before. Maybe that was a good thing.

Lance took another step back, and Keith returned to his side- it was as if the red paladin was his personal guard or something. He wanted to shake him off, to shake the whole team off of him, to be alone with his thoughts, but Lance knew that he couldn’t do that right now. He remained silent, taking in everyone else’s words, his fists curled up into little balls to keep himself under control. Lance noticed Allura step forward a little.

“Well, Lance, how… how do you feel? Do you require anything?”

How did he feel? Lance knew how he felt. He felt lost, angry, upset, uneasy. He felt like there was a storm going on inside of him, and the only way to calm it was to leave. To go back to his lover. The one that cared for him. Clenching his teeth, he looked towards the ground. Keith nudged him a little, pushing him forward. Lance felt himself snap.

“How do I feel?” His voice was cold- Allura took a step back, surprised. “I feel like I’ve been plucked away from the only place where I felt needed. I feel lost, I feel upset, confused, conflicted- why am I back here? You don’t need me anymore, Allura,” he jerked his thumb towards her, his face blank, “Is the blue paladin now, isn’t she? You guys are doing great. I’ve heard about you. I’ve seen you and the prince fight. So why am I back here after six months of being somewhere else? Why haven’t you guys just forgotten about me, left me be? I was doing fine.”

Lance’s words took everybody by surprise, but there was a flash of knowing in Coran’s eyes, that also reflected in Shiro- they must have known. Keith knew.

“What do you mean, Lance,” Allura questioned, her voice slow, careful. “You’ve always been our blue paladin- I was just a replacement until you returned. You’re needed here, just like everyone else, so why are you feeling this way? Surely your time being imprisoned by Lotor was unpleasant? We- we know about what he did to you, the whipping, the t-torture… so, why, _why_ do you want to go back?” She sounded confused.

“Yeah, why do you want to go back, Lance?” Keith spoke up, his voice deep, different than it had been before. Jealous, almost, hurt, in a way. “After he did all that to you? You have _scars,_ now Lance, he _branded_ you, burned his mark into your skin. He did all that shit to you, and yet, you want to go back? What’s wrong with you- did he brainwash you, or something? Did he poison you? Oh wait, he already did that.”

Lance looked at Keith, feeling anger boil up inside of him. He had no idea what Lance had gone through, both on the castle and in the hands of Lotor. His fists clenched, his nails digging deep into his own skin. He could feel the tips of his ears get red, as Lance looked towards Keith, his blue eyes storming.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about Keith. You don’t know me, you don’t know what’s going through my head. Lotor _loves_ me, he’s the only fucking person who’s ever _cared_ about me since we’ve been shot out into space, and yeah, he might have done some fucked up things, but I fucked up then, too. It was better staying with him, than being on this fucking castle.”

Keith pushed his hands against Lance’s chest, his dark eyes glittering with anger, and… something else. “What do you mean being on this castle? It’s your home! Why don’t you just want to be with us, Lance!”

“You know why, Keith! Because nobody fucking wanted, or wants me here! Before I was left to die, mind you, nobody would talk to me anymore- save for maybe Coran. As soon as I would walk into a room, everybody would clear out like I was a fucking virus, every time I opened my mouth to say something I was always told to shut up, because ‘now’s not the time to make jokes Lance, stop flirting with Allura, Lance!’” Lance took a shallow breath, his face growing redder and redder.

“ I was trying to help! You guys thought of me as weak, so I started to train- and I got far. Farther than any of you- and the one time I fell and dislocated my knee, nobody cared nor noticed except for Coran. I was told I didn’t deserve the healing pod, which might have been true, but it still fucking hurts, Keith! I couldn’t eat on certain days! Some of the goo that was served I was allergic to- I puked my stomach out, but nobody would listen, so I just wouldn’t eat. I lost 20 pounds in two weeks. And then the kicker, the real kicker,” Lance let out a small laugh, sarcastic and bitter, “was when I tried to warn you guys on that mission. I tried to say that it was too quiet- that it was a trap, _but no one listened_ , ‘stop thinking Lance,’ I’m not fucking stupid. And then we got ambushed and I gave my life for you guys- I was ready to die.”

The room was silent, except for Lance’s and Keith’s yells, everybody watching the situation going down in front of them in horror.

Lance’s voice grew quieter, though none of the intensity left. “But then Lotor spared me. I went through the gladiator rings, and I won, and then I met him. He liked me, he saw the potential in me. He might have branded me that first night, but it was something he needed to do- he needed to show me. He’d done so much for for me than any of you have.”

Keith’s eyes flashed, and he stepped forward, gripping Lance’s shirt. “So, he didn’t rape you then? It was all consensual- you just opened your legs for him, let him climb in to fuck you, because he complimented you? Is that all that’s been happening?” His words were nasty, carving into Lance like a knife.

People gasped around the two, Allura letting out a choked noise, Hunk burying his face into his hands, Pidge swearing. A flash of anger went across Shiro’s face. “Stop, Keith, this isn’t making things any better,” the man stepped forward, to pull him away, but he stopped when Lance punched Keith square in the jaw.

“I’m not some kind of slut, you bastard! Having sex with Lotor was my only option- what do you think would have happened if I refused the first time? But you know what- maybe I did let him do that stuff with me, and maybe I did like it, because he made me feel wanted, he made me feel like I was worth something, like I wasn’t just some piece of trash that’s expendable. Lotor loves me. And I love him. More than I could love you, or anybody else in here.”

Lance choked, tears beginning to fall from his eyes, dripping onto his cheeks, and onto the floor. His whole body still burned with anger. “I’m so much more stronger now. Stronger than I ever was, here.”

Keith frowned, wiping away the spit that had leaked when Lance hit him, his eyes sharp, piercing into Lance. “Show me. Show me how strong you’ve gotten, then. Show everybody.”

Lance’s eyes flashed, and he took a step back, clenching his jaw. “Fine. I’ll battle you in the training deck- since I don’t have my bayard with me, I still get a gun.”

Keith nodded, and stalked away, his hair messy. Shiro stepped in front of him, putting his hand out to stop him. “Keith, stop this. You and Lance aren’t going to fight, this isn’t right- you need to apologize to him; I don’t think we all know what exactly is going on right now, and we need to work together as a team to figure it out.”

“Shut up, Shiro. Let us do this. I need to show Keith, _everybody,_ what I can do. I’m not going to kill him, or anything.” Lance’s words were cold as he pushed Shiro’s hand away, brushing past him. He followed Keith to the training deck.

The team watched the two leave, shocked, their mouths open, unable to process what was going on. Coran cleared his throat, sighing. “We’d better watch to keep an eye on the two to make sure they don’t hurt each other, or themselves.  But… I must say, everyone should take into consideration what Lance just said there- none of us know how he’s truly feeling, so we must try our best to sympathize with him, and try to make everything up to him.”

Hunk and Pidge nodded- Hunk seemed to be completely torn by what was going on. He knew he was the one to blame for Lance not eating, and he felt absolutely devastated by it- his stomach had dropped, and it looked like he had to throw up. Pidge didn’t look any better.

* * *

 

Keith gritted his teeth as another laser brushed past him, his grazing his cheek- it was white hot against it, and he could feel his left eye already watering up because of it. Coran had adjusted both of their weapons so they weren’t lethal- putting a weird tape-like substance on his sword that would blunt it, but apparently still hurt as if you were still actually still hit by it. The same had gone for Lance’s gun, the lasers wouldn’t actually damage Keith’s body, but it would still hurt like a bitch. Keith already knew this- he had already been hit several times.

Lance had gotten better. Way better. Keith should have suspected it- he shouldn’t have thought that way about Lance. Of course he had gotten better- how many hours had he put into training while he was on the castle? How many had be put into training while he was with Lotor? Shaking his head, Keith focused himself in again, his back still pressed against the small wall coming from the floor, to use for cover.

He poked his head over, clutching his sword to see where Lance was- a Laser whizzed at his head, and Keith sunk back down again, swearing under his breath. He really thought this whole battle thing was just going to be a fistfight or something- after all, Lance had already punched him… guilt pricked Keith- he knew he shouldn’t have said those things. They were nasty, and uncalled for, but… he had just lost his temper. Finally, they had gotten Lance back and he didn’t even want to be there… well, he kind of suspected it. But it still hurt.

Keith needed to win this battle. It was like he was battling for Lance to stay, to not go back to the hands of Lotor. He wanted Lance to stay. Everybody did.

When he poked his head up again, Keith noticed that Lance was gone, or at least not in the same spot he was a few moments ago. He was probably switching locations- which meant Keith needed to do so, too. The wall he was up against was too close to the corners of the room- it would be too easy for Lance to corner him.

Taking a deep breath, Keith surged forward, his eyes glued to another cover site in front of him. He was 4, 3, steps away from it before something, no, someone, swept his legs away from underneath him. Swearing as he skidded across the floor, Keith flipped himself over, getting back to his feet- Lance stood in front of him, gun in hand, lighting up, ready to shoot.

Shooting forward, Keith zig-zagged the best he could, dodging Lance’s shots. He wasn’t perfect, though- a few his his shoulder and lower arms, making him hiss with pain. But, he wouldn’t stop now- the only way he’d let Lance win, was if he was pinned down, unable to move.

Keith’s sword swung up, clashing down against Lance’s gun. Sweat dripped down his forehead, as his muscles clenched up. He drew his sword away, preparing for another hit- Lance blocked it again, his teeth gritting, his knuckles white. Suddenly, he brought his gun up, twisting it in a way that made Keith drop his sword, it scattering across the room. Swearing, the raven-haired boy dived forward, ducking under the lighting gun, barreling into Lance’s stomach.

The gun dropped to the floor, clattering against it. Keith could feel hands gripping at his hair as he pushed forward, feeling Lance’s body tipping over. But then, he felt the hardening of muscles underneath him, and he was pushed back with such force that he had to take a few steps just to try to not fall over.

“I’m not the same as I once was, Keith,” Lance breathed, his brown hair sticking to his skin. “I’ve changed.”

“You’re not leaving this team.” Keith hissed back, throwing himself forward once again.

The two boys grappled with each other, throwing punches, dodging, trying to push each other over. Everybody to the sidelines watched, silent, mouths open- nobody, not even Shiro or Coran could bring themselves to stop the fight. It was like an instinctual thing, not to disturb two wild animals. They knew Keith and Lance needed this.

Keith thought he was winning. Lance’s movements were getting slower- his reactions get less refined. He was losing steam. He moved forward to try and pin him down, but once again, he felt his legs being swept from out underneath him.

Crashing to the floor, he gritted his teeth as his head slammed against the mat- not hard enough to give him a concussion or anything, but hard enough to rattle his teeth. He struggled to get up, determined not to give up, but a weight held him down.

Lance straddled him, staring down at Keith’s face, his eyes intense, sweat dripping, breaths coming out hard. His hands snaked up to push against the boy’s throat- hard, but not too hard. He wasn’t trying to hurt, or kill him.

“Do you surrender?”

Keith shook his head, “ Lance you’re not leaving!”

The cuban boy pressed harder. “ _I said,_ do you surrender?”

“Keith. It’s done. It’s over. You surrender.” Shiro’s voice called out, emotionless, shocked at the scene playing out in front of him.

Keith sighed. He grunted, shifting his weight one last time. He wouldn’t be able to get out of this. “I… I surrender.”

“Yeah. Fuck you.”

The pressure was lifted off of him as Lance got up, not even giving him a spare glance as he walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

This was it. Lance was out of here- he had his word with Keith, showed him who was the strongest. He wasn’t staying here. No way. Why the fuck would he stay here- where he had felt as though he wasn’t worth anybodies spare time? Lotor was waiting for him. Lotor was probably pissed, but that was okay, he’d deal with it. Just like he had dealt with everything else.

He walked down the halls that were once familiar to him, following the path he used to take so often, down to the hangar. When he reached it, his heart skipped a beat- it was so strange seeing the Lions again, remembering the thrill he once felt being able to fly Blue.

But that was all in the past now- no more Blue, no more anything. All he needed was a pod to get the fuck out of there. He’d hightail it to the nearest planet and try to contact Lotor once he landed. By now, the Galran empire knew of him, so just as long as he stated his name, he probably wouldn’t get killed.

He’d leave Voltron in the dust and never think of them again. Even if they came to ‘rescue’ him again, he’d tell them to fuck off. Even fight them, if he needed to. No, he didn’t need rescuing. Not by these people.

To his delight, nobody had followed Lance. That was good- he’d have plenty of time to gather himself, and get the pod ready. He wanted to make sure that he’d be able to fly it after so much time off- crash landing wouldn’t be very pleasant.

Walking up to where the extra pods were kept, Lance was about to open the doors and hop in, when something tugging at his mind made him stop. He knew this presence, though he hadn't felt it in 6 months. It was Blue- she was trying to speak to him.

“Go away. I’m doing this.” He called over to her. The presence didn’t stop- it called out to him, giving him the unwavering urge to walk over to her. “Seriously Blue- I’m leaving! I don’t belong here!” Lance’s voice cracked.

She continued to call. He gave in.

His footsteps were loud against the tile flooring as he walked over to Blue- she sat tall in the hanger, her head held high, proud. Lance sighed as he looked at her. He remembered the good times he had in her- those were some of the only good memories he had of being out in space.

“What do you want? I’ll say goodbye. But only to you.” Lance’s voice was soft, as he put a hand on her paw.

Her head leaned down and opened, willing for Lance to come inside. One last time, before he left. He complied, walking in. A breath sucked in as Lance looked around the compartment again, eyes wide. Walking forward, he sat in her chair, leaning back. “Why is this so hard, Blue? Why is life so hard?” Lance mumbled, tears pricking his eyes.

She rumbled. He felt her tugging at his mind again, and this time, he let her show him whatever she wanted to show.

Flashes of Keith. Keith crying, watching the video, throwing up, yelling at Shiro. The team fighting against Lotor, the feeling they all had, to beat him, so that they could all go and save Lance. The guilt each person carried, the sadness, the loneliness. How much Allura struggled flying Blue, knowing that her rightful owner was still alive, knowing that they hadn’t gone to get him yet. Lance felt how much Keith hurt, how much Keith wanted for Lance to come back- how sad he was, how angry he was. It was like he was taking on all of the team’s emotions and memories at once- it made Lance want to burst at the seams.

Finally everything stopped, Leaving Lance breathless and sweating. He gripped the chair handles, his knuckles white. Was that how the team really felt about him? Was that how hard they worked to get him back? Tears flooded from Lance’s eyes, and he let out a sob. He leaned down against Blue’s controls, heaving, sobbing, crying as she rumbled, comforting him.

Maybe his team wanted him after all.

 

* * *

 

 

“You imbeciles! What do you mean he’s missing?! How hard is it to bring a poisoned person back to the base- they’re unconscious!” Lotor’s eyes flashed, his sword drawn up to two Galran soldiers, who stood straight, and tall. They had a look of pure terror in their eyes.

“Y-Your honour, the king wouldn’t let us in the room at the time. It was only supposed to be those two, while your mate went through the poisoning process. We didn’t know he was gone until it was time for us to go in to bring him back to you- we swear, we had nothing to do with it!” One of the guards choked, his voice strained.

Lotor snarled, his white hair frenzied. “You just lost a royal mate- both of you. If you have no more information for me, then I must perform the punishment.” His voice was cold, icy.

“Please, spare us, oh god, please, no!” Their voice was cut out as Lotor’s sword sunk into their stomach, blood gurgling out of their mouth. The other whimpered, whispering prayers, before he too was impaled.

Lotor looked at them, his face drawn into an expression of disgust as he turned to walk away.

“I’ll get him back, no matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooooo, so Keith and Lance really hashed it out. Keith's kinda being a dick right now, I know, but a lot of it has to do with all the stress he's been under, and his guilt towards lance, and his feelings towards him too- he just doesn't know how to process them correctly. And Lance, well, who can blame him? He's going through shit right now. So is the team- this is going to be a long healing process for everybody. 
> 
> Also, Lotor. What's he going to do? 
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! I love everybody's comments- I read all of them!!! Do you guys mind the POV switches? I kind of just go with them naturally, when I feel like they would fit in- I don't really plan them. I loosely plan my chapters, so like, what I relatively want to happen during them, and how I want them to end. So I come up with a lot of stuff on the go, lol. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter!!


	8. Lips Locked

Shiro had gone off on his own. After all that had gone down between Keith and Lance, all the words, and punches, he needed to see if the cuban boy was okay. He knew that it was a lot for Lance- coming out of the healing pod, dazed and confused, only to be questioned and surrounded by everybody. Plus… Lance was still tied to Lotor, in a way. Emotionally, physically- presumably Lotor was the only person that Lance saw for those 6 months. 

Shiro didn’t like Lotor, he despised him, hated him, wanted to kill him, but he knew that for Lance it was different. It confused and angered Shiro just as much as Keith and the others, but he knew that what Lance was going through had to be hard. So he’d accept whatever was to come.

Keith had wanted to go after Lance the moment the boy had beaten him and walked away, But Shiro had stopped him, making him go back to his room. Lance obviously needed space, and peace and quiet to think about things. There was the chance he was going to leave, yes, but… Shiro couldn't force him to stay. He’d be no worse than Lotor if he did. 

But after a while, Shiro was beginning to get worried. Pidge and Hunk had gone off to the kitchen, Coran had led Allura out to comfort her- the princess couldn’t contain her tears. And well, Keith had taken Shiro’s orders and stalked off to his room. It had been nearly two hours now, and there still wasn’t any word of Lance. Shiro had to make sure he was okay.

Following the path he had seen the boy take, Shiro figured Lance had gone to the hangar. To see Blue, maybe? Either that, or to… leave, but Shiro had to keep himself optimistic. For the team. He was the glue that held everything together, though… he wasn’t doing a very good job at it.

Shiro’s footsteps were loud as he entered the hangar, all the lions, and thankfully, all the pods still there and intact. He let out a sigh of relief- he wasn’t sure what he would have done if Lance had flown off. His head turned to the Blue lion- and immediately the black paladin knew that Lance was in there- his sobs were softly emitting from the Lion’s mouth.

Swallowing, Shiro had half the thought to turn tail and leave the boy alone- time to go over what had happened, and cry things out might be good for Lance, but… it was almost time for the castle to switch to night mode, and he didn’t want Lance to have to find his way back to his room in the dark, alone.

Well, at least Lance had found his Lion. There was obviously still a bond between the two, otherwise she would have never opened up for him. It was the one thing that comforted Shiro- Lance still had something other than the team to fall back on. Shiro knew how well the lions connected with their paladins, and he also knew that they had a will of their own. He was confident that Blue would take care of Lance. Even if his team couldn’t.

Shiro slowly walked up to the Lion, a little hesitant, not wanting to scare Lance. He gently asked Blue to open up for him, so that he could see Lance, and after a second or two, she complied.

Lance was sitting in his chair, face down, covered by his arms. Shiro could see his shoulders rise and fall, cries coming from him. Lance had never seemed so small in Shiro’s eyes, curled up, hunched over. He didn’t look like the confident Lance Shiro once knew. He looked broken. And Shiro knew that it was partly his fault.

“Lance?” Shiro prompted softly, announcing his presence. “It’s me, Shiro. I came to see if… if you were alright.”

Lance turned his head, looking at Shiro, sniffling. His eyes were tinged with red, watery. His cheeks were wet. “Shiro…” was all he could manage without hiccuping too much. He didn’t seem as angry anymore, which was a good thing, Shiro supposed. But it hurt to see him cry like this.

Shiro swallowed hard, walking closer to Lance. He put a soft hand on his shoulder, comforting him. “It’s okay, Lance. It’s okay to be like this, you have every right to.”

The boy seemed to crumble at Shiro’s touch, crying even harder than before. He turned to face him,one hand reaching out to grip Shiro’s sleeve, tears dripping off of his chin. The sobs seemed to go through his whole body, he seemed scared, and confused all at once.

“It’s okay, Lance. I promise it’s okay.” The taller man cooed, stepping closer to Lance, rubbing his hand across Lance’s back. “Here, come with me- the lights are going to go off soon, and I don’t want to to be stuck here in the dark, all alone.”

Lance nodded, sniffling, slowly standing up. His hand still gripped onto Shiro’s sleeve, almost for support, it seemed like. Once he was steady, they both started to walk out, leaving the Blue Lion to sit in silence.

Shiro’s heart ached seeing Lance like this.

 

* * *

Lance didn’t know why he felt the need to hang onto Shiro like this. To cling onto his warmth like a moth drawn to fire. He didn’t know why he let Shiro touch him, or comfort him, either. He was so confused, so hurt, Lance didn’t know where his mind was at. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to Lotor, or to stay here, with the team. But he did know that what he craved was some sort of physical contact.

To remind him of how Lotor sometimes touched him, soft, calming, making him feel safe and warm. How the prince sometimes stroked his hair while they were in bed, how his body heat radiated under the covers. Lance missed it. He craved it, even though he hadn’t even been gone for that long. Some of the things Lotor did made Lance forget about the scars he left, mentally and physically. It clouded Lance’s mind. 

Shiro led him through the halls- the lights had turned off, just like he had said. Lance felt relieved to have a guide- his memory of the castle had faded, and being like this, all shaken up and crying, he probably wouldn’t have made it back to his room.

But Shiro didn’t take him to his room. Instead, the taller man led him through the hallways, stopping at a closet to grab a blanket, before walking again. Lance didn’t let go of his sleeve the whole time, instead clutching onto it like a toddler. Shiro didn’t seem to mind, though. He just continued on, silently, through the halls.

Lance was grateful.

Finally, Shiro stopped, causing Lance to almost crash face-first into him. He blinked for a second, before his eyes focused and he realized that they were at the bridge. The view of space twinkled in front of them, large, vast and endless. Lance wondered if any of the stars he saw, glittering bright in the darkness was home. Earth.

Shiro sat down, Lance quickly following his actions, criss-crossing his legs. His sobs had stopped, only small sniffles coming out. Shiro unfolded the blanket, wrapping it around Lance. “I know this is really hard for you, Lance,” he murmured, his voice soft, soothing to Lance’s ears. “We shouldn’t have reacted the way that we did- especially Keith. But you have to know that he didn’t mean any of the harsh things he said. Out of all of us, he’s the one who had the hardest time with you being gone, and now that you’re here, well… I think he’s just overwhelmed. Just like you.” Nothing sounded accusing, or condescending- it was purely just Shiro, giving his input on the situation.

“But when I say that we’re all overjoyed that you’re back, we mean it, Lance. Look at me,” Lance looked over, his eyes watery, his expression reflected back to himself as he stared into Shiro’s eyes. “We’re so happy that you’re back.”

That was it. Lance broke down again, tears beginning to stream down his face. He started to cry again, burying his face into his hands, but was surprised when he felt a strong arm drape over him, bringing him closer to Shiro. He could feel himself press against Shiro’s chest, strong and firm. He could feel the rise of every breath, could hear Shiro’s heartbeat.

Lance cried even harder, his hands curling up into little balls, clutching onto Shiro’s shirt.

“I-I don’t know how to feel- everybody’s telling me that Lotor’s evil, that he’s bad, but, but- he  _ loves _ me Shiro, he’s done so much for me, he made me feel so… so  _ wanted.  _ But now I’m here, and-” Lance hiccuped, “Blue showed me everything- how you guys felt, how you guys cried, and tried to look for me. I- I saw Keith, and how he threw up watching that stupid video of me, and, and I can’t. I can’t believe he saw that, saw Lotor and I, it makes me sick, Shiro.  _ Sick. _ ” Lance’s eyes screwed shut as arm hands continued to stroke his back soothingly, holding him tight. 

“No one thinks any different of you because of that, Lance.” Shiro softly whispered, looking down at the boy. Lance figured he must look awful, full of snot and tears, with his eyes all puffy, but he didn’t care.

“Keith thinks of me different.” He sniffled.

“No, he doesn’t Lance, he’s just… confused.”

Lance whimpered, hiccuping again. He looked up to Shiro, his eyes glittering with wetness. “You don’t think of me any differently?”

Shiro’s face softened, as he continued to look down, bringing one hand over to softly stroke the boy’s face. “Of course not. You’re Lance.”

Lance felt something flutter in his chest. He felt like he was with Lotor again, comfortable and affirmed. And then it happened. Lance didn’t know what was going on, but suddenly his lips were on Shiro’s, and he felt so warm. So comfortable, so at home. Slowly, he felt Shiro’s other hand come up to cup Lance’s face, his real hand warm against Lance’s face.

He seemed to almost melt into Shiro, his body pressed up against him, arms wrapping up around his neck. And Shiro reciprocated, his lips slowly moving against Lance’s.

It ended all too quickly- Lance realized what he was doing, and they both drew away, breaths coming out almost panting. A blush spread across Lance’s face, and he felt his heart speed up- what had he done? He didn’t like Shiro, not like that. Not like… not like Lotor.

“Shiro- I, I-” Lance stuttered, as he scooted away from Shiro’s warmth, the blanket falling off of him. “I didn’t mean to do that. I- it just happened.”

“Lance….”

“I don’t- I don’t like you like that, Shiro, I swear. I just… I think it has something to do with, with Lotor. I miss him. My body misses him, and I felt really warm, and it just kind of,” Lance made a gesture with his hands, “happened.” He could feel his breath coming out fast as tears hastil sprung to his eyes again.

Shiro let out a small sigh, leaning forward to rest his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Relax. I understand, Lance, I really do. I don’t blame you for anything- sometimes these things just… happen, even if you didn’t mean for them to. I won’t tell anybody else, I promise. I don’t think any different of you.”

Lance let out a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry… “

Giving him a small smile, Shiro nodded. “It’s fine. It happens. C’mon, let’s get you to your room.”

When Lance looked up at Shiro, he thought he saw a hint of sadness in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by warmth as he helped him up, beginning to guide him back to the rooms.

Lance still felt warm. 

* * *

Keith’s hands balled up, his nails cutting into his skin. What had he just seen? No. He couldn’t be right- Lance… Lance and Shiro couldn’t have been kissing, right?

But they were. The two of them were so ingrained in Keith’s mind that he knew he wasn’t wrong. And that was what made it so much worse. Since when did Shiro have feelings for Lance? Since when did he kiss people when sitting with them, and arm around them, while watching the stars?

Since when did Lance cry in his arms, his frame small against Shiro’s?

Keith turned tail. He felt the emotions build up in his stomach, whirling, his face growing hot. He stalked down the halls, footsteps loud, but unheard by everyone else. What were these feelings he was feeling? Why was he feeling them? They felt so intense, almost as intense as when he saw Lotor doing those  _ things  _ to Lance.

But somehow, they felt a little worse. A little too close to home.

He reached his door, it sliding open effortlessly. Storming inside of his room, Keith threw himself on his bed, now even wanting to take his shoes off. The door shut behind him, and he let out a groan. How could this happen? How did all of this happen? He had so many questions, needed so many answers that would never be answered.

But the biggest question that went through his mind, was why did he feel like this around Lance? Why did he feel so awful when he saw Lance doing things with other people? Why did he tense up whenever Lance mentioned Lotor’s name, want to punch something every time Lance tried to defend him. This wasn’t right- he must be sick, or something. 

Keith flipped over, looking at the ceiling. Was he sick? Should he go see Coran? No. It was some sort of mental thing, not physical. Maybe he was going crazy. He shouldn’t care this much about Lance, to the point where it almost hurt to think of him. They were teammates yes, rivals yes, maybe,  _ maybe _ friends, but none of that warranted those feelings. 

But one thing he knew was that he had never felt this way before- not even towards Shiro, who was like a brother to him. Never had he felt so strongly. He wanted to punch Shiro. Punch him for kissing Lance like that, his large hands cupping his tanned face.

He couldn’t get the image out of his head. No. He needed to go for a walk. To clear his head.

Keith heaved himself up, sighing as he walked out of his room, once again. He wished the castle was cooler, so that it felt like he was actually going to get some air, like how he had done back home. But nope, it was always the same temperature- not too hot, not too cold. Just like always.

But walking helped. It helped to clear his mind, calm him down a bit. That is, until he saw Shiro, doing the same thing we was doing.

A scowl formed on Keith’s face as he walked up to him, pushing hard against Shiro’s back. The more muscular man turned around, tensed- his hand was lit up, ready to attack, but it cooled off after he realized it was just Keith.

“Why do you look like you want to murder me?” Shiro questioned, a little laugh in his voice, as he took a step back, folding his arms.

“Because I’m incredibly pissed at you, you asshole.” Keith growled.

Shiro’s expression went from happy to concerned, as his eyebrows furrowed, his small smile turning into a frown. “What did I do?” He seemed to feign innocence, and it pissed Keith off even more.

“You know what you did! You kissed Lance! I saw you two- don’t even try to deny it! How could you take advantage of him like that? When did you even start to like Lance? How could you do that after all this? Right after he came back from being with Lotor- are you even thinking, Shiro? What the fuck!” Keith’s words came out quickly, heated as his face and ears grew hotter.

Shiro’s face fell, and he looked towards the ground. He looked more guilty than anything, but Keith’s heated tone wasn’t helping anything. “It was a mistake, Keith. And no, I don’t like him like that. Look, it was just a heat of the moment thing- Lance was the one to kiss me. I think he just needed some comfort, and physical contact like that was the only thing he could think of. After all that he’s been through, it’s really understandable- in some way, I was the same after I got back from my own imprisonment. We talked to each other after that. There’s nothing going on between us, so I’d appreciate if you’d lower your tone. “ Shiro was soft with Keith, but there was a hint of sternness in his voice, unyielding to the way Keith was looking at him.

“Whatever, Shiro. I just thought you were smarter than that. “ Keith huffed, turning away. Accident. He didn’t believe it. Shiro liked Lance, and how could he not? But he was taking advantage of him, taking advantage of the paladin being hurt, and confused, and it hurt Keith. He was still guilty about saying those things to Lance.

He was about to walk away haughtily, before Shiro’s hand caught his shoulder. “Keith, this doesn’t have anything to do with you liking Lance, right?”

Keith spluttered, taken back. “What! I don’t like Lance, what are you talking about?!” He snarled, pulling away from him. “You’re crazy.”

He began to walk away, back turned to him. A funny feeling went through Keith’s stomach- what if he actually did like Lance?

 

* * *

“Haggar, what else have you found out?” Lotor’s voice was calm, as he sat in his chair. The woman stood before him, her frame small against the grand room. Her hood was up, the only thing showing was her hair.  

“It is possible the bond will still work.” Her voice was a big cracky, rough, but it was still clear throughout the air. “Just as long as he continues to see you as his mate, or, lover in human terms, it should work. But, not for a few movements. Once the bond takes place, he will begin to feel pain being away from you- he will need to be around you, touch you, feel you in order to feel good again. It will be as if you are his main energy source- without you, he will starve. Within one month of having no contact with you, he will die- two weeks and he will be miserable enough to kill himself. Give it a week after the bond forms before he comes crawling back into your arms. ”

A smirk formed on Lotor’s face as he nodded slowly, fingers drumming on his chair. This is what he wanted. He wanted Lance to be his, and his only- with the bond in place, the only person on his mind would be him. Lance would worship him, only see him in his eyes. All thoughts of the team would go away- it didn’t even matter that he wasn’t here anymore. Once time passed, his little paladin would be crawling back to him.

“However,” Haggar’s voice drew Lotor out of his fantasies. “The bond may not form if he sees another as one he loves. It has to be only you he sees.”

Lotor stiffened, his smirk turning into a frown. He wanted to snarl at her, to cut her for saying such words, but he kept himself composed. “That is nothing to be worried about. I have ingrained myself so deep into that boy that it’s impossible for him to think of anyone but me. He bears my brand, and the scars that I have given him. But he also bears the love and affection, the conditioning I have displayed. There is nothing to fear. He knows only of me. I have broken him far enough to ensure it.”

That was his whole plan. The poisoning- Lotor had found out about a month ago that not only did the Yrlax food and drinks poison humans, but, if drinken certain ones, they allowed a certain ‘bond’ to form between two people. It was often used by couples, who were truly, wholly in love. Normally both parties drank, to share such feelings together, but it was possible for only one to form the bond.

And that was what Lotor had Lance do- he had him go out on that mission, go to the king, to drink the drink. That was the plan. To make Lance so infatuated with him that he couldn’t physically stand being away from him for more than a couple days. He wanted to see the way Lance would cling to him, dote on him, love him. Lotor craved it.

The Blue Paladin was like a drug to him. He was easily the most attractive human Lotor had ever seen- with such tan skin, smooth and unblemished. Bright blue eyes that carried mischief, but also something else when Lotor filled him up, gave him so much pleasure that tears leaked out of his eyes. Lotor would be the only thing Lance though of- the only thing Lance got pleasure from, sought warmth from.

The only thing the bond couldn’t do was make Lance produce heirs for Lotor. He was not that type of male, like some of the other life forces he had seen, that could bear children along with women. But that was fine. Lotor could overlook it- producing children wasn’t that hard anyways. He and Lance would pick out a pretty galra to bear their children for them. They could even mix their genes so that the child would have some of Lance’s features. His eyes. His smile. He would only miss seeing Lance’s round belly, and his glowing skin, but… it was something Lotor could deal with.

Lance would come back to him. If the bond didn’t work, he’d take him away, like he did before and try again. He’d poison Lance 100 times if he had too- only to make Lance feel the same way he did. Lotor wanted to dominate him. To make him trace every scar that he gave him and smile, because he knew that his mate loved him and that he had punished him because of his love for him.

The illusions in Lotor’s head were so clear, so crisp, it was almost scary. Nobody under his rule dared to question his choice in his mate anymore- not after he had killed those two guards for losing him. Even Haggar, his mother, refused to show judgement towards Lance. With Zarkon injured, she didn’t want to risk the wrath of her only son. A paladin would have to do.

Lotor got up from his chair, dipping his head towards his mother, before walking out. He could feel her eyes trained on him, but he didn’t care. He and his rein of people were getting stronger and stronger everyday, and with Zarkon out of commission, he was free to carry out his task. His way. The best way.

And Lance would join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Destiny_Enemy- I took your advice. Shiro is in this. Things get heated. Y'all are going to hate me. 
> 
> BUT i can assure you guys that shiro/lance isn't going to be a /thing/- the kiss was just a thing that happened. An accident so don't yell at me ok 
> 
> also yeah lotor's crazy 
> 
> thanks!!!!!!!!!


	9. In One Day

Lance was doing good. Well, as good as anybody could do in his situation. Things were getting a little easier. He could navigate the castle once again, and sit to have dinner with everyone else without ending up crying. He had even taken up training again, and this time not in secret! Well, technically not in secret, and certainly not at night anymore. Lance didn’t really like anybody else watching him while he fought, but he was okay with Shiro coming in every once in awhile to get a look on things. It felt comforting knowing that someone was there to make sure he didn’t get too out of hand- it reminded him of Lotor.

Even though Lance had been doing well on the ship, recovering emotionally, Lotor was still constantly on his mind. Still tugging at him, willing him to take a pod and fly away, back to the base. But usually, Lance could push it away. Though, he wouldn’t deny that he missed someone being in his bed with him. Hunk was always up for cuddles, but it wasn’t quite the same.

The team seemed to be more upbeat. Hunk was always cooking happily, checking in with Lance to make sure he liked whatever meal was being made. Lance thought that he was being spoiled too much, but Hunk always insisted, so in the end, he gave in. He knew Hunk was desperately trying to make it up to him, to get rid of the guilt and shame that he felt. Lance knew that Hunk felt terrible. So he went with it, to help him feel better.

It wasn’t just Hunk that had started to change for Lance. Almost the whole team did- Shiro was always checking in, (it was a little annoying to be honest, but Lance let it slide,) Hunk was always baking, and Pidge made sure to put in Lance’s favourite movies on movie night. Coran sometimes talked with Lance, just like Shiro did- the two had grown closer because of this, and often they shared stories of back home. It turns out Coran had a family too- a wife, and children. He enjoyed hearing Lance talk about his large family. It was very often both of them parted ways teary-eyed and with a sense of broken nostalgia.  Allura treated him differently as well, taking Lance’s input on things more seriously than before. He appreciated it.

The only person who hadn’t changed was Keith. In fact, Lance saw it as the opposite- he was more distant than before, often avoiding eye contact with Lance, and leaving the room if it was just the two of them alone. It had given Lance a sinking feeling- as much as Shiro had tried to deny it, he  _ did  _ think differently of him. But… Lance couldn’t blame him. He thought differently of himself.

But despite all of this, something bigger had affected Lance’s current situation- Blue. His lion. Her presence was growing increasingly larger, the bond between them that had been severed for so long re-kindling. Lance felt that their bond might be stronger than ever now- kind of like when you break a bone, it heals to be stronger. That mentality. Lance wasn’t sure if he was right or not, but he was certainly satisfied.

Despite his growing bond with her, Lance still hadn’t flown her. Not since the last mission- where he was caught, and saved by Lotor. He hadn’t felt like the time was right, that he was ready for it, even with Allura’s constant pressing on him to do so. It just hadn’t been the right time.

But now, as he sat with her, in the hangar, speaking to her, feeling her rumbles around him, Lance knew that it was the right time for him to fly her again. He could feel it deep in his bones, and partnered with Blue’s rumbles and presence flooding into his mind, Lance didn't have any doubts about it. He was going to fly her. But he wanted to do it alone. It felt as though this would be a private moment between him and Blue, and if Lance was being totally honest, he didn’t want his team to see him mess up the first couple of tries. He was certainly going to be rusty, after a 6 and a couple weeks long hiatus.

So when he changed into his suit, and entered the hangar again, Lance didn’t tell anybody what he was doing. He knew that Allura would know the moment he left with her- and it might cause a tizzy, but he needed it. He and Blue needed it.

Sitting in the chair again felt weird. Lance felt strangely light, as his heart pounded in his chest, hands clutching the controls, white-knuckling it. He tried to squirm and get comfortable, to feel like he used to, but it was no use. Only time flying her would let out all the kinks.

He let out a breath.

Counted to three.

The doors opened.

And then, all of a sudden, Lance felt free again. He could feel the sensation of Blue soaring through the open space, darting out of the castle doors like a greyhound running a race for the first time. He barreled and dived, shooting out at imaginary targets. Granted, he spun out of control sometimes- a slip of his concentration, or his fingers, but no longer than 5 seconds later, he’d have her back under control.

Blue’s rumblings wouldn’t stop as Lance flew her- she seemed to be as happy as Lance, flying with her real Paladin after what seemed like forever.

Honestly, Lance remembered now why he loved flying. How, back in the beginnings of it, Voltron was so great. How he felt alive doing what he had always dreamed of- flying a ship, being a pilot, a shooter. Not just some lousy cargo pilot that shipped goods from one end of space to the other. No, this was so, so much better.

His heart was still racing when he finally landed back down into the ship, but for a whole other reason now.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith had seen the way Lance had flown. Everyone had- as soon as Allura had sensed the Blue Lion leaving the castle, everybody had rushed to the castle. Keith wanted to go after him the minute Allura’s words had left her mouth, but Shiro had stopped him. He wanted everybody to observe for a bit. 

Well, Lance didn’t leave. It was like a weight had been lifted off of his chest on that part. Lance hadn’t tried to leave them the moment he got the chance too. It was nice seeing him have so much fun out there- soaring, moving so quickly… it was such a sight seeing Lance being Lance again. Even if it was only for a fleeting moment- it gave everyone hope. Tears had pricked everyone’s eyes, including his own.

But Shiro had warned them. He had said that Lance wasn’t ‘cured,’ wasn’t perfectly okay now that he was flying his lion again. He had said that one good moment could be coupled with hundreds of bad, and that nobody should jump to conclusions. Keith wanted him to be wrong. He wanted Lance to be back to his old self completely, he wanted to have that rivalry back, even if it was only on Lance’s side. He wanted to tease him, laugh with him…have fun with him. Shiro had told Keith to be patient- that these things took months to over come. But Keith wasn’t so fond of Shiro at the moment.

Because out of everybody that Lance had grown the closest with, it was Shiro. And after seeing the two kiss, and having Shiro deny there ever being feelings between the two, Keith had grown very suspicious. He noticed how Shiro was the only one allowed to watch Lance train- how the older man always went to check on Lance, whether he was in his bedroom, training, off by himself in his lion, Shiro was always off checking on Lance.

Why couldn’t anyone else check on Lance? Well, scratch that- Coran did, and the two were often seen conversing, but Keith couldn’t get mad at Coran. His intentions could never be questioned. But Shiro… Keith couldn’t be so sure. Even if he loved Shiro like he loved a brother.

Keith sighed. This was the first time he felt this way towards Shiro, so hostile and unforgiving. And he didn’t have a clue as to why. But weirdly enough, Shiro’s last words to him always seemed to ring out in Keith’s head. ‘This doesn’t have anything to do with you liking Lance, right?”

Keith didn’t like Lance. How could he? Lance was…. Lance was Lance! How could he like someone that held a rivalry against him for so long, for someone so loud and  obnoxious, so arrogant? Keith didn’t like Lance. But he knew he was lying to himself.

Who he once thought of of plain annoying, and hard to get along with, was now someone he cared for, worried about. He ached to talk to Lance and check in on him like Shiro did, to bake him stuff like Hunk did, or find his favourite movies. Even Coran he was jealous of- the two obviously talked. But Keith… well, Keith was having problems. Ever since Shiro had talked to him like that, ever since he had seen the two kiss, Keith couldn’t even make eye contact with Lance without having his ears glow furiously rose red.

Pidge had pointed it out once, snickering under her breath and Keith couldn’t do it.

This made talking to him and growing a bond with Lance that much harder. Just staying in the same room as the stupid cuban boy had Keith’s heart beating furiously in his chest! He wasn’t a fucking schoolgirl! He was a Paladin- he was Keith! Stoic, broody Keith who didn’t get crushes on people.

But it was getting to the point where Keith couldn’t even deny himself. 

Keith was dense, but not this dense. He had been putting it off for so long, pushing his feelings aside- feelings that he was now aware that he had way before the mission, but now they were coming back up. Unleashed like never before.

There was no other way to put it, other than he was undeniably smitten with Lance.

But there was no way Lance would feel the same about him. Not… not after everything Keith had said to Lance, about his time with Lotor, and… other things. God. Keith hated himself for what he said. He just remembered how hot everything felt around him, how much anger and fear he felt thinking about how Lance wanted to leave, to go back to his abuser.  He remembered how much his legs shook. But that still wasn’t any excuse. There were no excuses. 

And he was pretty sure Lance hated him for that. How could he not? That was some fucked up shit.

Keith wanted to make it up to Lance- to apologize, to let him know just how  _ sorry  _ he was, but Keith was at a loss on how to do it, too afraid, to worried about the outcome.

That is, until Shiro had barged into his room one night, angry and upset, telling him how worried Lance was, how the cuban boy wasn’t sure why Keith wouldn’t make eye contact, or talk with him. How Lance was afraid that Keith thought of him as a whore, or someone who just spread their legs for anyone. How he wanted to talk to Keith, but he wasn’t sure how, and how he was afraid to.

It left Keith lying on his bed, contemplating life and the whole universe, feeling like the biggest douche in the history of douches.  __

He heaved himself up, off of his bed. Keith had to talk to Lance, no matter how much his face got red, or how wobbly his knees felt.

 

* * *

Keith stood outside of Lance’s door. His hands shook a little at the thought of doing what he was about to do- appologize to Lance. He wasn’t sure how things would turn out- he wasn’t sure if Lance would just flat out reject him, hate him for life, but… he hoped Lance would see how sorry he was. That was his goal after all.

The raven haired boy stood outside of Lance’s door for a good five minutes before he got the courage to knock. Normally the doors would have slid open for him the moment he stood  in front of them, but Pidge had managed to put in a privacy system on the room doors after more than a few awkward incidents happened. It was both a blessing and a curse. Keith could bide his time and gather his courage, but also, Keith could procrastinate and re-think everything.

But his mind was set. He needed to do this. For Lance, for Shiro, for everyone. Plus, it was the right thing to do.

Letting out a shaky sigh, he knocked.

“Yes? Shiro, you can come in if you want.” A reply came from the other side of the door. Keith could feel his heart drop a little at the mention of Shiro’s name. He bit his lip and sighed even harder.

“Er, it’s Keith,  not Shiro. Can I come in? I have a few things… to say to you.”

There was silence. Keith could hear his heart drumming in his chest.

“What do you have  to say to me? I thought we both talked things out last time.” Lance’s voice was challenging.

“Listen Lance, just let me in so I can talk to you, okay?! It’s important!” Keith snapped, his eyebrows furrowing and fist clenching as he banged on Lance’s door again.

Wait. Fuck. The boy drew back, cursing himself- this far in and he was already losing his temper. Lance would never let him in, now! Inwardly groaning, Keith took a step away from the door, ready to draw back, when surprisingly it slid open.

Lance sat on his bed, facing Keith, elbows resting on his knees, face resting in his hands. He seemed uneasy, but not unwilling. It was better than nothing- if he was there, quiet, there was enough of a chance to talk. Keith hesitantly walked inside, his hands wringing themselves out as the door slid closed behind him.  

“Hey…” He mumbled, quieter, more subdued than before. Lance looked up at him, less than amused. There still seemed to be a flash of hurt beneath his eyes.

“What do you want to say, Keith?”

The boy swallowed hard- he could feel the tips of his ears going red. The whole process was starting now- the redness, the squirming, everything that caused Keith to avoid Lance was starting to resurface now, again.

“I, uh,” Keith had never been one to talk all that much- but he never was at a loss for words. Not like this. He felt like an idiot! “I came here too…”

“C’mon Keith, out with it!” Lance snapped- he seemed as on edge as Keith, though probably for a very different reason.

Keith took in a big breath, trying to channel all of his energy towards this. “I wanted to apologize to you, Lance.”

He noticed Lance’s shocked face, before looking back down at his feet, scared of Lance seeing how hurt his expression might be.  

“I… I’ve been,  _ I was _ , really, really worried about you Lance. When you were gone. It really ate at me in a way that I can’t even describe… like, my mind was on you 24/7, and even if I was doing something else, you and your well being was always something that tugged at me. We were all so devastated when he found out that you were…  _ with  _ Lotor,” Keith carefully chose his words, not wanting to upset Lance any further than he had already had. “And I think it got to me really badly. So when you came back… I think I immediately wanted you to be like how you were before, which is obviously something that was really unrealistic…”

He trailed off, swallowing the spit that had pooled in his mouth. “But I shouldn’t have said those things. There’s no fucking excuse for that, none whatsoever. What I said was so vile, so uncalled for- I don't know how those words could ever leave my mouth. I don’t think of you that way Lance- I never have, and I never will. You’re… you’re not a whore. You’re not any of that. You’re so much better Lance, than all of us- so much stronger. And I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that way. I’m so sorry I challenged you like that, made you feel like shit all over again. I’m sorry for what happened before you left… I just..” Keith struggled to let out a breath, his emotions catching up with him. “I just wish I could turn back time.”

He looked up. Lance was looking at him, with such intensity in his eyes that Keith was surprised there weren’t any holes burned into his shirt. It shocked him, but what made his heart flutter was seeing those ocean blue eyes grow watery. One tear dripped out, then another, and another, and then Lance was sobbing, his head sliding down so that his face could be covered by his hands.

Keith felt the overwhelming need to run away, but also something pulled at him to comfort the boy. He forced down a lump in his throat. 

“Er, Lance- did I say something wrong?” There was a little shake in his voice.

What if he had just upset Lance more? That’s what it looked like- oh god, had he just made everything worse? Should he have just left him alone, let Lance heal in his own way, with Shiro? Keith didn’t want that, but he knew it wasn’t about him, but he didn’t want Lance to hate him. He wanted Lance to feel better, to feel loved and welcomed.

A million thoughts were whizzing through Keith’s brain, until Lance’s words stopped them.

“N-No, Keith- you, I didn’t, fuck,” Lance hastily tried to calm his frenzied crying, furiously rubbing at his eyes, a hiccup or two escaping. “I just never thought you’d say those things to me… I, I thought you thought of me as some, I don’t know, prostitute or something, or that you really hated me… Shiro told me otherwise, and Blue sent me the visions and feelings of when I was gone, but… I- I couldn’t stop thinking it!”

Keith felt a pang go through his heart, and he carefully made his way over to Lance, sitting down next to him on the bed. Red face or not, he had to let the blue paladin know that he cared. Hesitantly, he put his hand on Lance’s back, feeling the warmth from his skin seep over to his own.

“I shouldn’t have lost my temper then. You were so vulnerable, you still are, and had just started your healing process… there was just so much going through my mind that it was like I completely just lost it…. I was so relieved to have you back, but at times… it seemed like you didn’t want to be there, and it took me so long to realize that you had every right to feel that way. You were treated like shit before going on that mission.”

Lance sniffled, leaning into Keith. His sobs had conceded, but tears still trickled down his cheeks. “I’m still unsure Keith- some days I feel really happy here, and then others… I don’t know, I feel out of whack. I feel like there’s a piece of me missing still, that sometimes doesn’t feel all that bad when it’s gone, but sometimes it just aches and aches and aches. I’m so confused.”

Keith bit his lip. He pulled Lance in closer, wrapping his arm around him. His head rested on his shoulder as he continued to cry, hand moving up to grip the other boy’s sleeve. Was this the moral support Shiro gave Lance? Hugged him, and let him cry on his shoulder? Comfort him, talk to him? Be a friend? Because if that was it, he was so in. 110%. He needed Lance to feel better- Keith only hoped the pretty cuban boy couldn’t hear his heart pounding.

“We all love you so much on this ship, Lance.”

 

* * *

Keith had left Lance’s room a couple of hours ago. His last words still rang through Lance’s mind, loud and clear- they gave a sort of hope, an uplifting feeling in his stomach. It followed him, trailing him like a lost dog as he ate supper with everyone else, more chipper than he had been for weeks, happily eating his favourite meal Hunk had made for him.

But Lance wanted to be alone now. He wanted time to think by himself, without everybody else around him- he wanted the silence. It was soothing to him, and it helped him to map out his feelings.

After what Keith had said to him, he had a lot to figure out. What had he meant by ‘love?’ It was obviously platonic for Shiro, Hunk, Coran, Pidge and Allura, but… Keith never said that type of stuff. But, Lance was just being irrational, right? It was probably just a slip of the tongue, Keith probably didn’t even realize what he said. Platonic. Keith would never think that way towards Lance. Ridiculous.

Lance continued to walk through the halls, mulling over his thoughts in the comfortable silence. The air was still, but he didn’t mind it. He was used to it now- exploring the castle and it’s many hallways was a thing Lance had picked up.

He was doing alright. Not as bad as he was. But something was eating at him.

It had started as a dull pain- Lance couldn’t locate where it was, or why he was feeling it, but he could feel it. It had started when Keith had come in to talk to him, and he had simply just ignored it, but the pain was starting to get stronger now. It radiated through him, sharp and searing. Lance kept walking- maybe walking would brush it off, maybe he just had to stretch out his limbs a little more, get whatever that was in his system out.

So he walked,

and walked, 

and walked. 

Before he was almost dragging himself into his room. The pain was so much more worse now. It came in flashes, searing hot, then ice cold, causing him to flop down onto his bed, shaking. His teeth chattered, but his forehead sweat, and all he could do was grip onto his sheets.

It hurt, it hurt so bad, but then it all went away. It was gone, as quickly as the flashes had come- leaving only the dull ache he had felt before. Lance took a few moments to catch his breath, still clutching onto his bed sheets, before pushing himself up, panting.

What was that? Why was he suddenly feeling this way? It wasn’t the food or anything, it wasn’t like he had been poisoned- Hunk had been very careful with the types of food he gave Lance now.

Maybe he had caught some sort of flash alien stomach flu? He hadn’t thrown up or anything, but… Flu’s could still feel like that, right?

Shaking his head slowly, Lance got up, and made his way over to the bathroom, turning on the sink to splash some water onto his face. He could still feel the remnants of feeling so hot, yet so cold at the same time- it made him feel all gross.

So Lance shed his clothes, instead opting to take a shower. He carefully turned on the faucets, adjusting them to the right temperature, before stepping in, letting the droplets of water soothe his skin.

The ache wouldn’t go away. Lance didn’t know what was wrong with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, what's happening with Lance? Well, maybe some stuff from the previous chapters will give you a clue in. (; 
> 
> ALSO KEITH HAS SOMEWHAT RECOGNIZED HIS FEELINGS FOR LANCE. He's not as stupid as we thought. Well, maybe he is. 
> 
> But also, Lance's confused? I don't think Lance really knows how he's feeling right now- everything is just really out of whack for him, but he's getting a bit better- hence him flying the blue lion again. 
> 
> Yeah- sorry this chapter isn't filled with as much like bang and action, but I feel like it was a really important one. But don't worry a lot of drama will be coming up soon! 
> 
> I have to tell you guys that school's started for me now, and I have quite a lot of classes and stuff, so chapters might become limited to only 1 or two a week- I don't have anything pre-written, I write all of my chapters just before I post them, so I'm sorry about that, but I promise I'll keep them around the regular ~4000 words per chapter. I hope you guys will understand!
> 
> As always, I LOVE all of your comments and feedback. If you want to give me criticism too, go for it. I really love writing and anything that will help me grow and learn as a writer is highly welcomed! 
> 
> Thank you all!!!


	10. White Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -vomiting warning

Lance stifled a groan as he waddled away from the training area, clutching his side. One might think it was because he just had his ass handed to him by Keith, but it was so, so much more. The pain he has felt a couple weeks ago? It felt like it had quadrupled itself. He was literally on fire. Every step that he took made his teeth clench against themselves, grinding away against the pain.

It was almost unbearable.

Lance was having a hard time concealing it. For the first little bit, he had no problem- a little pain couldn’t get him down. He thought of it like period cramps, except he didn’t get them and had no experience what they felt like- but from what pidge had said, it was kind of spot on, except the ache was with his whole body, not his lower abdomen. But now, there was no way he could relate his pain to period cramps. This… this was, he couldn’t even put it into words.

He let out a small gasp as he took another step forward, stumbling, hand reaching out to catch himself on the wall. Lance panted. He had really gotten worse- before training, walking was at least somewhat feasible. Now, he wasn’t even sure if he could make it back to his room.

Clenching his jaw, Lance looked forward- his room wasn’t that far away, just down the hall and around the corner. He could do this.  His hand wrapped tighter around his side, and he slowly took more steps. One after the other; sweat beaded on his forehead. It seemed like it took like forever, and Lance wondered if the pain he felt could be considered worse than torture, but he made it. He stood quivering in front of his room, the door sliding open. He’d take a shower, lay down, sleep- sleep was the only thing Lance felt like he could enjoy now-a-days. Except for maybe flying Blue. But once this flu was over, (things had to get worse before they got better, right?) he’d feel much better. Much more like himself.

Lance took one step into his room, before a voice called out his name. Cursing lightly under his breath, he painfully turned his neck to see who it was.

Hunk.

The larger boy looked at him quizzingly, the corners of his mouth turned over into a small frown. Worry glittered his dark brown eyes.

“You okay there buddy? You don’t seem so well… your face is kinda pale… Are you sick, or something? Do you want me to get Coran?”

Lance’s muscles clenched up as a wave of a new, white-hot flash took over him- he let out a tiny breath, cursing everything in existence. There was the normal pain that resided with him normally, and then there were the waves. They came at any time, but Lance normally tried to ride them out in the privacy in his own room- they… they were the things that got him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine... “ The Cuban boy gritted through clenched teeth, a hand propping himself up against the door frame, and his knees began to grow weak underneath him.

“I think I’m just tired, that’s all. Maybe dehydrated… I haven’t drank a lot these couple day. But I should be fine, haha. I think I’m going to take a nap now, rest my muscles ‘cuz Keith really whipped my ass out there… See you later, Hunk.”

Hunk’s frown grew even deeper as he looked over Lance, and his body position. He had noticed that the boy had shuddered, and his breaths had become heavier- he knew that something was obviously bothering Lance, but he didn’t know whether or not to push it. He wasn’t sure if Lance really just needed privacy, and a little sleep, or if something else was going on.

Seemingly decided, the yellow paladin left Lance with an unsure nod.

The boy groaned, stepping into his room, where the door closed behind him. Immediately, Lance lurched forward, grabbing the small garbage can that stood to his left, vomiting into it. Bile burned Lance’s throat, causing him to retch and gag more, spitting into the can. Another wave of pain made him  hunch over once more, but nothing came out. Swearing under his breath, Lance wiped at his mouth, his breath sour.

With the new waves of pain rolling in, Lance found something else affecting him too: an overwhelming desire to see Lotor. It was strange, and a little frightening really. While Lance often thought of his prince, idly while he went throughout his day on the ship, or sometimes more achingly as he lay alone in his bed at night, missing his warm presence, nothing was quite as strong as this. It was like the pain itself, rolling in in waves, crashing and tumbling against him, leaving him breathless and panting. And when they stopped, it was an ache that burned throughout his body- not quite as immobilizing as the waves, but still very, very present.

He was sure he was going crazy. There was no other word to describe it- nobody felt this strongly for someone they loved. Or… thought they loved. Lance didn’t know. He was confused- he had loved Lotor when he was with him, but when he was taken away, and left without the prince’s presence, he couldn’t help but question whether or not that love was real, or worship towards a captor. 

The team treated Lotor like he was the devil himself. They tried to explain to Lance about how he was a prisoner to Lotor, never to be let go again, only fooled by his sweet words and comforts, but- weren’t they the same? Wasn’t the castle a prison in itself? Everyone, except or Allura and Coran were somewhat forced to become Paladins- made to leave their families without so much as a goodbye, making them think they were dead, all for the mission. Sure, each paladin had technically accepted their position, but… it was really hard to say no when you had been through the shock of seeing the lion, actually going up into space and given an ultimatum: ‘come with us and be paladins of this universe or else the galra empire is going to take over your home planet.’ Lance hadn't even been able to tell his Mama that he loved her.

So… how different was being ‘a prisoner of Lotor’   to being a paladin?

None of that explained his overwhelming need to see the prince, though. It was almost as if Lance would burn up on the inside if he didn’t get to be close to him once again. It was irrational, harmful and sickening. Nobody on his team would ever catch wind.

* * *

 

“Shiro, I think I really hurt Lance, and I don’t know what to do about it,” Keith’s words came out a little rushed, a hint of panic lacing his voice as he stood facing his leader, arms crossed, foot tapping worriedly. “He had to practically drag himself out of the training room this afternoon, and he wouldn’t let me help him- Shiro what if I did something really wrong? I didn’t mean to be so rough, but he just kind of shuddered and crumbled to the floor after one hit!” Keith’s previous anger towards Shiro seemed to have had blown over- the kiss between Lance and him seemingly forgotten,

“I don’t think it was you, Keith. I think Lance might be sick- Hunk was talking to me earlier about how he was worried about him. Apparently he was panting and shivering while trying to get back to his room.” Shiro’s expression was thoughtful, though a little worried as he spoke with the red paladin.

“You mentioned me?” Hunk walked in, hearing the tail end of the two boy’s conversation. Pidge trailed after him, holding a piece of tech in her hands.

“We were talking about how you mentioned Lance acting strangely after our training session this afternoon.” Shiro explained quickly, waving the two into a small circle to talk.

“Right! I don’t know man, he seemed really… off, kinda. Like he was in a lot of pain- kind of when Pidge is having cramps because of her  _ you know what- _ ouch! What was that for?!” The larger teen yelped as a bony elbow was driven into his side.

“I told you to just call them periods, Hunk! It makes me feel weird when you say it like it’s voldemort or something.It’s natural. Get over it. ” Pidge’s voice was indignant, as she looked up towards him.

“Guys! Focus! Lance could be in serious trouble or something!” Keith snapped, casting the two a scowl. Shiro didn’t even bother scolding him for being too brash with the others.

“Sorry,” Hunk sounded guilty as he recoiled, “ah, like when Pidge is having her.. Period, but like ten times worse. I asked him if he was okay, but it really seemed like he just wanted his privacy and he went into his room. I swear I heard him puke  as I walked away, but that could have just been my imagination.”

“Hmm, if he really was throwing up, then I think it might be serious. We don’t want him to be getting any sicker than he is, incase it might really affect his health…” Shiro sounded worried, but he remained calm at the same time. Keith on the other hand, seemed raring to go, his muscles tensed, fists clenched- he was like a racehorse chomping at the bit to go see if Lance was okay.

“He keeps telling me that he’s fine, though- he hides it pretty well too, so I think he might be wanting to keep it a secret from us all.” Hunk added in. “But I think it’s getting pretty obvious at this point.”

“Well then, someone should go to check on him.” Pidge piped up, still clenching onto her piece of technology. “If he’s totally sick, we should bring him to the medical bay and let Coran know so we can help him. If you guys get his symptoms I can search the database to see if there’s any sickness, and what it takes to be cured.” Her eyes flashed a bit beneath her glasses- like everyone else on the ship, the girl wanted to make everything up to Lance for the 6 months he spent being held captive by Lotor, and also for the times before that.

“That sounds like a good plan Pidge- I’ll go let Coran and Allura know about this situation here.” Shiro concluded. He looked over to Hunk and Keith, “can one of you go actually check on Lance? He’s still in his room- make sure he’s not dying and assess the situation for us.”

“I’ll do it.” Keith was quick to accept the role, stepping forward with a hand up, before quickly exiting the room, heading towards Lance’s room. He barely gave any time for anybody else to get a word in before he was gone.

“Well, there should still be a lot for me to do!” Hunk sounded optimistic, “I’m going to gather a bunch of blankets for Lance and wash his sheets and stuff- especially if he’s been sweating or throwing up in them. I’ll also see if I can make some soup or anything… soup’s the best when you’re sick.” He seemed to be reminiscent of the past, but quickly snapped out of it. “So yeah, I’m out! Once Lance is in the med bay, and they know what’s wrong with him, call me though. I want to make sure he’s alright.”

Shiro nodded, sending Hunk off.

“And I’ll see if I can search up any common space illnesses in the meantime. Like Hunk said, call me too.” Pidge was brisk as she walked out, heading over to the room where she had set up all her lab tech.

Shiro sighed, worried. He turned to head up into the main control room, where he knew Coran and Allura would be situated.

What if Lance was really, really sick and they all just hadn’t noticed?

* * *

 

Keith was horrified at the sight he saw in front of him- Lance sprawled out across his bedroom floor, passed out, covered in sweat with a dribble of bile coming from his mouth, pooling on the floor. From the smell, he vomited in the trash can.

His heart raced as he bent down to press a hand against the boy’s forehead- it was searing to the touch. Even Keith, with his limited amount of medical knowledge knew that Lance was running a dangerously high fever.

But he was breathing.

When he had first walked in, he had thought Lance was dead, by the way he was laying- his heart at almost stopped, but now Keith was still very scared. What if it was incurable? So many thoughts ran through his head, that it took him a second to realize that he needed to get Lance off of the floor. Quickly, he reached out, gently shaking Lance’s shoulders.

The Cuban boy groaned, coming to, bt slumped back over again. Keith bit his lip- sliding his hands underneath him to that he could pick him up. He could feel the boy’s heat radiating off of him even through his clothes.  Quickly, he took out the com he kept in his pocket and contacted Shiro. 

“Lance is like, literally on fire. He’s so hot right now Shiro, and he was passed out- he’s breathing but he threw up, and he’s definitely sick. Get Coran to meet me at the med bay immediately.”

 

* * *

“I can feel it. I can feel it working.” Lotor’s voice was low, as an ominous grin broke out across his face. “I can feel Lance’s presence getting closer to mine-- the bond, it worked!”

He let out a laugh as he faced Haggar, reaching out to take a sip from his cup. They were both seated at a large table- the same table where he and Lance had eaten together for the first time.  

“With the bond now in place, you must be getting a ceremony ready for when your little paladin comes back, Lotor,” Haggar pointed out, her wrinkly fingers gripped around a fork and knife as she slowly cut her piece of meat, slice by slice.

“Hmm, you’re right- I want it to happen as quickly as possible. With a ceremony in place, the legal factors of everything would come together. We will then be bonded by the eyes of the Galra, and the soul.”  Lotor seemed to like that.

“Are you going to follow traditional ceremony customs?” The mage questioned.

“Of course. That is the only way to go, is it not? I’m sure my little warrior won’t mind one bit- after all, he’ll be able to wear white. The human ceremonies are quite similar to ours in the way of colour.”

“And in any other ways?”

The prince scoffed. “Of course not. They do not go through such trials as the Galra do. But I’m sure my bondmate will get through them quite nicely with me. They might even be fun- a many couples have completed them with a sense of pride, have they not?”

“But the humans do not know our ways.” Haggar rasped, “they do not have such trials. Do you really expect him to get through them with such ease?” She sounded skeptical.

Lotor’s eyes narrowed, and he looked towards the lady with scorn. “Of course! He has me! Not to mention we’ll be fully bonded by then- that always gives one an advantage! How dare you question my ability!”

Haggar did not react- she slowly kept cutting her meat, the scrape of the knife against the fibers just barely noticeable.

“If you say so.”  

Lotor sniffed, his expression turning into a scowl. “The Blue Paladin will be mine- mine forever. Once I have him in my grasps, he will never leave again- I will never let him out. The bond won’t allow it. Passing the trials isn’t something that I’m concerned about.”

* * *

 

Lance was writhing in Keith’s arms- he had woken up halfway through being carried to the medical bay, and seemed to be in immense pain.

He screamed. He writhed. He tried to throw up again, but all that landed on Keith's shirt was a little bit of bile, acidic and putrid.

But Keith didn’t mind- he hardly even noticed it- all that was on his mind right now was to hang onto this boy and get him to where he could be treated. He had no idea what was going on- what was going through Lance’s body, why he was in so much pain. But he was terrified- he wasn’t sure if Lance was going to live, or die, or what was even wrong with him!

Surely a flu couldn’t amount to something this bad?

Lance’s screams were getting a little hard to listen to, and his squirming body made it really hard for Keith to actually hang on properly- he had to use all of the muscle that he had built up in his forearms throughout the years to keep a firm grip on him.

By the time they reached the medical bay, Keith was panting, his heart beating so loud out of his chest, he had half a mind to think it would fall out. Shiro and Coran immediately rushed to him, seeing the state of Lance. His screams and groans filled the air, as he was set down against the table, rolling, clutching his sides.

They tried to ask him questions. Where did he hurt, what was wrong with him, but Lance was too incoherent to speak. He could only choke out words in Spanish, but even the castle’s translator couldn’t turn them into anything more productive than incoherent babbling.

Pidge and Hunk had come rushing in when Lance’s yells and shouts had reached their end of the castle, apparently echoing through the vents they seemed frenzied and taken aback- well, everyone was except for Coran and Shiro. Allura had come in swiftly after them, biting her lip and demanding to be told what was wrong- nobody had an answer for her, which led to pacing and fretting.

Finally, finally, after Coran had no luck with trying to diagnose Lance himself, he had kicked everyone out- he needed to put the medical suit on Lance to pop him in the pod to see what was going on. With a quick needed jabbed into the teen’s upper arm, he passed out again, lying limp against the cool table. After he was modestly dressed again, the older man allowed everybody back into the room- on the condition that they would stay calm and collected during Lance’s diagnose.

It was a hard act to follow, but everybody stayed relatively calm as he was placed into the pod- his expression still fleetingly pained, even now, as he was asleep.

For the first few minutes that the machine buzzed and whirred, there was a thick tension in the air, everybody holding their breaths to see what his condition was. It was a sick waiting game, hopes rising and then falling as text began to form on the pod’s screen, before flicking away, apparently re-routed. Keith wanted to punch it. Why couldn’t it just make Lance better already?! He had gone through enough suffering as it is- why should he go through more? Why did Lance catch this- did the gods have some sort of grudge against him?

Keith scowled at the glass, his gaze so intense, it was like he was willing the machine to make up it’s conclusion with his mind. Finally, something popped up onto the screen, in Altean.

He looked up to Coran to see what it read, but he was shocked to see the ginger man’s face pale. Allura white as a sheet right next to him.

“What? What is it?!” Keith demanded, his voice rising, fists clenched. “Tell us! We need to know!” He hated the silence from the two.

Coran swallowed hard, his expression still deeply troubled, skin still clammy. He turned towards the rest of the Paladins, eyes grave, somber.

“Lance has been bonded.”

Nobody except the Alteans knew what that was, but it still didn’t stop Hunk from getting teary-eyed.

“What does that mean?” Shiro asked quietly, his voice shaking a little bit. He was as worried for his teammate as everybody else.

Coran looked a little shocked to see that they didn’t know what he meant. He shifted a little, uncharacteristically lost for words. “A bond… is something a few races of Aliens did a very, very long time ago- Alteans included. Its… when two souls are connected so deeply that they actually feel each other’s presence, and feel pain if they’re away from each other for too long- it was once used for people who were very much in love with each other.” He drew in a breath.

“ It was once a very noble and romantic thing to do- one that you would read about in books, and often what royalty would do. However, an exploit was found from this bond- if one person was given a drink made specifically out of Gylrt juice, they would initiate the bonding process- both would technically be tied, but only one would feel the pain of being away from the other. It was often used as a strategic move, to have more power over the other. It seems like Lance… has been subject to that very same Gylrt juice, and is going through the pain of being away from his bonded.”

Everybody except for Allura was looking at Coran with mixtures of horror on their face- how could something like this be real? It sounded like something out of a jumbled up fairy tale! The princess looked like she couldn’t even believe what was going on- for once she looked broken, and beaten down. It was as if Lance had died, but he was there, right in front of everybody, in the pod. Lance wasn’t dead.

The paladins were too shocked for words, before Shiro stood forward to speak. 

“What happens if a bonded pair are away from each other for a long time? Will they just feel pain?” He hardly seemed to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

Coran’s expression changed. “They feel tremendous pain. Far worse than any pain imaginable- there have been accounts of people saying that it’s like being lit on fire, but never being able to roll away from the flames.. Many separated bonds have ended their lives after more than a couple weeks away from their bonded, due to this fact. After no more than 4, they will die regardless. Their bodies won’t be able to handle it- if one bonded dies, the other will quickly follow after.”

Horrified gasps collected through the room- Hunk’s lip quivered and Keith felt nauseous. Was Lance going to die? How much pain was he actually in? Allura looked shell shocked still, quiet, without words.

“So Lance… are you sure he’s actually been bonded? Positive?” Shiro’s voice was tight, desperate to be proved wrong.

Coran nodded. “He is most definitely bonded. I should have recognized the signs sooner, but such a thing has not been seen throughout the universe since before my time.  I had thought all doings of such a thing have long since passed. It’s truly… a shock to see something like this.” His voice broke. He seemed devastated- something that worried Keith more than anything.

It hadn’t quite sunk in, however. Keith felt like he was in denial- this couldn’t be happening, right? But the only thought in his mind, was who could have possibly done such a thing?

“Who did it?” Keith was too shocked to properly use his head.

Coran looked at him, an unimaginable sadness welling through his eyes.

“Prince Lotor.”

Keith punched a wall and broke his hand, the crack of his bones crunching against the hard surface ringing throughout the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to get out- school has taken me by swarm. I have 7 books to read and annotate and write a report on and I think I'm going to die. I wrote this whole thing in one night. I'm dead. 
> 
> But I love writing this fanfic, and I love you guys! 
> 
> What do you guys think? Shit's getting serious- the bond had for sure worked now. So what's going to happen? Is Lance going to go back to Lotor? If he doesn't, is he going to die? What is the team going to do about it? SO MUCH MYSTERY AHAHAHA 
> 
> But honestly I love you guys so much and any criticism or even suggestions are very warmly welcomed!!
> 
> Thanks!


	11. The Cure

When Hunk had asked how much time Lance had left, Coran had stayed silent for a few moments. Allura had looked away, her lower lip quivering, eyes wet with tears. It seemed as if Lance was dead already.  Coran had said a week and a half. 

Keith couldn’t believe it. Well, it wasn’t actually that hard to believe, if you counted how long Lance had been on the ship for, but the thing was… he had already passed the time for when many people went delirious with pain from being so far from their bonded. He had been functioning. Walking around-  _ Lance had been sparring with Keith just a couple of hours ago.  _ Everyone had realized there was something off about him, but he hid his pain so well that nobody had actually seen what was going on.

Keith had a suspicious feeling they were going through the repeats of Lance’s time before he got kidnapped. And it hurt him, because Lance wasn't supposed to be in pain. This was supposed to be the time where he was going to rest and relax, and he was doing exactly the opposite of that. He was suffering this whole time and nobody knew about it.

“We’re going to leave him in the pod until we can find a cure for this.” Shiro had concluded- his expression was grim, but hope was not lost. He truly believed that they would find a cure. “Coran, will it give us any more time to figure things out?” 

The ginger man shook his head. “Nothing slows down this ailment. But keeping him in the pods will keep him out of pain for the time being, which I think would be best.”

Allura bit her lip. Her hands clenched the fabric of her dress. Slowly, she raised her head, lips parting. “I… It hurts me to say this, but… we should, be prepared…” Her voice shook and Keith flashed her a glare.

How could she think of that already! Lance wasn’t going to die! Not after they had just got him back!  “Shut up.” He snarled, “I’m not going to prepare for anything, because Lance isn’t going to die, got that? I told him he would get to see his family again, to talk to his Mama, and I’m not going to go back on my promise, so he’d better fucking live.”

A warm hand rested on Keith’s shoulder- Shiro. Their leader was trying to comfort him, but Keith wasn’t going to be comforted. Shaking it off, he turned to Pidge. “I’m going to help you look for a cure on the database. If two people are looking, then maybe we’ll find something faster. Let’s go.”

The green paladin looked hesitant for a second, wondering whether or not having Keith helping her would actually be useful, but any doubts she had vanished in a second as he walked out of the room. Her eyes hardened. If Keith was this sure about finding a cure, then she would be too.  

“I’ll see you guys later. Call us if anything happens.”

Hunk, Shiro, Allura and Coran watched Pidge leave, silent, except for Hunk’s hiccuping breaths. The yellow paladin wasn’t seeming to take it well- his best friend was dying and he didn’t know what to do about it. 

“G-Guys, could you maybe l-leave me alone here for a bit, I-I just… I need some alone time with Lance. I’ll take charge keeping an eye on his vitals.” The large teen was hardly able to choke out, a hand resting on the glass of the pod. 

Shiro nodded, looking to Coran for agreement- the man’s expression was soft as he looked over Hunk. There seemed to be something knowing behind his eyes, not quite grief or sadness, but… like he had gone through something exactly the same before.

All three of them silently left the room, the door sliding closed behind them, as Hunk continued to cry, weeping, telling Lance how sorry he was. He told him stories of when they were in the Garrison together, and about the one time Hunk went home with Lance for spring break and how great his family was, and how awesome the beaches were back home and how he wanted to go surfing with him again.

All Lance’s best friend wanted was for him to be okay again.

 

* * *

Keith sat in front of the screen, staring at it, going through the information. His eyes itched and he felt them droop, but he was determined to keep looking- Pidge was beside him, scanning her own bit of information, the only sound between the two was the clicking of the mouse and the occasional sigh. They were having no luck- everything about this bonding seemed to be permanent.

One thing that surprised him though, was how many societies had actually taken on this whole bonding business. The Alteans, of course, the Galra, (that was expected) and many, many more. But the more he read, the more final things seemed to be, there didn’t seem to be a cure. However, he and Pidge were only getting started at scanning every planet’s bonds- there was bound to be one that would give them the answer! Keith just had to believe this.

He had to believe for Lance, he had to keep pushing forward, forgetting about sleep and how much his body ached for him to lie down, because Lance’s life was on the line. He would die if they didn’t find a cure, or… or they would have to give him back to Lotor.

Keith couldn’t even stand the thought of handing Lance over, all weak and in pain, because he knew Lotor would take advantage of him, like he was done all those times previous. No. It wouldn’t come to that. Lance wouldn’t die, and he wouldn’t go back. He would be cured. They would find something.

Keith was ready to give his life for it.   

* * *

Lotor paced around his room- the same one where Lance had slept every night, where he had held the blue paladin, felt his soft skin against his own. He remembered how warm the bed was with him in it, and now he hated crawling in it, alone, feeling the cold seep into his bones.

Of course, he had people warm it once or twice since Lance’s escape, but they weren’t the same. He could see the terror in their eyes- how they were scared to do anything other than to obey. Lotor didn’t like that. He missed the love he saw, he felt- the complete worship. Lance obeyed because he loved him, not because he was scared of him.

So why wasn’t he back by now? He knew for certain that the bond was in place- he could feel his tether to the boy like he was a part of him, he could sense that Lance was in distress, but still. The boy hadn’t shown up. His little soldier hadn’t made an appearance.

Which raised the question: What if he simply couldn’t? What if he was being tied up, forced to stay on the castle, held a prisoner? The prince growled at the thought- only  _ he   _ was allowed to do such things to his mate. Those Paladins didn’t know a thing about what he had with Lance- had they corrupted him? Brainwashed him, convinced him of all the things Lotor had tried to wipe from his brain? Had all his hard work gone down the drain?

His hand slammed down on the dresser, causing it to shake and rattle. His eyes narrowed as one of the drawers opened slightly, revealing one of Lance’s shirts- white and flowing, slightly see-through. Of how he loved seeing the slight hint of Lance’s skin underneath it, soft and welcoming. The hint of fat around his hips that had accumulated, the way his muscles rippled when he trained.

He brought the shirt up to his nose, nostrils flaring- Lance’s scent was still laced on it, sweet, and warm. Lotor’s hands clutched the fabric, rubbing it between his fingers. He brought his face away from it, exhaling slowly, his pupils narrowing.

No. His mate would have been back by now if there wasn’t something wrong. He wanted to see him again. To trace the scars he left on the boy’s back, to leave more as a punishment for being away so long. It was like this desire flowed through his blood veins, as if he was always thirsty for more, and Lotor knew he needed to quench it.

Setting the shirt down, he straightened himself out, and reached for his comm- turning it on, speaking commandingly into it.

“Get my ship and the fleet ready. But first, turn on the video messaging system. I have a little message to send out to the team Voltron.”

 

* * *

Lotor’s face flashed across the screen, and he looked unlike anything team Voltron had ever seen- there was an insanity in his eyes, wild and feral. He looked like an animal, teeth bared, fangs long and glinting in the light.

“You have something of mine,” He hissed, eyes narrowing. “You must know of the bond between Lance and I know- he is in pain, I can feel it. Do you wish for him to die? To go crazy? To be in so much pain that he wants to end his life? It seems as if you do, because you won’t let him come back to me.” The prince’s words were sharp, angry- more emotional and less conniving.

“Give him back to me. He belongs with me now. We are in ‘love’ as you humans call it. We are bonded.” His eyes shifted over to Coran and Allura- the two Alteans aboard the ship. “You two know of what I speak about. You know the laws- especially of Voltron. ‘To never keep a bonded pair separated from each other if both are still alive.’  _ I am alive, I am his bonded. Give him back to me before he dies at the hands of Voltron.  _ If you do not accept, I will take him for myself, and I will bring my fleet with me.” 

Keith glared at the prince, his eyes dark enough to kill. “We’ll never give him back to you! Fucking ‘rules’ or not- you forced that onto him! He doesn’t belong to you, and he never will! Go fuck yourself, Lotor!”

The Prince frowned, and his eyes snapped to everyone around him. “Do you all believe the same thing, or is one of you going to give my bonded back to me?”

Hunk was the first to step forward next to Keith, his expression hard. “Never.”

Shiro and Pidge followed next, their expressions stubborn and full of hatred. 

Allura and Coran were more hesitant- giving each other looks, like as if they were weighing the situation- they knew more about this bond than anyone else on the ship. However finally, they too, stepped forward, joining the group going against Lotor’s demand.

“You’ll never have Lance back Lotor- forget about it.”

Lotor sniffed, his expression turning more sour than before. “Fine. Have it your way then- this was going to be a peaceful negotiation, but seeing as you won’t give me what I want, I’ll have to take it myself and destroy your castle while I do so.”

The screen turned black.

 

* * *

“Everyone- to your Lions! We must prepare for an immediate attack!” Allura’s voice was commanding, though shaking the slightest bit- she never thought that something like this would ever happen, where their enemy was fighting them for one of their paladins. Her expression hardened. Lotor wouldn’t get a hold of Lance ever again.

The Paladins shot down the shoots to their Lions- fully decked out in their armour, and everything. Allura followed, her own suit on and gun with her- she couldn’t use the blue bayard because they didn’t have it. It, along with the blue paladin suit lay in the hands of Lotor. 

The blue lion let her in, which was a relief to her- Allura had been scared that she wouldn’t be allowed to pilot it again since Lance was back, but the Lion seemed to understand that her paladin wasn’t able to fly. She felt the familiar rumble in the back of her mind- Blue linking with her for the ride. 

Coran took up the castle- readying its defenses and putting up it’s shield. It was good that everything was in tip-top shape. Given the circumstances, the ginger man decided to put it in lockdown mode- nobody would be able to get in or out until he deactivated it- once the threat of Lotor was gone.

Everybody held their breaths as the waited for Lotor to appear- and appear he did. With his fleet behind him, large and ominous. Allura let her breath go, as she heard Shiro shouting his commands from his Lion- to take down as many fleet ships as they could while he went after Lotor himself.

The rush of battle quickly went through everyone’s mind as their fight began- laser immediately being thrown at them, and reciprocated back. It wasn’t something Allura was quite used to- after all, she was always at the command center with Coran, but after the 6 months of being Lance’s replacement, she was good enough to hold her own in a battle like this, after experiencing them a couple times.

It was if the only thing everybody thought about was destroying those ships- working together like a perfectly oiled machine, but they kept coming, and coming, and coming- Allura has quickly become more aware that they were inching closer and closer towards the looser side of everything. But she pushed on, gaining more and more momentum as the Blue Lion worked with her- she seemed to know that Lance’s life was in danger, and if they didn’t win, he would be dead.

Shots were firing, and there was the rush of blood going through Allura’s head as she took down a couple, dodging their own attacks. But they kept coming towards her, and it was becoming increasingly hard to keep herself from being hit. The fleeters seemed to catch onto this- targeting just her instead of everyone else, latching onto the weakest link.

The princess made it for a few minutes, calling out for help before she was hit, sending her lion tumbling back, crashing into Hunk and Pidge who had come to her aid. Keith and Shiro were fighting together not too far off- going against Lotor. They, too seemed to be on the losing side of things.

Shots started to be made towards the castle- and Coran was suddenly calling them through the comms, telling them he needed back up and that the ship’s defenses were failing. Nobody was free enough to help- everybody stuck in place, just trying their best not to be blasted into oblivion.

That’s when Allura knew. They wouldn’t win this fight- Lotor had brought too many, had too much desire in his eyes. It was like trying to stop a bull going after a heifer in heat- it was impossible.

Unless they hid the heifer away.

“Everyone!” Allura screamed, hardly able to dodge a rather large laser, “fall back to the castle! We need to retreat- Coran, open the doors for us and get ready to warp!”

The team was barely able to get away in time, just managing to get into the castle doors and have them shut before the whole fleet followed them in through the barrier shield.  

“Coran! Warp! Warp now!”

“But Princess- where?” 

“Anywhere! Anywhere away from here!”

The adviser obliged. Quickly, the familiar feeling of jumping through space took over everybody, shaking and rumbling in their Lions. The roar of battle stopped. Everything was still. 

Allura took a breath. “Everyone, go down to command room and buckle in. We need to make a large jump, far in enough in space where Lotor’s fleet won’t be able to find us.” She was shaken. Well, everyone was shaken in this situation- the lions had been damaged, and they had obviously lost the fight. But at least Lance was safe. 

 

* * *

Keith stepped into the command room, his breaths coming in in pants, his black hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. His body ached from receiving all the hits he had back there, in the battle- he knew that his Lion was worse off. They had retreated, and warped out. And now they needed to do it again so that Lotor wouldn’t find them.

He sat down in his seat next to Shiro, who looked drained. Blood was dripping from a gash in his cheek, -probably from when he his head against his lion when he took one of the shots for Keith- but he didn’t seem to notice. The man sat down in his chair, looking at Allura and Coran as they prepared for the next warp.

Pidge was fine- a little shaken but fine, her little body sitting up straight in it’s chair, hands gripping the handles. Hunk, was shaken but not too physically hurt. Keith knew that everybody would have bruises the next day- the beating they had taken was unlike anything else they had ever experienced. Wait no. There were a couple times when they were beaten out this bad, but it still sucked.

Keith only felt anger. He wanted to kill Lotor. But the hesitancy in him made him hold back- he knew that Lotor was Lance’s bonded, and he knew the consequences if Lotor died. There seemed to be no solution to this. To everything. They needed to find a way to fix things.

“Everyone hang on- we’re doing a major jump here and it might rattle the ship a bit. Don’t worry about Lance- his pod is secured very tightly.”

Keith closed his eyes as the rumble took over the castle.

* * *

They were in the deepest reaches of space. They had stayed there for 3 days now. Keith felt like he was at his wit’s end. His days and nights were spent combing through information with Pidge- barely eating, the most sleep he had gotten was a 30 minute nap. Hunk gave them the space equivalent of coffee every few hours, which was probably the only reason he and Pidge had gotten so far in such a short amount of time.

But everything was still, frustratingly blank. All the information talked about the pain the bonded felt if they were gone for too long, the longest time someone had lasted (5 weeks, such a shocker) and the reports of what some bonds said before they died about how things felt. It was bleak. It sucked the happiness from both he and Pidge. The team was worried. The team was broken. 

But Lance wasn’t dead yet.

Keith could see that every time he went to visit his pod- the steady beat of his heart, the troubled expression on the boy’s face. Keith knew he wasn’t in pain at that moment, but he knew of the pain that he had felt, just before being knocked out. Lance didn’t even know about the bond. He knew he was sick, but he didn’t know how sick- perhaps he had genuinely felt like it was just the space flu? But then that wouldn’t explain his cravings towards wanting to be with Lotor. Keith wondered how conflicted the boy would have felt during those times, wondered how much Lance had considered going back to him. He wondered why Lance hadn’t already, if he was in so much pain- why had he decided to stay?

The raven boy shook his head, as he continued to look at the screen, scrolling through the information trying to spot something new. This went on for a while more- Keith wasn’t sure how many hours had passed before Pidge had made a sound.

It was a choking sound- he had turned over to see if she was choking on her drink or something, but it certainly, most definitely wasn’t that. She looked at the screen, her eyes wide, dark, dark circles under her eyes as a hand clasped over her mouth.

“What is it Pidge?” Keith found that his voice was hoarse from such little use- shaking and cracking as he let the words out. “What did you find?” Hope fluttered in his chest.

Slowly her face turned to look at him, tears forming in her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. “I found something. I found something Keith!”

Keith’s eyes grew wide and he quickly turned to grab his comm, yelling at everyone to get their butts in there, that they found something that might help Lance. His heart beat so loud in his chest, drumming so hard that he could feel it in his throat.

Within moments everyone ran into the room, out of breath, one by one- Shiro’s hair was dripping, and his skin was wet. It looked as though he had literally jumped out of the shower to get there, with his clothes haphazardly thrown on.

Coran was still wearing his fuzzy slippers.

“What is it, what did you guys find?” Hunk spoke up, his lips quivering.

“Pidge, tell them, tell them what you saw.”

The girl stood up. She looked nervous as she clutched the back of her chair for support. “It’s… it’s not exactly a cure.” She spouted, “but it could help us keep Lance away from Lotor and have him not feel the pain, or die or anything.”

“Well that sounds like a cure to me!” Keith breathed- he could feel relief flowing through him.

“But… it involves one… one of us being bonded to him.”

His eyes grew wide as he stared at her, surprised.

“What?” 

Coran let out a sigh- his shoulders sinking. He seemed to know this already.

Pidge continued to speak. “We can switch the bond with him over to one of us- Lotor hasn’t seen Lance throughout the bonding process so their bond should technically be weaker than others, which might explain why Lance hasn’t gone… nuts up until now. We can never get rid of Lance’s bond, but it should be better if it’s with one of us, wouldn’t it?”

The paladins murmured their agreement, but the two Alteans kept quiet. Shiro turned to them quizzingly. “What do you two think of this?”

Allura kept her head down, while Coran stepped forward, a grim look on his face. “I remember this now… it… it was something I never wanted to offer because of the nature behind such a thing.”

Keith glared at him, snarling. “You kept the cure away from us? We could have saved Lance by now- he could have been walking, talking- not stuck in that stupid pod! Why the fuck didn’t you tell us?” The blood rushed to his brain, infuriating him as she curled up his fists, ready to punch the ginger man.

Shiro held him back, murmuring something about letting Coran finish.

“I’m sorry, Keith.” The man started, his voice grave. “I should have mentioned it… but it’s a terrible, terrible process, and I wasn’t sure if such a thing even worked- words of this cure were only but a tale among us Alteans, and none of us ever saw such a thing in action. I thought it was just something of fiction.” Coran breathed in, “however, now that we see that this tale could be real, let me tell you about it- yes, indeed it’s possible to switch a bond over. But, the pain felt is said to be ten times worse than the bond pain at it’s last moments- so painful that nobody would ever do it, they’d rather die and go after their bonded than find a new one. But… it’s possible.” His voice trailed off.

Shiro swore under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked ten years older, like the weight of the universe had been put on his shoulders. “Who’s going to be the one to take the bond? We… we won’t blame anybody if they don’t want too- it’s a big decision.

Keith drew a breath in, clenching his fists. “I will.”

Surprise flashed through Shiro’s and the Altean’s eyes.

“Are you sure about this Keith?” Coran gently asked, his voice soft. “Not only would you have to go through the pain of the switching process, but you will be bonded to Lance for life. The bond of a switch is said to be much stronger than the original- you will feel pain if he is gone from you for too long, and vise-versa. It is a very big decision that has very big consequences. It’s already bad seeing as though Lance doesn’t have much of a say in this… perhaps….”

“No!” Keith shouted, not wanting to hear Coran’s next words. “No, I’m not going to let him die. Or go to Lotor. I’ll take up this bond. I’ll work it out with Lance.”

Coran dipped his head, finally accepting Keith’s answer. “Then we should get started right away.”

 

* * *

 

Lance dreamed. He could feel the pull of the outside, but he ignored it- choosing to stay asleep, and away from all the pain that he was aware he’d have once he woke up. He didn’t want to wake up. In his dream world, he got to see his family, visit the beaches, be a normal kid. In his dreams Voltron didn’t exist and there wasn’t a Galran empire looking to take over the universe. Everything was… ordinary and he was happy about that.

But sometimes he dreamed of Keith.

Sometimes he knew he had to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!! A cure for the bond has been figured out- but is it really a cure? How do you think Lance will feel about this? Everything is kind of being decided without him knowing, so like... he's going to be really surprised. Lotor's still crazy as usual- how do you think he'll react to everything? I don't know. 
> 
> Your comments on the last chapter were so lovely! Thank you as always for them!! And all the Kudos and Hits too- I never thought this fic would get this far!!! So thank you!!!


	12. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -vomiting warning

The room was silent as Coran got everything ready. Silent, but there was a tension thick in the air- a quiver almost. It was if everyone was scared to breath, scared to break whatever concentration the ginger man had going. He was the one who held Lance’s life in his hands. 

Keith shook. Not just his hands, his whole body- shaking with anticipation, fear, apprehension. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into. Had no clue. But he was going to do it for Lance- for his friend’s life because he made him a promise. A promise that he’d survive. And not go back to Lotor.

Shiro put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but the older man didn’t seem that well off himself- sweat beaded on his forehead and there was a deep furrow in his brows. Keith knew this was hard on his leader. It was hard on everyone. If the paladins thought that this was what was going to happen to them a year back, anybody would have called them crazy. Asked them what sort of dope they were on. It was still hard to fully take in what was going on now, as all these events rushed past everybody, but there was no doubt that they were happening. This was real, and Keith needed to face it.

He watched as Coran took out the serum. Pidge had found out the ingredients needed to make it, and luckily the ship had everything- apparently their found luck was because of Coran’s vast stock of medical supplies, and the fact that this ‘bond breaking’ had been modernized a bit since the tales back then 10 000 years in the past. How lucky for them.

After the serum had been carefully concocted, Coran had shooed everyone except for Keith outside of the room- he needed to have one last word with Keith before they would wake up Lance and start the process. The painful, horrendous process.

Coran seemed to sigh as the door was shut, leaving the two in silence once more. For once, he seemed so far off from his usual cheerful self- his age really seemed to catch up on him.

“Now… normally I wouldn’t be so apprehensive in the plans to save a Paladin’s life- they are my utmost and greatest concern, after the Princess of course, but…” He trailed off, for a second, before looking back up, directing his eyes into Keith’s. “Are you one hundred percent sure this is what you want, Keith?” It pained him, for not being able to ask Lance the same. “This process could go wrong- not only could Lance die, but you could too. Then we’d be losing not only one Paladin, but two. And even after- the two of you will be bonded in a heightened way… Lance might not be as okay with it as you are.”

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat. He wanted to be angry at Coran for suggesting he not go through with it, but deep down, a part of him understood what the man was saying. This was a permanent solution to something, and after it was done, he could not go back on it. He and Lance would be bonded forever- if they ever strayed too far from each other for too long, they’d be in pain. Lance didn’t have a choice in this.

But this was Lance’s life they were talking about. If he went to Lotor, Keith was sure he would die. That monster would surely torture him- Keith had seen the wild look in the Prince’s eyes.

His resolve hardened, fists clenched against each other, teeth grinding. With one slow nod, the boy confirmed what he wanted to do. He was going to save Lance.

* * *

 

Keith felt the coldness of the medical table seep through his hands as he rested them on it, nervously looking around the room. The team was there, ready to support the both of them- Shiro had practically demanded it, privacy be damned. His brother was going to be going through possibly one of the hardest things in his life. Like hell was he going to wait for him at the other end of the door. Hunk and Pidge had basically the same mentality- fiercely following Shiro into the room. Allura had come too, refusing to let the team go without her support.

Coran had allowed it. He kept quiet as he drew Keith’s blood, and had Lance’s drawn for him, the machine putting all of it in a little syringe for him, filled half-way. Coran filled the other half with the Serum- it mixing in, turning a deep red. Apparently putting a bit of the other’s blood in you with the Serum was what made the bond happen. He bit his lip. Keith’s heart was pounding so fast, he was sure he was going to have a heart attack, or pass out, or something. Not ever was he this scared. Shiro could tell just by looking at him.

Finally, when everything was ready to go, everything laid out in the little tray Coran had set up for himself, the man stood up, straightening up. His eyes turned to Shiro.

“I’ll need you to help me out with this. Both have to be injected at the same time, or else this won’t work.”

The leader looked a little shocked, but he stepped forward, standing beside Keith. He was handed the syringe, and given strict instructions not to administer it until told to. He whispered comforts in Keith’s ear, though they sounded like they were more for himself than anything.

Keith shuddered as Coran took Lance out of the pod, laying him down on the table next to Keith, grabbing his own syringe quickly. The raven haired boy took in a breath quickly, holding it for the next couple of moments before Lance awoke, groaning, confused. Just as soon as the Cuban boy started to writhe with the pain already wracking through his body, Coran gave the signal, and the prick of the needle went into Keith’s arm.

He could feel the serum and blood travelling through his veins. There was a silence- it was deadly, cold… Keith couldn’t feel anything, until all of a sudden, he could.

It had started in his arm, where the serum had been injected, then it just spread out from there, reaching to the tips of his ears all the way down to his toes. It was unlike anything Keith had ever felt before. He let out a choked sound, starting to writhe, before his vision went completely white and his body was taken over. His head rolled back, and he screamed, his limbs lashing out, body twisting and turning. One of his arms had hit Shiro, smashing into his face with such force that it broke his nose.

Keith’s comprehension had gone. All he could feel, all he could think about was the pain that he felt. It shook his body, he vomited, his head had smashed against the table. He spasmed uncontrollably. It wasn’t something that came in rolling pains, or a sear like breaking a bone, or getting burned- his whole body felt it, all at once, it was all there, hitting him uncontrollably.  

His body begged to be put down, to have his consciousness taken out- he could feel it trying to do so, his mind cutting out in flashes, but there must have been something with the serum that prevented that. He only got short flashes of being passed out before rousing again, never once being let go of the feeling.  

Keith cried. He sobbed, yelling and shrieking with the pain- tears ran freely from his eyes as he struggled, Shiro holding him down so that he wouldn’t fall off of the bed. He begged for Shiro to kill him- to shoot him, to make the pain stop, but the man had refused. Keith couldn’t even see his facial expression.

But he could hear Lance beside him- some of his own yells preceding over Keith’s, ragged, raw. He kept yelling out things in Spanish, incoherent. He was going through the same pain Keith was.

And then, as quickly as the pain had come, it stopped.  It had vanished, leaving Keith spasming on the table, still feeling the pseudo affects of it. He panted, gasping, before his eyes rolled back into his head and he finally passed out, his body shutting itself off from the outside world.

 

* * *

Lance didn’t know what was going on. He was so utterly terrified, being taken out of the pod, out of his sleep, feeling the rolling waves of pain come in, before he was pricked with something, and they became  _ so much worse.  _ His whole body was on fire. He was sure of it- he was burning, burning to death. But he couldn’t see any of the flames, or smell his own burning flesh. But  _ he was on fire. _

Lance’s body had tried to vomit, once, twice, but nothing had come up. There was nothing left in his stomach- the machine had been giving him his nutrients directly, and before that, his stomach had been empty.  He felt hands holding him down as he squirmed and writhed, which only made him more scared- he didn’t know where he was, or what was going on. It all felt like a horrifying, terrifying nightmare. But the pain told him that it wasn’t anything from his dreams. It was real, terrifyingly so, and Lance didn’t know how to stop it. He cried out, begged- cried for his Mama, his Papa, anyone to comfort him, to make the pain go away, but nobody came. He was alone, save for the strange hands holding him down, forcing him not to writhe too hard. Lance didn’t know what to do, how to act- the only thing he could register was what he was feeling throughout his body.

It felt as though he couldn’t see- technically he could- but he couldn’t comprehend anything that he was looking at. It didn’t register in his brain- it was too preoccupied with trying to shut itself down, to decompress, but something was stopping it. He hoped he would just die.

And then, all of a sudden everything went black. The pain stopped, and his head dropped to the table.

Suddenly, he was back in dream world, and he knew that he didn’t ever want to leave again.

* * *

The bed had been smashed. Broken to pieces- utterly destroyed. Fragments of ripped sheets and pillows remained, floating through the air, laying themselves gently across the room, filling it with white.

Lotor stood there, in midst of all the mess, panting, growling. There was an animalistic look in his eye- pained and spurred on. He didn’t seem as if he was entirely all there- a part of his consciousness seemed to be missing- the elegance and the grace that he once had was there no more. Now all he felt was fury, pain, and grief. He felt empty. Broken. Something wasn’t right, and he knew exactly what it was.

The prince screamed. It was guttural, ringing in his throat, bouncing off the walls. He screamed and screamed and screamed, arms lashing out, hair loose and wild sticking to his forehead with sweat. He couldn’t take this. Couldn’t believe it- couldn’t believe what he was feeling.

Lotor’s tether with Lance was gone.

He had felt it when it was first happening, deep inside of him- gravely distressed. He could even feel the hints of pain that his mate was going through. This had made him go into a frenzy- gathering his entire fleet, ready to cart off to war, but Haggar had stopped him. They didn’t know where Voltron was- they had jumped far out into space, and they still needed time to find them.

But Lotor didn’t have time. With each and every passing moment he could feel his mate’s tether to him grow weaker, and he needed to get to him. His bonded was dying. Having receded back into his room, panting, frantic, Lotor hadn’t know what to do. His body screamed at him to go save Lance, to go to him, to comfort him, to bring him out of whatever pain he was feeling, but he just  _ couldn’t _ . There was no way for him to do such a thing, so he had done the second most animalistic thing he could do: destroy his bedroom.

Now, as he stood there, his claws out, everything ripped to shreds, he couldn’t feel the bond anymore. It was gone. He felt empty- a piece of him was missing, gone. Even if he wouldn’t suffer the normal consequences of losing a bonded, it still affected him. Hurt him. Drove into him like a knife.

Lotor felt his knees collapsed underneath him, falling to the ground. He caught himself with his hands, arms trembling, body quivering. A sob racked through him. His mate was dead. He could feel it. The only person he had ever loved, ever respected was gone from his world, disappearing into the stars.

Droplets of tears struck the floor- their little pitter patters the only thing he could hear throughout the silence. Another sob ripped through him. It was low, and mouring, sounds coming out of him like a wounded animal.  

His elbows dropped to the floor, body following quickly after them as the prince curled up, unable to do anything else. He thought of the ceremony plans he had made- how as soon as his warrior had come back, he’d sweep him away, to start the trials. Then after, they’d be bonded by law, and finally they could go back to how they once were.

Sure, Lance would have needed to be punished- to have new lines carved into him for leaving him like that, but it would have been a small price to pay. Afterwards Lotor would have cleaned out the wounds, tenderly healing him, sharing soft words with his little warrior, before bringing him back to bed, finally able to share another night with him.

That first night would have been peaceful. He wouldn’t have initiated sex- not that first night. They would have needed to sleep, to rest, but as soon as they were rested and awake, the time to consummate would have started. It would have been grand- their love would have grown ten times, Lance would never leave again. Lotor wouldn’t let him- he’d never put him in the danger of Voltron ever again. He’d be his, and his only.

Lotor cried again. His bed would always been cold, empty now- he would no longer feel the warmth of Lance’s skin. No, not ever.

He laid there for a long time, curled up in a fetal position, howling, growling, sobbing. It was if the prince was crying for the loss of the universe itself, not just one person. But with time, he grew quiet, his shakes had stopped. Now all that replace his hurt was determination. A new hardness set onto his yellow-tinted eyes. He’d take down Voltron. He’d kill each and every single one of them, if it was the last thing he’d ever do- they were the cause of this. They were the ones that killed him.

But first, the prince had other things to do. Slowly, he picked himself up, taking deep breaths, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again. He had to tell Hagger- to give her the news of his mate’s death. A royal funeral was to be held. Planning needed to be done- his last present to his mate would be the biggest, most honorable thing he could give to him. A sending away so grand it would touch the hearts of each and every Galra around him- a speech would be made, and in that speech he would spread the word of how such a beloved mate had died- at the hands of Voltron. He would be emotional. He would relay the pain of losing a bonded. And he would broadcast such a speech to each and every planet around him. Lotor would make them see who the real monster was- someone that ripped apart a bond.

Voltron.

 

* * *

Lance opened his eyes. He could see the light streaming down onto him, harsh and unforgiving. He didn’t know where he was, until it all came crashing down onto him. Him collapsing in his room. Keith finding him- Lance being barely able to talk. Being put in the pod, all the dreams that he had seen, the peace that he had felt. And then the burning, white-hot pain that had gone through him. He couldn’t even describe it- it was so much worse than being on fire, or anything else like that. He had wanted to die. Wanted someone to just shoot him, to end everything. But nobody had satisfied his wishes- the pain had continued on until it had stopped and his body had finally shut itself off.

And now he was here. Blinking, his vision blurry, head fuzzy and all confused. The pain was gone. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, but Lance’s skin still tingled, and there was a weird feeling going through him, that he couldn’t describe. It was weird.

But then he saw everybody- his team, and suddenly he felt different. Like he wasn’t so much in a dream, and more so in reality. When they noticed him rousing, his head turning, elbows moving to lift himself up, the team had moved towards him, smiles and tears in their eyes. A chorus of voices that he couldn’t quite decipher asked how he was doing, how he felt, and Lance found himself taking a minute to fully register and reply.

“I feel weird.” Was all he said. He looked up at them, leaning against the table, feeling oddly like some sort of his privacy had been breached. “What happened? I… I remember the pain, the pod… but I don’t know what’s going on. Am I hurt?” All these questions came flooding into Lance’s mind as he became more and more coherent that he felt overwhelmed.

Shiro bit his lip. Lance squinted at him, pushing down a small bout of nausea that waved over him. He figured it was just the side effects of whatever the hell he had just fucking gone through.

“Well,” the leader sounded like he didn’t exactly know how to explain. Or, at least, he was just hesitant to do so. “It’s a really long story. Lance, you need to brace yourself.”

Uh-oh. That sounded bad- anxiety flashed through him as the Paladin’s gave each other a visibly worried look. But another question popped up into his mind as he counted the people in front of him.

“Wait, where are Coran and Keith?”

“To your right, Lance.”

He looked over his shoulder, seeing the raven-haired boy sprawled out against the table, Coran dabbing his forehead with a wet washcloth. There was a visible pained look on Keith’s face.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s just getting over what you two just went through.”

“The pain?”

“Yes.”

Okay. Now Lance had even more questions as he leaned back down against the table, letting the coolness of it sooth the back of his neck.

“I don’t get what’s going on. Just tell me, before I get even more upset, Shiro. I want to know what the fuck is up.”

Shiro sighed. He seemed both relieved and upset at the same time- the same with Hunk, Pidge and Allura, tears sparkling in their eyes.

“You were bonded, Lance. To Lotor.”

His breath hitched at the sound of Lotor’s name- but strangely enough, Lance didn’t feel the pull like he once had.

“Bonded?”

“He forced a bond on you- a tie of the soul that makes you two unable to be separated. Two bonded can almost feel each other in a way- it’s like having a mental tie, of some sorts,” Shiro explained, his voice soft, careful. “If they’re away from each other for too long, they start to feel immense pain, and can die. That was what was happening to you Lance- you were feeling so much pain before because of Lotor. Only, we’re fairly certain he bonded you in an unfair way, where only you would feel the pain. It was a method to keep you with him at all times.”

Lance choked on his own spit, shocked by what was coming out of Shiro’s mouth. He was bonded with Lotor? Lotor had loved him that much?

He turned back to Shiro. “Did… did you guys get rid of the bond? To save me so I wouldn’t die?” Lance was horrified that he almost hoped that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be bonded with Lotor or not, but he wanted the time to figure it out himself. 

“...No.”

A bit of relief flooded through him.

“We… did something else to save you.” There was a hesitancy in Shiro’s voice that made Lance almost quiver.

“What? What did you do?” Lance sat up.

“We switched your bond to Keith.”

Lance didn’t register. He didn’t comprehend. He couldn’t even grasp the whole bond thing in the first place, and now they were trying to tell him that he was bonded to  _ Keith _ ? Not Lotor? There was a strange feeling inside of him- not freedom, but merely like his world had been flipped upside down. He loved Lotor, but at the same time, he was scared of him. He had scars from him, and the thought of being bonded to the prince felt good, and bad at the same time, and he could have figured out how he felt about it but now Lance didn’t even get that choice anymore because now he was bonded to Keith.

The one he told to forget about him. To tell his Mama that he loved her. The one he was supposed to forget about. Lance had just been starting to heal, to figure things out, but now he felt as though all that process was falling down on him. He felt lost.

Tears sprung up into his eyes, and he let out a shallow sob, bringing his knees up to his chest. He looked up to Shiro, eyeing him and the rest of his team.

_ “What did you do to me?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (': it's been done. The bond transfer is COMPLETE. But how does Lance feel about it? I'd say he's kind of horrified right now, because one, he didn't even know what a bond was, and now two, he's separated from Lotor. That doesn't mean he hates Keith or anything but it's just like??? wtf??? He's been through a lot of pain and he doesn't know exactly what the fuck is going on. 
> 
> BUT LOTOR, Lotor thinks Lance is dead! How wild is that? What do you think will happen when he finds out that Lance is actually alive? 
> 
> Just... my poor babies. Everyone is in pain rn. I feel really bad, but I have to do it for the fic! Persevere! 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! They make my day!


	13. Reconciliation

 

Lance laid on his bed, in his room. His thoughts whirled around him, surrounding and buzzing through his mind like flies feasting on a carcass. They wouldn’t stop coming. He just couldn’t understand anything of what was going on- he was confused and scared, needed someone to comfort him, to talk to him, but instead he had chosen to barricade himself off, to keep as far away from everybody as he could. 

He felt like they betrayed him. Everyone- Lotor included. Not once had anybody asked about what  _ he  _ thought about being bonded- how he wanted things to be done. Lance had wanted the time to figure out who he really wanted to be bonded with- what would best help him in everything. Whether that was being bonded with Lotor or Keith he didn’t know, but now he didn’t have a choice. He was stuck with Keith. Lance could feel the tether; it was stronger than his link to Lotor. That was one of the first things Lance had noticed after everything had been explained to him.

Even now, he could feel it- he could feel that Keith still hadn’t woken up from the bonding process. He could feel that the boy was at peace, unaware of everything happening around him. Lance was jealous. Even in his dreams, he felt conflicted, scared and angry. His dreams burned vividly, where often he would wake up sweating with tears wetting his cheeks. All Lance wanted was to just feel numb for a little bit, but whatever god that was watching over him didn’t really seem to be answering his prayers.

What something Lance had never felt before, at least to this extent was the anger. The anger at himself, his team, his lover, everything. It was like he couldn’t get it out of his head- everything had fucking disregarded him, everyone had made life-changing decisions without him. Lance didn’t want to hear their explanations, or excuses- he didn’t want to hear anything. The one thing he really wanted was to go home to his Mama, to wake up in his bed back home, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars he had put up and realize everything had just been a dream. Where the only thing he could be worried about was whether or not he got into the Garrison , but even if he didn’t, he knew he would be okay because his family was there to support and love him no matter what happened. He wanted to play with his siblings again, to be tío Lance, and watch his nieces and nephews while they all watched Disney movies with the Spanish subtitles on. Lance wanted home, and he had never been so far away.

His tether with Keith pulled at him. Something deep inside Lance told him to go touch Keith, be with him, stroke his hair. It wanted Lance to be close with him, to have some sort of physical touch, or proximity. It didn’t hurt- no, it was nothing like Lance had felt when he was away from Lotor, but even though him and Keith were in the same castle, there was an underlying feeling that made Lance uncomfortable. Made him itch. Ansty. His body wanted him to go to Keith, but his mind refused. No. He wasn’t ready to face the outside world just yet- Lance didn’t know what he would do. Yell? Scream? Cry? Maybe he’d act like nothing had happened; maybe he’d try to forget the obvious, but that was something he’d think about later.

Because he wasn’t leaving this room.

Hunk came around every once in a while to give Lance food- he wasn’t sure if it was supper or dinner, but it never really mattered to him. Time had lost all meaning when he laid in his bed.  The larger boy had tried to make sure Lance was eating, drinking and keeping up on his basic hygiene, but there wasn’t much he could do. His best friend seemed dead to the world, laying there in his bed, hardly moving. It worried Hunk- he had fretted to the rest of the team one dinner- Keith was still knocked out, sleeping peacefully. (Pidge had found out that there was a dark period that sometimes happened and that he would be out for a few days, but it wasn’t anything to be too overly worried about)  But everyone had come to the agreement that Lance needed space to adjust to everything that had happened. Once Keith woke up, things might be different, was what Shiro had said. One Lance’s bonded rose and the bond between the two sparked up fully.

After another day, Lance could feel Keith stirring- the peacefulness he once had felt through their connection was starting to be replaced with fear and anxiety- some of the things Lance was feeling himself. It made things more intense- more confusing for Lance, but he continued to lay there, getting up occasionally to go to the bathroom, eat, or drink.

He liked to imagine that the room he was in, was his room back home- placing in his mind where his dresser would go, his desk. The stars, the posters. Even where the bits and pieces of his dirty laundry would fall, casually thrown to the floor with a promise that he’d pick them up the next day to do laundry. Lance even pictured where his new things would go- his Bayard, all the weird alien skin care products he had picked up at markets and such.

There was a lot for Lance to imagine, but his mind kept getting more and more distracted by his bond with Keith.

 

* * *

Keith could feel himself being dragged from dreamworld, the calmness around him dissolving as he woke up. He blinked, looking at the side of his wall, where he was facing. His tongue felt like sandpaper and there was a bad taste in his mouth- a tell-tale sign that he had been asleep for a long time. Groaning, Keith pushed up on his elbows, kicking the sheets away. He felt like shit- his body hurt and his head was throbbing.

There was a shuffling coming from the corner of his room. He turned to see what it was, and was surprised to see Shiro- stirring, looking groggy but perking up as soon as he saw Keith looking at him. There was a bandage going across his nose, bruises stark against the rest of his face.

“You’re awake.” He sounded happy.

“Yeah… why are you in my room? What happened to your nose?” Keith questioned- sure they were as close as brothers and all, but normally Shiro didn’t watch Keith while he slept. It was kind of startling seeing him there.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. Pidge and Coran said that it was normal for you to be asleep for a couple days after… the process, but I wasn’t so sure. As for the nose, you broke it once the pain started.”

The process? What process? He wasn’t sure what Shiro as talking about until everything came crashing down on Keith, and it dawned on him that he could feel a weird sensation deep inside of him- tugging and pulling, willing him towards Lance. He froze, mouth slightly ajar, eyes wide.

“It worked?” Keith’s voice was barely a whisper, hoarse and cracking.

“Yes. Lance is alive. You two are… bonded.” Shiro almost had to force the word out, making Keith wince, but he didn’t blame him. It was crazy to believe, even now after he had gone through everything.

“How is he? Did he recover okay?”

“Physically, he’s fine. He got up slightly after the process finished. But… he hasn’t left his room… Hunk goes in every once in awhile to make sure he’s eating and drinking, but other than that… nothing.”

Keith groaned, leaning back down into his pillow, rubbing his throbbing head. Of course Lance would be like this- how could he have thought otherwise? He was forced into this. All of this- he didn’t have a say in any of it, nothing. They couldn’t give him one by the time Keith had found him, curled up on the floor, incoherent with pain. And once they had found the cure, only days were left before he was going to die, so they had to do it as soon as possible to keep Lance safe. But he still hadn’t had a choice.

The bond between the two was strong- it was unlike Keith had ever felt before. As he grew less and less groggy, he could feel it more and more within himself. He could  _ sense  _ Lance.  He could feel something deep inside of him, unhappy, confused, hurt. Angry. He could feel his feelings. But Lance was alive. He wasn’t in pain anymore- at least not physical. He wasn’t yelling out for death, for somebody to take it all away. Keith let out a deep breath, calming himself, pushing up again.

“You know, the process, it really scared me.” Shiro’s words took him out of his thoughts. “You kept asking me to kill you. I had to hold you down so that you wouldn’t fall off of the table, or hurt yourself. It… it was hard on all of us, Keith, not just you and Lance. We watched all of it. We heard you guys, watched as you struggled. And then you both just, passed out and for a second we weren’t sure if you and Lance had died or not. It was the scariest moment of my life, Keith.” Shiro’s voice broke. “And then Lance woke up, and you didn’t- you stayed asleep and all of us were scared until Pidge found the reasoning… Lance has been suffering too. Without you- I don’t think he feels any pain physically, but I’m sure there’s something mentally. “

Keith nodded, slowly. He could feel the emotions well up into him, pushing against his chest, threatening to spill out. He sniffed.

“Shiro, I…” Keith’s voice broke, a single tear dripping down his cheek. He wiped at it furiously. “I… I don’t know what to do. I, I’m so lost… all I wanted to do was help Lance, and now I think I’ve just made it worse!” The tears began to stream down his face as he desperately tried to stop them, continuing to wipe, frustrated.  

Shiro’s expression softened, and he got up, walking over to Keith. Sitting down next to him, he put his arm around the boy, pulling him in tight. “Keith,  _ none  _ of us know if we did the right thing. We couldn’t ask Lance because he was in so much pain he couldn’t understand what we were saying, and after that is was literally a life or death situation. We couldn’t give him back to Lotor either, because who knows what would have happened to him if we did. Lance has every reason to hurt right now, but you do too. You gave your life to him, to that he could live. It’s going to be hard on everybody for a while, but it will be something we can overcome.”

Keith sniffed, leaning into Shiro more, accepting the warmth that wrapped around him. “I.. I know, but… I fucked up his life, Shiro. He’s been miserable on this ship ever since we entered space and I didn’t do or say anything about it because I was too scared, I didn’t know how to act around him. I… I tried to help him the best I could, but it just wasn’t enough!”

He took a deep breath, hiccuping, tears still falling as they dripped onto Shiro’s shirt.  

“He got captured, and had to stay with Lotor for six fucking months! He was tortured by him, Lance has  _ scars  _ now, Shiro. Just like you do. And then he got bonded, and had to go through pain all over again once he came back to us. I feel like all Lance is going to remember us,  _ me  _ by is how we all caused him so much pain, and I’m not even mad about it because I know he’s totally right. But… Shiro. I think I’m in love with him and that’s what makes it so much harder.”  His voice broke, as Keith took in another shaky breath, looking down at the floor. “I love him Shiro, and all I’ve ever done is hurt him.”

Shiro sighed, pulling Keith closer. “I know.”

 

* * *

It had been three days since he had felt Keith wake up, and Lance was sure he was going crazy. Being in his room, laying down all day,  _ not doing anything, _ was starting to get to him. His stubbornness was wearing off. He needed to do something- to take his mind off of everything that was happening, but Lance didn’t want to see anybody. He didn’t want to see them, speak to them, or even know that any of his teammates were there. He wasn’t ready for that just yet; they needed to not exist for the time being. But he needed to go out.

Sighing, he looked at his alarm clock that he had snagged from the earth shop, that was currently seated on the floor.. It read 2:46 AM bright and red, telling Lance that everyone else would be asleep. He smiled grimly to himself, feeling the urge to go out get even stronger. Nobody would see him; they were all sound asleep. It would be like the old times, when he used to train by himself all those months ago. Now, Lance didn’t know what he missed more: training alone at night, silent besides from his own breaths and lasers hitting the bots, or back with Lotor, where his lover would watch and praise him. He didn’t know.

But despite his conflicting feelings, Lance knew that he was going to leave his room. Training would take away his thoughts, maybe even distract him from the bond he felt with Keith, always tugging at the back of his mind, reminding him of what happened.

For the first time in more than he would like to admit, Lance got up, and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He wanted to feel refreshed before doing this. Taking off his clothes that were dirty and wrinkled, he dropped them in the laundry shoot and stepped in, breathing in the steamy air, taking in the feeling of the scalding hot water hit his shoulders and face. Then, he scrubbed. Scrubbed at his body, his hair. He even put on a quick in-shower face mask, feeling comforted by the routine of everything. Then, after he had rinsed everything off, stood in the water for a bit longer, he stepped out, toweling himself off and walking back into his room to throw on some clothes. He chose the ones he used to train in- they stood folded in his drawer, the same as he had left them all those months ago. A little musty, but Lance didn’t care. He just wanted to train.

Finally, he felt ready. His hair was still wet, dripping little droplets down the back of his neck, and down his shirt, but Lance didn’t care. Quietly, he left his room, checking the hallways, turning on the little flashlight that was clipped onto his shirt, before following the path that he still remembered down to the training room. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had been in it since coming back from Lotor, but something felt different. He felt different. This wasn’t just about training anymore.

Footsteps gently echoing down the halls, Lance found himself facing the training room doors- he stepped forward, watching them slide open. The lights flickered on, (unlike the hallways) and he stepped inside, looking around it. It was empty, silent; just how Lance wanted it.

He walked over to the table face, turning it on, and scrolling through the levels he had previously beaten. Quickly, he chose the third highest one and grabbed a gun, getting ready to start the fight.

Lance was a little out of practice; his body felt weaker than before, and he guessed it was because of the bonding process. He gritted his teeth, cursing, before pushing on through, shooting shot after shot at the bots. One thing he missed was his bayard- something that had been left behind with Lotor. He missed the way it transformed itself into a weapon he could use for both close rang and long range fighting, but he made due with what he had- after all, Lance had to be ready for anything, right? 

But, right now, it wasn’t really about getting better at fighting. It wasn’t like all the previous times he had gone to the training room to fight- it was about letting go, and only focusing at the task at hand. It was therapeutic. That is, until Lance felt Keith enter the room, and got knocked down by the bot, thrown heavily to the ground, gun clattering against the floor, sliding out of reach.  He grunted, cursing loudly before Keith’s frantic voice told the simulation to stop.

Lance laid there, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him, wheezing, looking up at the ceiling. Footsteps approached him, and he tried to tell Keith to fuck off, but his hand touched his shoulder, and sparks went up it, jarring both of them.

“Fuck off! I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to see anybody!”  Lance shouted, scrambling to his feet, pushing Keith away, getting the feeling again. He gasped, cursing. Keith didn’t look any better- he looked scared and conflicted, his brows furrowing.

“Lance,” he started, voice quiet.

“No!” Lance snapped back, turning away, ready to stalk off. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen.

“Lance  _ please _ , I can feel the bond us much as you can. We… we need to talk. ” There was a desperation in Keith’s voice that made him stop.

Keith was right. They needed to talk- they needed to sort things out. It was something Lance didn’t want to recognize, but now as it was being said out loud to him, voice full of emotion, he knew what had to be done, even if part of him screamed so loudly to just go back to laying in his bed, away from everybody, away from the world. He took a deep breath. Keith was right.

Lance let out a sigh, giving in despite how much his mind screamed at him to say no.

“Okay, let’s talk; I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

 

* * *

They went to Keith’s room- it was the closest. Lance sat down next to Keith on the bed, still feeling the tingling sensation Keith shifted, seemingly surprised that Lance had chosen to sit right next to him. He looked at him desperately, opening his mouth to say something before Lance stopped him.  

“I think I have to explain to you everything that happened, and my feelings towards all of this. You have to know before you say anything, Keith.” Lance’s voice shook, as he looked at the raven-haired boy. Keith closed his mouth and nodded.

“My relationship with Lotor… it’s confusing. He did stuff to me, he hurt me, he scared me, but he also made me feel like the most loved person in the universe. He made me feel like I was worth something Keith, when at the time I felt like I was worth nothing. I was with him, and only him for 6 months, so as you might think, our… relationship grew pretty fast. He did really bad things, yes, but I didn’t feel like they were… unjustified?” Lance struggled to find the words for what he meant. Like, he understood why Lotor did what he did, but he was still so confused. “I’m still trying to work everything out- I  _ was  _ working everything out before the effects of the bond got to me, and now I’m at square one again. I’m broken right now, Keith.”

Lance could feel Keith’s anger- his rage towards Lotor, because of the bond, but when he looked his face, Keith didn’t seem to show it. He nodded slowly, accepting what Lance had said. Lance was grateful- somebody was actually trying to understand how he felt, what he was going through instead of just immediately telling him Lotor was just some monster, and that he was lucky to get away from him and that their relationship meant nothing. Because it didn’t mean nothing. It had once meant the world to Lance. But now he was confused- even more so before, and needed time to heal.

“And I’m angry. At… at everything. When I lie in my bed, all I can think about is how I didn’t get a choice in everything, and how you’re stuck with me, and how I can’t go back to Lotor, and I’m confused, and scared, and I don’t know what’s going on.” Tears pricked Lance’s eyes as he sniffled- this was the first time he was really talking about everything.  “And all I want to do is go home, but now I know I can’t because we’re bonded, and I can feel you, and you need to be a part of Voltron. “

“It’s not just me that has to be here- you do too, Lance. Regardless of our bond; you’re the paladin of the Blue Lion. Everyone knows that.” Keith pointed out gently, shifting next to him.

Lance nodded, not so sure of that himself.

“Lance.” Keith’s voice was more determined this time, as he looked at the Cuban boy. “You’re so important to this team- I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it countless times again.  _ We need you,  _ not only as a paladin, but as our friend, our family. I… I’m so sorry I did this to you- none of this was supposed to happen, I feel like it’s all my fault. I just wanted you to live. To be alive so that you could see your family back home on earth- so that you could tell your Mama that you loved her.” Keith took in a shaky breath- Lance could see the tears in Keith’s eyes, threatening to spill just like his own.

“Nothing else mattered to me; I was prepared to die for you, because I made that promise. I… when I saw you on the floor in your bedroom, I thought you had died and it scared me so much. And then when we had to figure out a cure for you, I was scared you were going to die then, or disappear back to Lotor.  I didn’t know what to do except for look and pray, and then when the next best thing came up, I… I was relieved. We couldn’t ask for your consent, but I was relieved because you wouldn’t die. And then I volunteered, and I know it’s stupid because we're not even that close, and it should have been Hunk or something, but I felt like I was the only one who could do it, so I did.”

Lance nodded, a choked noise coming from his throat. He didn’t know how to react, how to feel- it was just pure emotion. “Keith, I-”    
  
“I will make this up to you, Lance.” Keith’s voice cracked. “I’ll do anything for you. I’ll make it so it’s tolerable; I'll make sure you’ll never feel like this again.” He took in a deep breath, looking up into Lance’s eyes. “Please. Just let me do this for you.” 

A tear slipped from Lance’s eyes, then another, and another as he began to cry, leaning forward to grasp onto Keith’s shirt. Keith quickly turned, and pulled him into a hug, holding Lance tight against his chest. The tingling sensation wrapped around them both. Lance just clung on even harder.

“I promise, Lance. I promise everything will be okay.”

They stayed like that for a long time, Lance crying softly with Keith holding him, a tears wetting his own cheeks, until eventually they fell back onto the bed, asleep, arms and legs tangled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (': they had a talk. I think Lance is still really confused and hurt by everything, but with Keith's reassurances, he's feeling better. Things look like they might get better from here! 
> 
> Also Keith admitted his love for Lance (albeit not TO him but to shiro, but ITS A START) 
> 
> I tried to make it a little fluffy for those demanding- *cough*- requesting it, but I feel like it turned out a little... not fluffy? Idk. I put emotion in it, and y'all got Keith and Lance sleeping together in the same bed so it's an attempt ok 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter! A lot of talking and inner feelings, but a lot of emotion!!
> 
> Thanks as always!


	14. Incandescent

Keith felt a warmness wrapping around him, buzzing underneath his skin, radiating in front of him. He hummed, nuzzling closer to it, until his nose brushed past something ticklish. Hair. Something shifted underneath him. Keith’s eyes drew open, and he found himself looking at the familiar wall next to his bed- one he had woken up next to almost every night he had slept on the castle. Something shifted again, causing Keith to look down, finally wonder what the hell was so warm and making him feel so good.

Immediately a heat rose to his face as he realized it was _ Lance _ , head buried in his chest, arms loosely gripping around his body. His leg was even thrown over Keith’s hip as the Cuban boy slept soundly, his breathing calm and even. Keith blushed even harder as he dared not to move, not to rouse Lance from a sleep he no doubt needed. How did this happen? How did they end up sleeping in Keith’s bed, wrapped around each other like this?

Keith bit his lip. He could remember last night, how he had found Lance training and pleaded with him to talk to him. He remembered how surprised he was when Lance actually agreed and followed him to his room, where Keith awkwardly sat next to him on his bed. They had talked and talked, cried, and Keith could remember holding Lance as he sobbed into his shoulder- how he could feel a spark between them, a buzzing, a good feeling whenever he touched Lance. They must have fallen asleep like that, in each others arms. He knew it had something to do with the bond- it was similar to how he could sense Lance’s feelings and whereabouts in a way. How he could feel the pull between them whenever they were away from each other.

Lance shifted from underneath him, mumbling something that Keith couldn’t understand. He could smell Lance’s hair- distinctly fruity and soft as it tickled his nose and mouth. Keith sighed. He could almost imagine them being like this for real- going to sleep like this every night, touching, talking. Being in love with each other. But Lance wasn’t in love with him- he was only hugging Keith like this because the bond drew them together; perhaps even more so when asleep. 

Keith’s throat felt dry, and as much as he wanted to continue to lay there with Lance, hold him while he slept so soundly, felt so calm, things needed to be done within the castle and Shiro had asked him to help out, and maybe even bring Lance for breakfast. When the leader had talked to him earlier before that, he seemed to think that Lance would be more willing to come around now that Keith was awake. He had denied it, but now… Lance seemed a little better. Maybe he could convince him; after all, he needed to eat, right?

Gently reaching around to pull Lance’s arms from off of him, Keith watched as Lance stirred, his facial features turning into a frown. Keith sighed, moving to shift Lance’s leg from being wrapped around his hip. He blushed when Lance tried to clutch on even harder, but gently peeled him away. That was when Lance woke up, his eyelashes fluttering, limbs stretching out. He grumbled, looking a little confused before he caught sight of Keith, who was still sitting a little awkwardly on his own bed.

“Uh, good morning,” Keith mumbled, unsure how Lance would react. Hopefully he wouldn’t be angry.

“Mornin’,” Lance replied, groggily his voice still hoarse from sleep. The whole situation hadn’t seemed to hit him yet. “Wait… why are you in my room?”

“It’s my room.”

“Why am I in your room?”

“Er,” Keith scratched the back of his head, looking down at the covers. He was scared Lance would react negatively- especially now that everything was so jumbled up, and this kind of made it even more so. “I think we might have… fallen asleep last night, after, y’know… talking and everything.”

“Oh.” That was all that Lance said- his face was unreadable, but Keith could feel a bit of apprehension running through the Cuban boy, along with… something else he couldn’t quite get.

“Yeah… I”m sorry about that. But I’m still really happy we talked, Lance.” 

“Me too, Keith. Actually… I haven’t slept this well since, well, a long time before this. So I guess I should thank you for that.” Keith knew Lane was going to say Lotor, but he was grateful he didn’t. Grateful he didn’t think about that man so early in the morning. He blushed, thinking about how Lance was so attached to him, his head tucked into Keith’s chest, breaths soft against his neck.

“Uh, you’re welcome. I didn’t, er, mind. Anyways,” Keith felt his voice grow hasty, “Um. Do you want to come to breakfast with me? No pressure- it’s just Shiro and everyone else have been dying to see you, and… I don’t know I just thought you might like to. Like I said no pressure, you don’t have to if you don’t wan-”

“I’ll come, Keith.” Lance cut him off. The boy was looking down at his hands, playing with them. Keith could sense a bit of guilt coursing through him. “I’ve.. I’ve been acting really harshly about this and I think I’d like to see them… thanks for inviting me.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, no problem. Do you want to head out now?”

“Yeah… just let me go back to my room to brush me teeth and then I’ll go with you.”

“Alright. Thanks, Lance.”

 

* * *

Lance looked at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth- there were still bags under his eyes, but they didn’t look as bad as before, and his skin didn’t seem so dull. Also, there was still a slight buzz going throughout his body, making him feel tingly and a little good.  He suspected it had something to do with the bond, and physical contact with Keith- after all, he had felt it when he had shoved him away, and when Keith had hugged him last night… or all night, apparently.

Lance let out a groan. He had literally been attached to Keith- when he woke up, Keith was peeling him off of him. What did he think of him now, when he had given into the feelings of the bond so easily? That bond, it was the cause of all his fucking troubles, with, or without Keith. Lance squeezed his eyes shut, willing the bad feelings to go away. He had talked with Keith. They had sorted things out, and while there was still a lot of rebuilding Lance needed to do, he needed to look on the brighter side of things. Keith had genuinely had the best interest at heart for Lance, and he couldn’t forget that, no matter how apprehensive he felt about everything else.

Spitting in the sink, Lance rinsed out his mouth with a cup of water, before quickly bending down to wash his face, applying his skin care products on afterwards. He didn’t go through the whole routine, since Keith was waiting for him, but he wanted to start it up again, after so long of not doing it. When he finished, he straightened his back, fixing his rumpled clothes a little, before turning on his heel to head out, to meet up with Keith again. Lance’s heart beat in his chest when he thought about eating breakfast with… the team again, after he had refused to do so for so long. He hoped they weren’t too mad at him; the image of them rejecting him again made panic well up in his throat.

When he reached Keith’s room again, the other boy had given him a reassuring look, confusing Lance as to how he knew about his feelings until he remembered that the bond shared some of that between them.

Giving off a small sigh, Lance followed him.

Everyone was in the kitchen- Hunk was cooking and there was a little chatter going on between everyone. They seemed happy, but with the air of something missing; Lance wondered if that was him and Keith. As Keith cleared his throat, eyes turned to the both of them and the chatter silenced- everyone was looking at Lance in a bit of shock.

Hunk was the first one to smile, gesturing for both of them to sit down. Lance took a seat. awkwardly next to Pidge, she had smiled at him. People said good morning, and leaned over to pat Lance on the back. Keith sat down on the other side of Lance, next to Shiro.

“I’m glad you’re here Lance!” Hunk exclaimed, grabbing Lance and Keith a plate, serving them a brightly coloured goo. “I made the goo taste like Cinnamon rolls- or at least, that’s how I tried to make them taste like. Tell me what you think.”

Lance grabbed a fork and scooped a piece of it into his mouth. It did taste like Cinnamon rolls. He nodded and smiled, and continued to eat. Lance could see from the corner of his eye that Keith was casting small glances over to him- he knew Keith could feel that he was uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to say it out loud.

The chatter resumed as everybody started to eat again, but Lance knew that there was something off again about the vibe- it was like everyone was trying to not acknowledge the elephant in the room that was Lance and Keith’s bond. He swallowed thickly, his hands turning into loose fists on the table.

“Um.” Lance started, his voice wavering a little. The talking stopped and everyone turned their heads towards Lance. He looked at Shiro- seeing the leader gently watching him, guilt flashing beneath his eyes. Lance swallowed again.

“Um.” He repeated himself. “I… want to apologize for shutting you guys out when… everything happened,” Lance started. Keith looked at him, worried, his hand reaching out. Lance shook his head- Keith didn’t have to do anything for this.

“Wait, Lance. You have any reason to apologize- we should be the ones doing that.” Pidge spoke up, her wide eyes looking up at Lance from behind her round-rimmed glasses.

“She’s right. You’ve gone through so much , Lance, and all we did was add to your pain. We wanted to save you, but we couldn’t get your consent to do so.” Hunk was next, his voice soft, emotional.

“So, we’re sorry Lance. All of us.” Shiro spoke, his voice low, “throughout all of us, you’re the one who has gone through the most- emotionally and physically. We’ve been owning you this apology for a long time now, it’s just… we weren’t sure on how to go about it. Just, anybody would need space after something like that, right? But you need to know that we were truly just trying to keep you alive- Keith especially.”  

“As the Princess of Altea, I formally apologize. All we wanted to do was to keep you safe Lance… and it seems like we haven’t been doing the best job at that.” Allura spoke, guilty, her hands wringing each other out.

Lance nodded thickly, his eyes growing wet again, for what, the hundred millionth time? God, he was such a crybaby. But he was so far past the point of caring about crying; that ship had sailed months ago.

“It’s… I understand.” Lance replied. Because he did understand- they were scared and wanted to keep him alive. He couldn’t give consent because he couldn’t understand what was going on at the time. It was a harsh reality that he had to accept- but he still couldn’t say that it was ‘okay’, because it wasn’t. It would never be. “I.. I won’t hold it against you guys. It’s just something shitty that happened that’s all- Keith is apart of this now, too. But… I think it’s time, that we… start trying to uh, rebuild and stuff.”

Coran, who had been listening in on the conversation silently, stared at Lance for a long time- so long that Lance had begun to squirm under his firm gaze. Finally, he dipped his head, standing up. “I am the one the most fault here. I failed to recognize the signs of such a process going on- if I had figured it out quicker, we could have had asked you when you were in the right of mind. But my perception of Bonds were so skewed that I refused to believe they even existed until this point. So believe me when I say, I am so, so sorry, Lance.”

Lance sniffed, looking down at his plate. He couldn’t blame Coran, not the only man who had talked to him during his times before being captured by Lotor. The only man who had seemingly cared for him. But he knew what Coran was saying was right, and he had to face the facts and forgive for it. “It was a mistake. Everything was, but now I want to move past it, with Keith, so that we can… we can try to be a team again, with me in it.”

Shiro stood up. He had a small smile on his face. “We’re so proud of you, Lance. And you too, Keith for wanting to do this. We promise we’ll help the two of you out the best we can, maybe… starting with a team bonding exercise?”

Lance looked over to Keith, who nodded slightly, before looking back to Shiro. “Sounds great, leader.” 

As everyone all filed out, surrounding Lance and Keith, talking, chattering- patting both of them on the back, Lance felt some of the weight on his shoulders being lifted. He could feel the soft touch of Keith’s fingers brushing against his own, sparks and tingles blooming each time they touched. 

 

* * *

2 months had gone by. Each day Lance worked on getting better- he worked with the team, trying to bond with them once again, and with blue to build up his bond. He was feeling a lot better than he had been- not quite there, but better.

But, he worked with Keith- one on one, sparring with him, but… also trying to figure out the bond with him. It was weird, and a little tricky; they found out new things about it each day. One of the things they uncovered was how there was always the need, the pull to touch each other, hence the feelings they got when they did so. They grew groggy and a little lethargic when they went too long without physical contact, and there was always,  _ always, _ a pull. Lance could tell when Keith was close to him, or when he was far, on the other side of the ship. The tether was strong, and at first uncomfortable, but over time Lance grew to draw comfort from it. Comfort from Keith, in a way.

Because of this, they often found themselves naturally drawn to each other. Always sitting next to one another during meals, standing together during meetings, even sitting together on the couch when the team had movie nights. There was also the physical contact; fingers brushing, thighs pressed against one another. The touching. The feeling. Something they didn’t talk about, but both knew.

Even if sometimes it was only fleeting, or that one time when Lance had laid his head on Keith’s shoulder during a movie and Keith’s arm had snaked to wrap around Lance and it had developed into a habit that happened each time they sat down on that couch, both had seemed to just accept it. The team too. They no longer gave them confused looks every time this happened, coming to just accept it as for what it was; it wasn’t as if Lance and Keith were in love with each other, right?

Even if Lance sometimes snuck into Keith’s room at night because his skin itched and crawled and kept him awake because it wouldn’t stop unless Keith held him. Even if Keith always accepted Lance into his arms, and Lance did the exact same when Keith came into his own room, because they weren’t in love. This was the bond- something deep inside of them that they just had to deal with. No, there was no love. Even if Lance sometimes felt a flutter in his stomach and heart in the dead of night when he was up against Keith’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, letting the calming waves radiating off of the raven-haired boy wash over him.

It was just the bond.

That was what he thought about as he sat out on the bridge, looking at the stars and space from the large window as it illuminated the dark surroundings around him. Lance wasn’t sad. This wasn’t like the last time when he came there, when Shiro had found and comforted him. No. He just wanted to look at the stars and think about things- he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t sad. He was just there.

All was calm, quiet as Lance thought. Silence surrounded him, except for the castle’s ongoing whurr, signalling that it was at work. But he could feel Keith- feel him stir, feel the calmness of sleep break. And then the rush of panic before settling down again, and then Keith was moving. Closer and closer to where Lance was, until he could feel that he was just outside the entrance to the bridge.

Footsteps sounded- Lance didn’t have to use the bond feeling to know where Keith was anymore. Instead, he turned around to look at him, the boy’s features illuminated by the silvery light, his dark hair so contrast against his pale skin.

“Wanna sit?” Lance offered, not bothering to ask why Keith had got up to seek him out. It was just something that happened to both of them now.

“Yeah.” Keith replied, walking up to Lance and taking a seat next to him. His fingers splayed out next to Lance’s, just barely touching, and Lance shifted to wrap his pinky around Keith’s.

“ It’s pretty calming, looking out into it, isn’t it?” Lance pointed out. He could feel a strange feeling coming from Keith, but also from himself. A warmth. The same one he felt on those nights; was this one of them?

“Yeah.” Keith’s voice was quiet, the words just barely leaving his lips. He wasn’t looking out the window, he was looking at Lance.  

Lance looked back, a small smile thrown across his lips. It was startling to see the look in Keith’s eyes- one made out of something that he couldn’t quite decipher, but he could see the intensity looming deep in them; they were shiny, reflecting the sky, stars dotting across them.

They were beautiful. Another wave of warmth went through Lance, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was locked into Keith, breathing slowly, waiting for something to happen, before he spoke out again. 

“It’s calming looking at you too. I don’t know why, but when I try to think of anyone else being in a bond like this with me, I can’t imagine it. Like, I can only think of you- maybe it’s because I’m so used to you now, maybe... Weird, huh?” A blush came across Lance’s face and he was about to turn his head again when a flash across Keith’s eyes made him stop.

He was silent. The intensity grew burning hot in Keith’s eyes after the flash, capturing Lance in them for a split second before he surged forward, pressing his mouth against Lance’s, lips burning hot.

Lance sat there, shocked as Keith’s mouth moved against his, warm hands snaking up to cup his cheek and the back of his head. He was shocked, until he wasn’t; all of a sudden the feeling he had whenever he laid in bed with Keith in the dead of night, and right now made sense. He closed his eyes and kissed Keith back, a searing hot feeling blooming between them.

They kissed, and kissed and kissed, for what felt like hours, touches so intense, so stinging hot against Lance’s skin. Lance’s fingers worked through Keith’s hair, tugging and pulling as the other boy dragged him closer, pressing his body against Lance’s. It left him buzzing, a warmth and calamity washing over him while at the same time intensity and passion drove him forward. He was kissing Keith. And he was loving it.

When they finally pulled apart, panting and gasping for breath, Keith holding onto Lance, and Lance clutching onto Keith, they stared at each other. Shocked, buzzed, amazed. They leaned in for more, breaths tickling each other’s cheeks, the whisper of the words “I love y-” coming from Keith’s mouth, when a blare of the alarms broke them apart. They jumped to their feet, running to get ready.

* * *

 

Keith could still feel the intensity of the kiss on his lips. The tingling he felt all over, the slight wobble of his legs as he ran to the control room, ready to meet Allura who had to have some important news or a battle ready for them. Lance was not far behind him- he could feel it. Could feel his feelings; the other boy was just as flustered as Keith was. Just as warm… he, he felt the same. Maybe.

He tried to push it out of his mind for the time being as he ran into the room, his cheeks still flushed a little red. Everyone else was there, as he stopped, going to stand next to Hunk as Lance ran in right behind him, puffed cheeks and red ear tips. Hunk gave Keith a questioning look, but he just shrugged it off, not knowing whether or not Lance would want to share the news of what they had been just doing just yet.

Allura cleared her throat, now seeing that everyone was present. “We’ve spotted a nearby planet under attack- it’s urgent that we help them as there are many civilians that could be suffering and it’s possible that they will become our allies. The coordinates have been sent to your Lions- the fleet is of medium size, with one main leader. Please be careful, and stay communicated through the coms.” She sounded nervous- everyone was, with this being their first mission after everything had happened.

Shiro stepped forward, his jaw set and eyes determined. “Alright team, let’s do this. We’ll go out and asses the situation before fighting to come up with a good plan, and then we’ll take those suckers down.”

Keith glanced over at Lance- he could feel the worry blooming throughout the other one, which in turn made himself worry. Would Lance be able to do this? They had been in a few small skirmishes, yes, but nothing like this. This was their first  _ big  _ mission with Lance. But seeing the determination in the other boy’s eyes, and feeling how he was ready, Keith knew Lance could do this. This was their start to being a team again.

Everyone launched off their Lions, flying off into space, following Shiro. Keith could see the planet, and as they got closer, the Galrans that were fighting it. Silently, they entered the atmosphere of the Planet, Shiro careful to instruct them to stay hidden. They kept their distance, hiding among the large rocks and mountains that made that planet home, assessing the fleet and how large it was, until Keith’s heart stopped.

He caught a glimpse of that ship. The one he knew so well, fought against so many times. It was Lotor- that was the one they had to defeat.  

“Lance,” Keith spoke through the comm, his voice a little panicked, not knowing how things would play out. “Lance, are you okay? Can you fight?” 

There was a silence.  

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to cry,, I did it I made them do it I hope you guys are happy because I was waiting to write this FOR SO LONG like 60,000 words later and I finally do it i'm going to cry I hope u guys like it. It might kind of seem like lance is like perfectly fine again, but trust me he's not, it's only been 2 months, but like. He's doing better. He's adjusting- there's good days and bad days for everything and stuff. I tried my best, but I kind of felt like it turned out that way, but how do you guys feel about it? 
> 
> Also lotor (': he's back (': 
> 
> ALSO I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR ALL THIS SUPPORT I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD GET THIS FAR! 
> 
> Thank you (':


	15. Glacial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -blood warning   
> -broken bones warning

Lance took a deep breath as he stared out of Blue’s windows. He could see Lotor’s ship- the one he had showed him those months ago. He could still remember Lotor’s hand on his back as he gently guided him through that hangar, and the shock that had gone through him when he had seen Keith hiding, watching him. How he had tried to hide it from Lotor. How he had gotten all those scars on his back.  

  
He shivered, remembering the pain that had gone through him during that time, and then the sadness when he had told Keith to forget about him, and the acceptance that he would never see his family again. And then the love from Lotor all those hours later. He remembered everything, sitting in Blue, listening to her rumbles. Could he fight? Lance had answered yes, but he wasn’t so sure of that. There was a feeling deep inside of him that told him to turn around, to go hide in the safety in the castle while the others did his job for him, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Lance was a Paladin of Voltron, and he needed to do this for his team. 

“Lance?” It was Shiro’s voice, over the coms, “are you ready? Do you need a minute?”

He sharply inhaled, letting his breath exhale shakily. His hands tightened around Blue’s controls. “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go. Let’s do this.”

“Roger that… Team, let’s go! Target Lotor’s ship, if you can, but watch your back with those fighter ships! If we have to form Voltron, we will.” Shiro was as commanding as ever- a real leader. He knew how to direct the Paladins, knew how to assess this situation, so it made Lance feel a little bit better. A little more confident.

The others surged forward, and Lance followed; they darted from their cover, immediately shooting at the fleet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Keith guiding the Red Lion over to Lotor. He could feel Keith’s rage. His determination.

Biting his lip, Lance decided to focus at the task on hand, setting his sights on the fighter ships. He shot one, two, three down, and finally he was starting to gain more confidence. His hands didn’t shake. Blue praised him. His shots became more determined, coming out more quickly than before. He flew dynamically, twisting and rolling, dodging shots. He felt alive, soaring through the air with her, felt his fingertips burning with each and every shot he took. He few off of Keith, pushing harder and harder, but only having to back off as more ships came to try to overtake him and his team.

Lance worked with Pidge and Hunk while Shiro and Keith went after Lotor, keeping the Galran prince busy and distracted. Lance was pretty sure Lotor didn’t know it was him piloting the Blue lion, which was reassuring.

Until Lance shot out and Ice beam- something he had forgotten only he could do. Allura, for some reason hadn’t been able to do it- Blue hadn’t let her. But, she had unlocked Sonar Echolocation.

As soon as that one beam stuck onto one of the fighters ships, freezing it’s wing, zooming past Hunk, Pidge, Keith, Shiro, and finally Lotor, Lance knew something had changed. A switch had been flipped.  

Lotor’s ship pushed harder and harder against Keith and Shiro; it made it look like his previous attacks had just been him toying with them. Quickly, the two were on the verge of being overtaken and had called for help- Hunk, Pidge and Lance had quickly gone to their side.

Lance was scared. Lotor was pushing harder and harder- even with the 5 Paladins there, it was hard to keep up with him. Everyone was just taking shot after shot after shot, until Shiro had called for Voltron to be formed.

What was strange though, was that all the shots were mostly being pointed at Lance himself. Well, actually it wasn’t strange. It didn’t surprise Lance, but it certainly made him sweat harder and try his best not to get hit. Hunk and Pidge and Keith and Shiro had all been taking hits for him, helping him out, but Lotor still hadn’t resented. So now, as they got ready to form Voltron, Lance felt on edge. Something was going to happen, he could feel it.

And then it did. Just as he was soaring up into the sky, getting ready with everyone to form, something hit the side of his Lion. It pushed Lance out of formation, causing Blue to spiral out of control. Lance felt his head hit the dashboard with force, his ears ringing, stomach churning from the sheer G-Force that he and Blue were going through. There was a buzz in his ears- his tether with Keith was aching. He could feel Keith’s panic, feel his own, but for some reason he couldn’t make sense of it. Everything was happening too fast, too suddenly for Lance to really comprehend what was going on, or to do anything other than blindly grasp for the controls to try and make the spinning stop.

It didn’t work. He continued to spin. Blue was unresponsive.

As Lance spiraled away, crashing, tumbling down towards the planet, hundreds more fighter ships emerged, warped through a hole, overtaking the rest of the team. They no longer had the means to help Lance- despite how much Keith screamed at them to do so, trying to get away, but only getting shot at in the process. They were outnumbered, out masses and they had to focus on the ships in front of them in order to not get killed so that they could help Lance.

Lotor was nowhere near them now- his ship gently following Lance’s, watching as the Blue Lion crashed heavily onto the ground, ramming into the large rocks, breaking a few, lumbering to the ground. The Blue Lion was still. Lance was still.

* * *

 

Lance’s head hurt. Throbbed with sharp pain, actually. Something else on his body hurt too, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. It was somewhat lower though- maybe his leg? He had crashed pretty hard, he was sure. Something sticky dripped down his forehead, and Lance groaned- it was uncomfortable and he was pretty sure it was blood. He sighed, his body aching and still in a little bit of shock. He knew he couldn’t fight anymore, not with his head the way that it was, but maybe he could get back to the ship? A quick pop in into the healing pod, and he would be fine, right? Right.

“Okay Blue, let’s get the fuck out of here,” Lance mumbled, resting his hands on the controls. Nothing. She was silent- no rumble, no hum, no nothing. “ _ Blue,”  _ Lance repeated, a little panic edging onto his voice. Lotor could be out there, looking for him. “C’mon, we have to go.”

Nothing.

“Blue!”

Silence.

Lance let out a shaky sigh, trying not to let his hands tremble too much. Maybe one of his teammates could help him? Keith? He knew that Keith could definitely feel that Lance was in distress- their bond was still in place, and Lance could feel the intensity coursing through his bonded. He reached up to turn on his com.  

“Guys- I need help, I crashed Blue and now she’s not working, I-I’m hurt I’m pretty sure. Bleeding at least, can one of you guys pick me up?”  

All that Lance got was the roar of battle through the other’s coms- lasers being shot, yells, Keith, until Shiro managed to call in.

“Lance- too many,” static was breaking up the call, “we hear y-”  his voice came in fragments, “stay put we’ll get you when we can!”

Lance leaned back against his chair. That was great. His Lion was facing the mountain he had crashed into, so he couldn’t see anything, and he didn’t know if Lotor was out there, and his team was so caught up by the mass of fighters out there that they could barely keep themselves alive, not to mention zoom on down to rescue Lance.

The shock and adrenaline was wearing down from him, and he let out a groan of pain- it was definitely his leg. He looked down at it, and saw that it was angled in an odd way. His lower leg, under his knee. Sucking in a breath, Lance looked away. It would be fine. He was broken bones before- hell, he had even broken his leg before! It was one time when he was younger, around 13 or 14, and was trying to impress a group of boys he had met, and decided to do so by jumping off a house roof. It was not a good idea, but the break had been minimal. Was this break like the other? Lance hoped so, but it certainly felt like it hurt more.

Lance listened in on the coms. He wanted to make sure everyone was alright, but what he heard just scared him even more- they were asking where Lotor had went, and apparently he had disappeared. But there wasn’t any time for them to look for him, because they were still trying to finish off the swarm of fighters. Was Lotor looking for him? If so, Lance knew he couldn’t get away. He was stuck- he couldn’t move his leg, or put any weight on it. When he reached over for his blaster, which was lying not too far away on the ground, he found that it was broken. It couldn’t shoot. If  Lotor was looking for him, he was completely defenseless.

“Guys, I really need you- my, my leg is broken and my gun isn’t working and I don’t know if Lotor is looking for me or not, because i’m stuck here in my Lion!” There was clearly panic edging it’s way in Lance’s voice, scared and vulnerable. When he reached out to Keith through their bond, he found that Keith was feeling the same sense of panic, but more so frustration and anger. He couldn’t go and help him.

Lance sucked in another breath, resting his arms on Blue’s chair. He tried to shift his leg into a position more comfortable, but it sent up shooting pains, making his vision go spotted and breathing get shallow. No moving, then. He’d stay perfectly still.

A thin layer of sweat beaded across Lance’s forehead, mixing in with dried blood. He felt sticky and hot- he wanted to take off his helmet, but he knew that he shouldn’t, in case one of his team members needed to contact him. Just in case Keith needed to contact him. But the more he waited, the more he felt a sense of dread creep across him. There was something wrong, something really, really wrong. He felt like this was just a game, that someone was toying with him-  _ Lotor  _ was toying with him.

Lance felt isolated and alone, scared and in pain. He felt like a wounded deer, shot down by a hunter waiting for them to come and finish him off. His breaths stuck in his chest, and e felt like he was going to hyperventilate.

And then there was a series of three knocks on Blue's mouth. Three, spaced out knocks. They felt ominous- they gave off the same feeling he got whenever his Mama had talked about ghosts and demons, warning him never to answer the door at three am when he heard three knocks. It was the sign of the devil.

Her mouth opened, apparently still functional. Lance’s breath left his mouth as he saw who was standing there- the familiar armour, and sword. A tuft of white hair peeking out. It was Lotor. He watched in horror as the man stared at him, his eyes glinting beneath his helmet. He was frozen, like a deer in headlights as the prince grew closer and closer towards him, eyes with an animalistic tint in them.

“My warrior. My soldier. The gods have gifted you back to me.” His voice was quiet- to one it might sound soft, loving, but to Lance… Lance could hear what dwelled beneath it. He was scared. He was frozen.

A hand reached out to touch him, and he jerked back, choking out, “N-no!”

Lotor looked at him, drawing his hand back, smirking. “Feisty? Lost some of our good habits haven’t we? I guess I’ll just have to teach them to you again, among other things- after all, you left me thinking you were  _ dead. _ You left your mate, putting upon them the grief of losing one another- were you kept hostage? Kidnapped? Why are you here now?”    


Lance couldn’t breath. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t do anything. 

“Well, that all doesn’t matter now, does it? I have you back. I’ll bring you back to my ship and then we can  _ celebrate.” _

There was a flash of moving limbs, and something sharp pricked into Lance’ neck.

All of a sudden everything went dark.

 

* * *

Lotor looked over Lance, his eyes glinting.  The boy was laying on his bed again, his eyes peacefully closed. His forehead was sticky with sweat and blood, but after his healers had come in to look at Lance’s leg and patch it up, they had left him alone. Alone. Just for Lotor.

He almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Lance was alive. He hadn’t died- the bond hadn’t killed him. His mate was alive. He had known it as soon as he had seen that ice being shot out from the Blue Lion, a move he hadn’t seen since Lance had fought all those months ago. Since he had seen it on the feeds, or in person.  So Lotor had shot him down, sent the Blue Lion flying and had more fighters come in to take over the rest of the Paladins; they would have gone after Lance otherwise. 

Lotor hated them. Hated the paladins- at first it had just been a general dislike. They were enemies, and that was it- there was nothing personal about it. They were just on two opposing sides. But after they had taken Lance away from him, held his warrior against his own will, forced him to go through the pain of being away from his bonded, Lotor  _ hated _ them. Despised them. He could think of so many ways he could kill them in his mind- slowly, torturing so they would really feel the pain of what Lance had felt. Without him. Something only Lotor could do. No, this hatred he had towards the Paladins, and the Alteans on that castle far surpassed hate. He loathed them, thought of them in scorn. They needed to pay for the crimes they had committed.

But Lance came first. He needed to look at his warrior, to savour him, to take him in. The marriage needed to be set in place again, the trials needed to be done. It didn’t matter if Lance was no longer bonded to Lotor; they could always do it again. He would give Lance the liquid. Make Lance drink the liquid. 

Lotor didn’t care if his healers had carefully informed him that Lance was already bonded to another person- a paladin back on the ship. He simply refused to acknowledge it. It wasn’t real. It didn’t exist. He had no recollection of that ever happening. His bond with Lance had simply been severed, not switched, and it would be easy to get that bond back. To make it like it once was.

Lance stirred. Lotor’s eyes glided over him, settling on the boy’s face. He could see his eyes fluttering open, a low moan escaping from his mouth. He moved slightly, stretching out his arms, leg, until he stopped frozen, apparently in pain. 

Hissing under his breath, Lotor cursed his healers- hadn’t they fixed him up properly? Wait. They did- they had warned Lotor that the boy would be in pain for a few hours until the medicines that they had applied to him took place. Unlike what the Alteans had, the medical pods, the Galra had a vast extent of medicines, salves, and magic that worked their way into healing the wounded. The healing process was longer than the pods yes, but it allowed for their warriors to stay awake during the process which was seen as honourable within the Galran society. To face their wounds head on, without the comfort of sleep. Obviously, pain had it’s limits- the body sometimes shut itself down, but that was seen as honourable too. To push your body so far for the Galran empire that it breaks. Shuts down. 

Lotor liked to think that was what happened with Lance. His mate was honourable.

Lance stirred again, this time his eyes opening fully. They were wide- scared. Lotor chuckled, gently approaching the edge of the bed.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now- you’re back with me, my little warrior.” He cooed gently, looking over Lance, expecting the scared expression to go away. But to his surprise, it only grew deeper.

“W-why, why am I here? P-Prince, pl-please” His mate’s voice was different. It sounded terrified. Not like the one he was used to hearing. Lotor was puzzled.

“You’re here because I saved you- your Lion crashed and your teammates weren’t about to get you. When I found you, it looked as though you were going to bleed to death, and your leg was broken.” Lotor tried to blend in some of his charm into his voice, soothing over the boy. Lance seemed pacified for a second, before his features turned sour again.

“My-my teammates couldn’t get me because you put the fighter ships on them! You’re the one who shot me down!” Oh no. How could Lance sound so accusing? Towards his mate? Oh, this couldn’t do. Where had all his hard work gone?

“Tsk, have those people really brainwashed you that much? That was their plan- to get rid of you. It wasn’t me that shot you, it was one of them, don’t you remember? I was the one who went to go rescue you!”

You could see Lance’s adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. “N-No, you’re wrong. They wouldn’t do that to me-  _ Keith  _ wouldn’t do that to me.”

Something flashed beneath Lotor’s eyes. Anger surged through him and he lunged forward, gripping Lance’s delicate little jaw between his fingertips, nail sinking in just enough to draw blood. “ _ I saved you. You are going to be married to me, I am your mate. That is all you need to know, understand?”  _ His words came out in a growl, threatening, terrifying.

Lance nodded yes, the blood from his cheek dripping down from his chin and onto the white bed sheets.

 

* * *

One minute, Keith was in the rage of battle, trying his damn hardest to get away from those fucking fighter ships to go and save Lance, because he felt Lance’s pain through the bond- he felt Lance’s panic and he knew that he was scared and hurt, and then the other all of them were gone. The fighters, the larger ship, everything. Gone. 

It left the team sitting there, panting hard, catching their breath from a seemingly impossible battle before it all dawned on them: Lance wasn’t talking through his com anymore. His signal was silent, only static filling the air.

Keith could feel his panic welling up in his throat- so intense it threatened to take over. But he took a deep breath, knowing he had to stay strong for Lance. He took a deep breath and urged Red forward, down towards where they had last seen Lance cash.

The rest of the team followed Keith- even Shiro, even though he was technically the leader. They kept their eyes out for the Blue lion, ready to rush in so that they could help the Blue Paladin. But Keith had a feeling. It was deep in his gut, rooted inside of him, to his tether. He could feel that Lance was gone. Not the type of gone when he had felt Lance crash, being far away from him, but light years away gone- so far that he could hardly feel anything at all. Only an inkling of the boy’s feelings, and they were alarmingly close to the ones he felt when Lance was asleep.  

Surging forward, Keith finally spotted the Blue Lion, pushing Red quickly towards it, urging her to go faster and faster before he finally had her screeching to a stop beside it, dragging claw marks into the hard, grey stone.

Blue lay there, on her side. Keith couldn’t see whether or not her mouth was open, because she was facing the other way, but he didn’t know if he wanted to know. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if Lance wasn’t there. However, the possibility that Lance was there, and somehow there was just something jumbled up with their tether because he was hurt pushed Keith further, hopping out of red and quickly running forward. The other Paladins landed beside him, and quickly followed suit.

There was silence. That was the first thing Keith sensed when he neared Blue, jogging around to find her mouth. There was no hum, or any evidence that she was up and working; Lance had been right about her being down and out of commission. However, when he rounded her, he saw that her mouth was open. His heart skipped a beat, and he took a tentative step inside, then another and another until he was fully facing Lance’s chair and Blue’s controls.

Lance wasn’t there. Keith felt his legs go wobbly as he stared at the empty space. This wasn’t happening.

“No.  _ No!” _

He sunk to his knees. Lance’s suit was on the ground, along with his helmet- drops of blood splattered the floor like a work of art. The others came running in, out of breath, panting. They too, stopped, staring around the Lion, mouths open, hands dropping to their sides.

Hot tears hit the ground. Keith reached forward to grab Lance’s helmet, staring at the blood that smeared the visor. He saw himself in the reflection, and looked away. A sob tore its way through Keith’s throat, filling the air. 

“Fuck! No! Lance! … Lance…” His fist slammed onto the ground, rattling his bones and making a large noise. 

They were shocked. Everyone was.

Keith sat there, on his knees, sobbing, crying, cursing. Shiro had put his hand on Keith’s shoulder- shaking trembling, hardly fine himself and was only greeted with a growl, violently knocking it away.

“Fuck! We should have never let him go out!  _ I _ should have never let him go out- this was too much for him and now he’s gone! Again!” Keith’s words were sounding less and less cohesive as he sobbed and cried, clutching onto Lance’s helmet for dear life.

“Keith.” 

“No! Shiro! No!” Keith snapped. He didn’t even know what he was snapping at Shiro for.

_ “Keith.”  _ Shiro’s voice was harsher this time, more commanding.

“What.”

“Is he alive? Can you feel him?”

Keith swallowed. He could feel him- he could tell that Lance was far, far away, but not dead. There was an aching feeling going throughout Keith’s body- not harsh, not too there, but present all at the same time.

“Yes. I-I can feel him.” He sniffed, tears dripping off the point of his nose.

“Then he’s alive. And if he’s alive, we’ll find him.” Shiro’s jaw hardened, as Keith looked up at him, the helmet still clutched between his fingers. “We won’t fail Lance like we did last time.  _ We’ll get him back.” _

Keith continued to look up at his leader, eyes watery, something behind them that said he was broken. He nodded, shakily. His breaths came out ragged. He looked around, seeing everyone else staring in horror, shock. Just like him. But he knew they cared. He knew that Lance knew they cared. They would get him back.

And he would kill Lotor in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COULDN'T WAIT I HAD TO WRITE UP THE NEXT PART OF THIS AND BOY I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HATE ME 
> 
> I'm so sorry I'm doing this to you guys, to baby keith and lance but it's part of the story okay please don't kill me! 
> 
> This is going to be the pivotal part of this story- so please pay attention carefully as everything unfolds!! Things are going to get really serious and some stuff is going to happen, so please be aware- I hope you guys will like what I have in store! 
> 
> Maybe after I finish this fic, I'll do something a little more light. Maybe. I think dark might be my thing but I could try. 
> 
> Anyways, as always, thank you!! Oh, and a Happy Thanksgiving!!! (Canadian)


	16. Clear

Time had passed. Lance wasn’t sure the exact amount, but he knew it was a couple days at the very least; they had been spent in and out of consciousness, being healed with Lotor at his side. Finally his leg had been mended, still a little sore, but he could put pressure on it now. He could walk. Which meant Lance could escape.

He needed to escape. The bond he had with Keith made it so- if he didn’t leave, within a week, or a little more, both of them would be in pain, both too incapacitated to get to each other. Plus, he had no clue what Lotor would do- the prince wasn’t the same, wasn’t how he had remembered him… there was an air of insanity that clouded Lotor whenever he walked into the room, or got close to Lance. There was a glint in his eye; this wasn’t the Lotor Lance remembered.

It made Lance think. Maybe Lotor had been like this the whole time, obsessed and a little crazy, but he hadn’t realized it. He had been knocked down, captured, insecure about himself and his role in the Voltron team, and Lotor had given him that security, while simultaneously convincing him that his friends didn’t need, or want him. He saw that know, as Lotor tried to do it all over again, whispering in his ear at night about how he was the only one who loved Lance, trying to convince him that his team had just captured him and held him hostage against his own will. It had almost gotten to Lance, the lies almost digging down into his core, but he refused to believe it. He knew how his team felt about him. How Keith felt about him, and that was all that mattered- whether he was fit to be a paladin, or not.

Despite Lance’s begging in the beginning (he had quickly learned to keep his mouth shut,) Lotor wouldn’t acknowledge that he was bonded with someone else- the prince  _ had  _ to know, but he always brushed it off. Claimed that things would be right in the end. It made Lance shutter at the thought; would Lotor force him into a bond change? He knew he wouldn’t be able to survive it, survive the pain of it all again- his body wouldn’t be able to take the stress. It had been a miracle that both him and Keith had survived the first one.

And Keith. Keith. The bond between them was too strong- if they were separated, their bond severed, he knew Keith would die. And then Voltron would be down two Paladins- the entire galaxy was at risk.

The thought of that was enough to make Lance risk his life every time Lotor left the room- frantically getting to his feet and trying to find a way out of the room, a way to escape. He’d thought of grabbing a pod and hightailing out of there, but that idea was quickly shot down by his greater conscience. Lotor obviously had set guards up outside of the room, and if somehow he was able to get past them, finding the pod area, much less getting in one and taking off was almost impossible.

After was actually  _ finding  _ Voltron. Sure, he could get to the nearest planet, and try to contact them from there, but all the pods had trackers on them and Lance didn’t know how to disable them without Pidge and he knew full well that it would be a mad manhunt for him the minute Lotor caught wind of his disappearance.

So that left Lance with only one choice: he’d have to find a way to contact Keith, the castle and send them his coordinates to save him. He’d have to rely on his team for a second time, though hopefully it wouldn't take 6 months. Because if it did, both he and Keith would be dead. Being separated from each other would kill them.  

Lance thought about all this, as he sat at the edge of Lotor’s bed, legs criss-crossed, elbows resting on his knees, head in hands. Surely getting to a control room wasn’t as hard as getting to the pods, right? He’d have a chance- the guards had to be switched at one point, there had to be a break in the system. He would find it. He would exploit any weakness that Lotor had, the galra had because his life and keith’s life depended on it.

His stomach rumbled, and he wondered when Lotor would get back. He figured they would eat dinner together, like they always had before he had been rescued. The food was good, so he never complained about that, but he shivered at the actual thought of Lotor coming back into the room. Lance knew what would normally happen after they ate- sex. It was something that they had always done beforehand, something Lance remembered that he  _ enjoyed _ , but now… it made him feel a little sick. Would Keith somehow feel what Lance was feelings- the emotions he was going through?

He hoped not. He really fucking hoped not, because he knew he liked Keith and that Keith liked him because they had made out and there was the bond between them, and there was something special, and…. Keith couldn’t feel what Lance was feeling when that happened. He couldn’t feel the spark of arousal that he might get because his body was still used to it, or maybe the pleasure because at the end of the day his body always gave in, even if his head wasn’t into it, and… No. Keith wouldn’t feel it.  And if he did, he’d understand. Lance would make sure he did.

His skin jumped as there was a click of the door, and footsteps approaching him. He looked up. Lotor was there, holding the tray of food, it’s contents still steaming. There was a glint in his eye and Lance was forced to smile. 

* * *

Lotor sneered as the plans were made final. He could feel the little gleam inside of him, happy that it was finally happening. The trials were set in place- happening now, right after he fetched his mate. He could already see the people heading down the hallways, gathering to go to the gladiator ring to watch the ceremony. The trials.  

He smiled to himself as he collected Lance’s uniform- pure white, as always. His own, was black, laced with purple undertones. They were traditional garbs that the Galra had been using for thousands of years for the trials; he knew his people would love the sight of Lance in them as much as he did.

He had waited so long for this. So long for  _ Lance,  _  Lotor could feel the desire flowing through his blood. He wanted it to be official. The trials to be over, to have Lance accepted as one of their own, even in Haggar’s eyes. Then, after came the wedding ceremony; it was already planned. To be broadcasted to all Galra stations, so that everybody could see it, watch it, relish it. Lotor knew it was the talk everybody was talking about now- from the way his soldiers silenced when he walked into the rooms, their gazes averting from his, a sheepish look on their faces. The more attention he and Lance got, the better; they’d be regarded higher. Perhaps even higher than his own father.

The trials would make sure of that- he was sure that Lance could handle them, even if his little warrior might be a bit out of practice. He’d be able to take down the final challenger- after all, he had done it the first time, hadn’t he? That was how Lotor had tested him, and sure enough Lance had come out on top, all those months ago in the Gladiator rings.

Of course, Lotor wasn’t worried about himself, either. He knew that his own time in the rings would be a breeze- he was aware that he was one of the, if not, the best fighters on the ship. He had proven that time and time again, working his way to the top to gain his subordinate’s loyalty and trust.  All would be well.

* * *

 

Lance felt his breaths quicken as he was led down the familiar hallways- he recognized the path. The gladiator rings.

Lotor had told him what was going on. What was going to happen- the trails. He had mentioned them before, but hadn’t explained until now. Until he was actually doing them. He felt his chest tighten with panic- Lance remembered what had happened in his time in the rings. How many innocents he had killed just to stay alive. It had been something he had pushed down, too overwhelmed with everything else to confront it, but now everything just came soaring up again, crushing down on him. He could feel his tug on Keith, making him wonder if he could feel how Lance was feeling right now.

He swallowed hard as the familiar doors came into view, his white garbs feeling itchy against his skin. Lotor’s explanation of everything ran through his head again:

Both would go through trials in turn, to prove their worth as mates. They would work their way up higher and higher, until finally they each faced one last opponent: a competitor chosen by the crowd. The only thing that was different from other gladiator battles was that Lance didn’t have to kill anybody- they would admit defeat, and then he’d move on. They couldn’t kill Lance either, but Lotor had warned him against losing. He couldn’t lose.

The doors opened, and Lance went through- he noticed the difference now, with how the guards treated him. They didn’t push, or shove. They merely guided them, firm, but respectful.

He waited. His bayard was given to him- it made Lance happy to see that he was finally reunited with his weapon of choice, and despite everything that was happening, he was happy to put it to use. Lance wasn’t killing this time, so some of the guilt had been pushed off of him. 

The guards left him alone- the room was empty, but Lance could hear the cheering coming from outside- Lotor was fighting already, winning apparently. Well, that didn’t surprise Lance. He was just glad he didn’t have to go against him. But what was bothering Lance was the draining felin he was already getting from being so far away from Keith. It made his limbs feel like lead, and his eyes were a bit droopy, and overall he was a little bit uncomfortable. At least he wasn’t in pain… not yet, anyways.

There was another roar from the crowd, louder this time. It made Lance perk up from his thoughts, muscles tensing. Suddenly, the grand doors opened, light flooding from them. Lotor walked through them, standing tall. He had his sword in his hand and his hair down, not wearing any helmet. He looked disheveled, but satisfied all at once. Their eyes met and Lance felt a shiver go down his spine, tearing his eyes away, squeezing them shut. A breath brushed past his ear.

“Go win this for me, my little warrior.”  

He opened them and Lotor was gone. The doors were left open, ready for him to walk through. Lance clutched onto his bayard, swallowing hard. This was it. His opponent was waiting for him.

* * *

Lance was slammed to the ground again- another racking cough mingled with a sob escaped from him. His body hurt. It hurt so much- he had been thrown to the ground, cut, punched, he was sure there was multiple bones broken. Not only that, but his time away from Keith seemed to be wearing the bond thin already; the waves of pain coming from deep down inside of him were starting to emerge. This was not his day. Or month. Or year, for all that matter. Everything sucked and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball, protect his stomach and stay there until voltron came to get him. 

But he couldn’t do that. 

Taking in another ragged breath, the cuban boy struggled to his feet, legs shaking, arms feeling numb. His bayard was still clutched in between his fingers, (that were bruised- he was pretty sure some of them had been broken.) as he looked forward at his opponent. 

They were tall, yet fast, delivering lightning quick blows. But now they stayed standing in front of him, sneering, their fangs glinting in the heavily lighted area.  Despite how much Lance had been beaten down to the ground, the Galra he was facing had some injuries too- Lance hadn’t been completely useless, after all. He had trained all those months for a battle like this. But the bond, and the stress of everything was wearing him down, making him tire and lose focus easier.

“Do you give up weakling?” They hissed, eyes narrowed, smirk still on their face. 

“No.” 

“Suit yourself, then.”

There was one thing he noticed as the Galra began advancing on him again, seemingly taking their time in the process. They had a limp on their left side- it was slight, barely noticeable, but it was there. He wondered what would happen if he shot there.

Wait. They were too close now, no-

He brought up his bayard, blocking the attack as it turned into a shield.

It was going to have to be a close range battle then.

Lance jumped back, gritting his teeth. He readied himself for another blow- taking it hard against the shield, but able to push back against it, giving himself enough space to get his own blow in. 

Time seemed to slow down. His breaths came in raggedy. 

All he could think about was that leg. 

That leg. 

That leg.

That leg.

He took the shot. He could feel the heat of the laser as if left his gun, couldn’t see anything for a second as the flash came out of it, hitting his opponent so close range. Everything was white until a strangled scream emitted through the air and there was a loud thud as a body hit the ground.

His vision came back to him, and Lance looked at the ground- at the opponent writhing around on it, clutching whatever was left of his bottom leg.

“Do you surrender?” Lance could barely hear the words coming from his mouth.

“Yes! Yes, oh,” they let out a long, drawn out noise. “Yes, I surrender.”

“Good.”

Well, it was good. Really good, because Lance’s vision was swimming in front of him. He couldn’t tell which way was up, or which way was down, and then he felt his body hit something hard and everything was black.

Pure black.

 

* * *

Lance’s eyes opened again, from however many times he had fucking passed out while on this ship. Seriously? Twice in what- a 2 days? Why couldn’t he catch a break? He was annoyed by it, by being so unconscious before the pain hit him and he immediately decided he wanted to go back to sleep. Wanted to be knocked out- if he banged his head hard enough, that would happen, right? Maybe. He reached out through the bond, trying to see if he could feel Keith in some way, to tell him he was alright, but still, y’know, _ not okay _ , at least not dead, but he couldn’t feel anything. Anything except for the pain that came from being away from him.

He continued to stare at the ceiling- he could hear shuffling around him, but Lance couldn’t bring himself to move his neck to look. That is, until an unfamiliar face popped up in front of him, and he yelped, scrambling back, away from whoever it was. That earned him a flare of pain going through his body- he groaned, falling limp against the bed.

“Hush, little one. I am not here to hurt you- I am merely here to help you get ready for the marriage ceremony. I am the only one who will be permitted to see you in the meantime.”

Ceremony? Oh right, that was a thing. Something Lance had forgotten about, until now. He swallowed hard and nodded, forcing himself to sit up. 

“You’re the only one allowed to see me? Where’s Lotor?”    
  
“Back, across the castle in the traditional waiting rooms. He will be kept there until you are ready, up until the ceremony is about to begin.” 

The Galra speaking reminded him of the ones that had cleaned and healed him the first time he had gone to see Lotor- gentle, and non-threatening. They were smaller in height and stature than all the rest he had seen… Lotor was gone! He was stuck in a room! Away from Lance- nobody was watching him, save for the one Galra in his room!

“So… nobody’s close by? Even the guards?” Lance bit his lip, his heart beat a little faster. 

“That’s right- nobody is allowed to see you until the ceremony. All Galra have been removed from this part of the ship for your safekeeping.”

He had a chance! A chance to escape! Lance’s heart kept beating; he felt excited, and not so beaten down for time since arriving onto the ship. This could be his chance. His chance to contact Voltron, to let them know where he was- he could do this!

Lance just had to wait until the one inside of his room had their back turned, or left, or something. He could even try to fight them, maybe; knock them out and then go on with the ceremony until Voltron came to get him. He could do this. He would do this. 

So he waited. He went along with what the Galra wanted- he put on the layers and layers of soft white silk, laced, with intricate designs on them. It wasn’t a dress, thank god- the under layers were pants and a tunic, but the closest thing he could relate it too was maybe a kimono. Something like that- but he wasn’t exactly thinking about the design of whatever the fuck he had to wear to Lotor’s ceremony. He was waiting, watching for the perfect time to leave. To signal.

Then finally.  _ Finally.   _ They shuffled out of the room, talking about having to grab the last bit of clothing for him. He knew immediately that the door hadn’t been locked, and with the lack of guards outside of his door, Lance knew that this was his perfect opportunity.

He dashed. Quickly to the door, quietly peeking out from it, looking both ways. There was no sign of anybody being there. The outfit dragged him down, but he dared not ruin it for fear that someone would notice when he got back. When he went through with the ceremony.

Lance knew the ship enough to head vaguely in the area of a small tech room he had once seen. That alone would be enough- he was no Pidge when it came to technology and science, but he figured he would know how to send out a quick message with his coordinates to the team. Or at least, broadcast it out into space and hope that they would get it.

His footsteps were loud in the corridors, but he knew nobody could hear them. He had to be fast enough to get in and out and back to his room before anybody noticed. Finally, he was facing the room; he quickly slipped in, and found himself looking at a mass of technology he didn’t understand.

Not to worry. He would get this. 

Only, he didn’t. Lance stood there trying for 30 seconds, then a minute, then two, and he couldn’t get the stupid thing to work. He had seen Pidge do it so many times- made it look so effortless, so why couldn’t he?! Lance knew that he was running out of time. It was obvious. He had to go.

Tears sprung to his eyes- why couldn't he just fucking get this? Why couldn’t he send out a distress signal- be saved, have everything be okay?  Why couldn’t he just be fucking useful on his own! His hands slammed against the control boards as his tears dripped down from his chin. He needed to leave- needed to go back to his room before somebody caught on as to what he was doing… he had failed.

Lance turned around, sniffing, about to head out, before he came face to face with the Galra that had helped him put on his clothes. His face paled and his throat went dry, his hands curling up into little fists. 

“I-I was wondering where you went!” He lied, hoping they would take the bait. “You were taking so long… so I thought I would look for you and I got lost… I’m sorry- p-please don’t tell Lotor. He’ll be angry with me.” 

Their eyes squinted, and Lance found himself wishing the Galra had pupils. His heart beat in his chest, drumming loudly against it.  

“You were trying to escape- to call your friends, Voltron to help you.” Their voice was raspy.

“N-No! I promise- that wasn’t what I was trying to do!”

“Well, you were doing it wrong. They placed in a new system while you were gone. Thankfully, lucky for you, there’s already a broadcast going to be sent to Voltron. During the ceremony.” 

“I wasn’t trying t- wait, what?”    
  
“You heard me! There’s already a broadcast happening! Voltron will know where you are once the ceremony starts because it’s going to be broadcast across the Galaxy. I just happened to put the coordinates in them, too.” They snapped, impatient. Their ears twitched, as they looked around them, slightly worried. “But come, we must go back to your room to finish getting ready. It’s not safe here- I’ll explain everything to you once we get back.” 

Lance nodded, dumbfounded.

As soon as the door closed behind them, as they entered Lotor’s room once again, the Galra turned around, facing him. 

“I am a part of the Blade of Marmora and I’m here to help you. All you need to do is go through with the ceremony- keep Lotor happy and distracted while we get everything into place.” 

Lance nodded, swallowing hard. He could feel something rising deep in the pit of his stomach, another wave of pain taking over him. 

“Okay. I can do that.”

* * *

Lance stood, in the little waiting room off to the side of the arena; it had been transformed greatly from the last time he had seen it.  The fabric weighed him down, and he had a special sort of paint spread across his skin, tracing delicate patterns into it. Lance felt overwhelmed, even though he was out of sight  as the roar of the crowd engulfed him; he could hardly imagine being out there, in the middle of everything. It was almost as if he couldn’t believe what was going on.

His hands felt clammy as he rubbed them on the fabric on his thighs, textured against his hand. He breathed in through his nose, deep, exhaling slowly to try to keep himself calm. He sought out the cameras around him, hoping, pleading that they would soon be on, signalling Voltron. Lance hated the idea of Keith and the rest seeing what he was going through, but to be honest… this wasn’t as bad as all the other times he had been broadcast. At least now he knew about it.

There was the cue. He had learned it just before- when he was signaled to enter. Lotor would enter from the other side, and all eyes would be on the both of them as they saw each other for the first time in the traditional clothes. He stepped forward, blinding by the light, and the roar of the crowd.

Lance continued to walk, trying his best not to trip on his clothes- the dirt of the arena had been replaced with classy flooring, one that drew out the path for him as he walked, glowing white with every step he took. Pain radiated through him, and he had to pant to keep himself going forward. Lance looked forward and saw Lotor- standing, waiting for him, having reached the stage already. There was a glint in his eye as he worse black and purple, his white hair pulled back into a delicate, intricate braid. At one point, Lance would have thought he was handsome- at one point, Lance might have even been happy that something like this was happening. But now, he was scared.

He prayed that the broadcast would work. He prayed that Keith would get it.

He prayed that Keith would save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (: another one out! I hope you guys are happy with it!! 
> 
> Everything lance wears is white b/c white silk and lace I find is really beautiful and lance is really beautiful so you gotta put those two together. Honestly i'd love to see him drawn in white maybe I'll do that ! Also Lotor's hair,,, like I was just imagining it being like... Thranduil in a way but beautifully braided
> 
> thank you guys I love you guys so much !
> 
> PS: there may be bitch slapping next chapter
> 
> ALSO I FORGOT TO PUT THIS IN I WATCHED SEASON 4 AND I LOVED IT WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVED IT ALL IM GOING TO SAY IS *slight spoiler* CORAN ON CRACK IS MY FAVOURITE THING PLS TALK TO ME ABOUT IT


	17. Violet Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -blood warning

“Shiro I don’t care if we don’t know where Lotor’s ship is- we _ need  _ to go out looking for it. I’m going crazy. Lance is probably going crazy- he’s stuck with Lotor; who knows what he could be fucking doing to him, we need to go. Right now.” Keith was verging on the edge of hysteria. His whole body told him to go and find Lance, to be close to him, to figure out wherever he was. He hurt. His mind hurt. He needed to find him.

The tether between him and Lance was like static- it was fuzzy, still existent but it was drowned out. They were too far away from each other to actually feel one another, and it made Keith want to tear his hair out. Made him want to punch Shiro for once again putting Lance off, even though he knew logically that wasn’t what Shiro was doing. He was just trying to do whatever was the best and not jump into things; he had a leader’s perspective but Keith couldn't understand. He wouldn’t understand.

Once, just once Keith had gotten a feed on how Lance was doing. It was fleeting, there for a second before gone, but he had felt it; Lance’s emotions. Lance was scared. Determined, but terrified. Feeling that almost hurt Keith more than not feeling at all. What was happening? Was Lance alright? No, he wasn’t alright, how could anybody be, being held prisoner on a Galra’s ship? Especially being with a Crazy Galra prince who bonded you without permission; Lotor was at the root of everything.

“Keith. We’re trying our best- Pidge is scouring every edge of the universe with her scanning signal to see if we can catch sight of anything. I know this is hard- I know the bond is telling you all these things, but we need to keep a calm head about this.” Shiro tried to explain soothingly, his human hand coming up to rest on Keith’s shoulder. “I know we’ve gone through this before, and I know it brings in bad memories, but we’re all trying our best. But if Pidge doesn’t get any signals soon, we’ll set up a mission to visit a Galran base and try to get information that way.”

Keith took in a deep breath. He could still feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands as he curled them together, trying to keep himself under control. “I.. I know. It’s just so  _ hard _ , Shrio. You don’t know what I felt when I saw that Lance’s ship was empty- the first time the bond went fuzzy…. And my body is starting to hurt now, so I know the same’s happening to Lance, possibly even worse. We need to do the mission _ now, _ Shiro. Please.”

Keith watched as Shiro looked away, biting his lip- it was a habit their leader had picked up in the recent months, probably from stress. Things even got to Shiro. He looked back, letting out a sigh. “Okay, Keith. We’ll do it now- let’s go and let everybody know.” 

A weight seemed to be lifted off of Keith’s shoulders- he knew he was about to go do something that would possibly help Lance, instead of just waiting on the ship while Pidge and Hunk tried to find signals. He felt like he was actually being useful for a change. 

They started to walk down towards the command room when a blaring signal went through the air- it no longer startled Keith, like it used to, but he caught himself letting out a little gasp of air. He flashed a look towards Shiro, before breaking out into a run.

“Allura! What’s happening?!” Shiro questioned, dashing towards her- she had her eyes up towards a large screen. Something was playing that Keith couldn’t understand just yet. 

“It’s… a broadcast… from Lotor’s ship.” 

Keith’s eyes went wide as he slowed down looking up- Hunk and Pidge came running in, out of breath and surprised. 

He could see what was happening. At first he couldn’t decipher, but one flash of that pure white silk, laced, and a head of maple brown hair, Keith knew. It was Lance. They were broadcasting Lance as he walked down some runway- lights angled on him. 

“Oh my god!” Pidge screamed. She had taken her laptop with her, and had hooked it up to the system the moment she saw the broadcast. “There’s coordinates on here! Actual coordinates- this is live!, I-I know where they are!” Pidge pressed a few keys on her keyboard and the coordinates flew up to the screen next to the broadcast, showing just where exactly they were in the universe. “ 

“We need to head there and get Lance,  _ now _ !” Growled Keith as he continued to watch- he didn’t like what he was seeing. It reminded him of a wedding.  

“H-Hold on, a message came with it. Let me decipher it really quick.” Another flash of typing keys, and silence. Allura watched the screen with a weird sense of dedication in her eyes- Coran gently urged Pidge on. “Okay! Okay I got it- It says that… ‘this is a live broadcast of Prince Lotor and Lance Mcclain’s mate ceremony- similar to what one would call a wedding. As customary to the tradition, after the ceremony they shall spend 48 hours locked away from the outside world to consummate their vows- during this time no guards nor Galra will be within their immediate area…. Otherwise, after the Prince’s mate will always be protected to ensure safety at all times... ” She trailed off, hitting the end of the the message. “I think it’s someone trying to tell us that we should help Lance after the ceremony- there won’t be anybody except the Prince himself to stop us..”

Keith inhaled sharply. Lance? Being married to Lotor? His heart sped up- no, that couldn’t happen. “We have to let Lance get married first? I don’t want that.” 

“Keith, Lance is surrounded by thousands of Galra right now. If we go in to get him while the ceremony is happening, we’ll all be dead… technically if we grab him before him and Lotor well.. Y’know, ‘consummate their vows,’ it’s not real, in a way?” 

Anger went through him. He did  _ not  _ want to think about Lance doing those things with Lotor ever again. It made him sick. But he knew they were right. “Fine. But let’s go- they’re far away, and we need to make sure we’re there on time.” 

Shiro rested another hand on his shoulder. “Of course. We’ll rescue him, Keith, I promise.” 

 

* * *

Keith piloted the red Lion, breathing in through his nose, exhaling through his mouth. He could feel the bond growing less staticy by the moment. He could feel himself getting closer to Lance- could lance feel it too? 

He shook his head. Keith needed to focus- they were growing closer to the Galra ship; undetected so far. Pidge had managed to get a map of the ship which showed where Lotor’s room was- most likely where he and Lance would be staying. A shiver went down his spine. 

The plan was simple. Since apparently that side of the ship, near Lotor’s room would be more or less empty due to the Galran traditions, getting through to his room wouldn’t be all that hard. Getting Lance, however was a different story. They’d have to fight Lotor, take Lance away. Granted, the team was going to stay together- Shiro had decided on it, with confirmation from Allura. The more against Lotor, the better; they couldn’t risk him calling in reinforcements, either.

There was plenty at stake. Keith knew it. But he was determined to get Lance back- he hold him close again. He wanted to kiss Lance again. Wanted to feel the energy he felt after waking up with Lance in his arms from a night asleep together. He just wanted Lance back, and he’d stop at nothing to get it.  

* * *

 

“Alright team, let’s head forward,” Shiro said over the comms; he was right in front of Keith, but their helmets made it hard to hear each other without using the system. They moved as a group, with Allura keeping constant watch for enemies; so far, there seemed to be none. The message had been correct. Keith moved forward, keeping an eye out for everyone around him, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly distracted. He kept getting more and more flashes of Lance; what he was feeling, how he was doing. He could sense frenzy- nervousness, but also… a sense of determination. Did he knew Keith was there, just about to come and rescue him? Was he using that to try to calm himself down? Keith didn’t know, but he liked to think so. Hopefully Lance was glad to see that he was there. 

He was scared Lance wouldn’t want to leave, like the last time he had seen him with Lotor. When he had told Keith to forget about him while blood dripped down his back, staining that beautiful white shirt red. He didn’t want to see Lance like that again. He wanted to see the smiling Lance- the one that had gently curled his pinky around his own, the one that had kissed him back with passion that one night under the stars before everything had happened. Keith didn’t want Lance to forget about him.

They continued forward, Shiro leading cautiously. They rounded corner after corner of empty corridor; it was silent, which made Keith feel uneasy. Pidge was beside him, clutching her bayard while Hunk took up the rear, gun ready for anything that might happen. Even Shiro had his hand activated, just in case. Keith was just about to ask how close they were to the room, before Shiro stopped abruptly, listening in to what Allura started to say over the comm.

“You four are two doors away; there seems to be no other enemies present, and Lotor and Lance seem to be in the room.” 

Keith could tell. He could feel it- they were so close. He could feel Lance again; he could feel the apprehension running through the other boy, panic laced with fear. He had felt it before, but now yet this strong; they needed to help Lance fast. Needed to get him away from that situation. 

Shiro looked behind him, making direct eye contact with Keith as they stepped forward, nearing the door. Everybody stood silent, not wanting to give away their position; they wanted this to be a surprise. Keith nodded, giving his leader the go. 

Shiro slashed the panel. It burnt and fried- the door slid open, as Keith and the others braced themselves activating their weapons. Keith looked forward. 

Lotor was straddling Lance on the bed; their shirts were off. Like a wave, Lance’s emotion’s hit him, and all Keith could see was red. Burning, hot anger.

He surged forward, footsteps loud against the tile flooring. His fist connected with Lotor’s jaw as the prince turned around.

* * *

The ceremony seemed to happen in a blur. Lance couldn't understand half of it, as it was spoken in some sort of ancient Galran; he understood bits and pieces, and could recite what he was supposed to recite, but he still felt lost. His heart beat in his chest- he hoped, prayed to whatever Dios there was that Voltron had seen the broadcast. That they were coming to get him. 

He had caught the eye of the one Blade of Marmora member in the crowd- they had held eye contact for a moment, before looking away, not wanting to draw attention. He hoped that they were right. That they weren’t lying to him. But… if any other Galran had caught Lance trying to escape, they would have warned Lotor and punished him, right? None of that had happened so far, and judging by Lotor’s happy expression as he stood next to thim, the prince had no idea what he had done. What was hopefully going on. 

The ceremony was over. The lights around Lotor and him went out- hiding them in the darkness. Apparently now was their time to be hidden away from the public eye; Lotor had whispered those words into Lance’s ears. Now was their time to be alone. Lance didn’t want that- he feared that, but he couldn’t show his apprehension or else Lotor would grow angry. He knew he had to keep the prince happy and distracted if Voltron was ever to come and rescue him.

Lotor led him down the halls. They were silent- all the guards, workers, everything had stayed cleared, just like when Lance was being prepared. They were to stay out of sight of everyone else- drones would bring them their meals, and Lotor would take care of him. To show Lance that he was a good mate- in turn, Lance had to give himself completely. Galran traditions were fucked.

As they walked down the halls, Lotor’s arm wrapped around Lance, pulling him in closer, Lance felt something tug deep inside of him. The tether. Over top of the pain that was radiating deep inside of him, telling Lance that he had been gone from Keith for too long, the tether perked to life. For a second or two it was no longer the static that he always felt; he felt a flash of Keith, a flash of determination, willingness to complete a task.

And that was when Lance knew; that was when Lance knew that Voltron was coming. He could feel Keith growing closer. Which meant he had to keep Lotor distracted. They must have heard about the ship being empty and come after the ceremony- either that, or they had just been late getting the broadcast. They were being smart about it, choosing to get Lance when only one person stood in his way. But that person was the most fierce person Lance had ever met; a cold feeling went down his spine at the thought of everybody coming to fight against him. Lance knew that was was going to happen wasn’t going to be pretty.

He made no public showing of how he felt on the inside, instead keeping a neutral expression as he pressed himself against Lotor, feeling the warmth of the older man seep through his layers of white clothes. A low grumble came from Lotor as he clutched Lance even harder, pulling him in even closer. Yes. This is what Lance needed- for Lotor to be too in his head about him to realize what was going on. Lotor needed to be surprised when Voltron came; that was their best chance. 

The moment that the two reached and entered the door, Lotor had it locked and closed shut, keeping them encased in the privacy in their room. It wasn’t as if it had mattered if they did anything in the hallways anyways- there was nobody there to see it, but apparently Lotor liked their room better. Lance didn’t know what he preferred, or if he preferred anything at all. Al his body could ask for was Keith, not Lotor. It was like it resisted being in Lotor’s grasp, as if it knew that what was happening wasn’t right. Well, of course it knew- it had the bond to think about. To feel. Lance could feel it.

“My warrior,” Lotor breathed, his hands gripping onto Lance’s hips- he could feel his thumb moving over the brand. Lance couldn't ever forget about it- no matter how hard he tried. “The ceremony is over; we’re mated in the eyes of the Galrans.” His breath was warm against Lance’s skin. “We have 48 hours to do whatever we want to eachother.”  Lance nodded.

The feeling was getting stronger. He could tell that Keith had now entered the ship, and it made him feel alive, made his heart start beating faster, made his skin tingle. Lotor took it as a sign of Lance’s excitement for him, another low grumble forming in his throat.

Lance found himself being pushed onto the bed, the silk sheets rubbing against his clothes, making him feel a little itchy and uncomfortable. Firm hands pressed him down onto the bed, and hot lips pressed against his own- Lance tried his best not to gag against the sensation. His body didn’t like this. It rejected this, and so did his mind. To think… to think that he was once so confused about who he wanted to stay with- once felt such an urge to go back to Lotor…. It was scary. But it made Lance think about how the bond had made him feel. Was his bond with Keith doing the same thing? Was he not thinking right? 

No. Keith didn’t hurt or torture him like Lotor had. Keith had never  _ branded _ him, or left countless scars on his back. Keith wasn’t like Lotor. 

Lance felt his clothes being tugged off, leaving his skin forming goosebumps against the cold air touching it. He could feel Keith growing closer. He could feel Keith’s emotions. He could feel his own emotions. Lance knew that they would burst in- he could feel Keith right outside his door. So he pressed harder against Lotor, wrapping his hands around the man’s neck, pulling him in deeper, distracting him, taking the man out of reality.

And then the door slid open, and there was a frenzy of feet, the jerk of Lotor pulling away from him, the noise of knuckles crunching against bone as Keith surged forward.

 

* * *

There was a frenzy. Keith punched the shit out of Lotor- his fists hitting target after target, taking on the man while he was still shocked. Blood rushed to his brain- he couldn’t see straight, only feel his knuckles hitting flesh. All of a sudden he was shoved backwards, and Keith felt his head knock against something hard- his helmet had been taken off somewhere in the process.

Keith was taken off guard. He groaned, moving his limbs to pick himself up- he could hear fighting and shouts happening all around him. He opened his eyes to see the rest of his team going after Lotor; the man was seething, his hair wild, falling out of the delicate braid it had been put in. His eyes… his eyes looked crazy. The prince  _ was  _ crazy. Then Keith looked to his side- he saw Lance, desperately scrambling to put on his clothes. There was a flash of his brand, and Keith looked away, pushing himself up.

“Keith, watch out!” The boy looked forward and ducked at the last second- a knife had been thrown at him. It stuck in the wall just where his head had been a second ago.

Lotor was standing there, blocking and dodging the Paladin’s attacks- his eyes met Keith’s and he snarled. Somehow, he had gotten ahold of his weapons- they had been sitting on the dresser next to the bed. A sword and knives. One of them had been thrown at Keith.

Pidge had been knocked back- a foot connecting his her stomach as he tried to make an advance on the frenzied man. Her small form flew back, crashing against the corner of the wall; she lied still, unmoving. “Pidge!” Keith yelled- he move to rush towards her and Hunk and Shiro continued to fight, but Lance beat him to it. “Go. Hurry- finish Lotor off, while I look at her; we need to get out of here.” Lance sounded strained and Keith knew why.

Keith turned to go and help Shiro and Hunk; they were holding their own, but it was apparent to everybody that this man was as good at fighting as he was at piloting- even more so when he was put into such an animalistic state. His bayard activated, and Keith leaped forward, slashing at Lotor.

The man blocked one blow with his sword, but the other grazed his side; Keith could see purple blood oozing through the clothes he wore.

“A Galran never lets his mate get taken!” The prince snarled, pushing back against Shiro. He was quickly getting cornered by the three. “Never! We never get up!” His teeth glinted, voice hoarse.

“You’re forgetting that I’m half Galran, Lotor,” Keith spat, surging forward, only to get knocked back, “Lance is bonded to me!” 

The prince’s eyes darkened, “You took him from me! I had him first! He’s mine!” He was beginning to sound like a toddler fighting over a toy.    
  
“You took him from us first, Lotor.” Keith snarled, blocking a hit. Shiro and Hunk had began to be pushed off- pushed away by both Lotor and Keith. This was their fight, and they seemed to realize that. 

“ _ Voltron  _ didn’t fight hard enough to keep him- he was left on one of my ships to die like a measly low-life sentry!” Lotor countered; he was gaining on Keith, but the boy wouldn’t give him, pushing against the force impeding on him. 

“... You might not be wrong about that, but he means so much more to us now. You tortured him, hurt him,  _ you scared him _ . I’m his true bonded. I did it to save his life; not take it away from him.”

Lotor spat, pushing against Keith even harder- he was overtaken by the strength put against him. Fire burned in the Prince’s eyes. “You question my love? I was the one who made him feel loved; I was the one who gave him worth.  Die!”

Keith didn’t see it coming, and even if he had, there was no time nor strength for him to do anything about it. The prince shot forward and something impaled through his armor, going keep into his stomach. Keith coughed. Once. Twice. Before falling to the ground.

“Keith!” Shiro yelled- he had already been stepping forward once he saw the change in Lotor’s eyes, but he had been too late. His hand glowed, about to fight, but Lotor stopped him.

“You step any closer to me and I will impale your little Red Paladin through his heart; you will loose your teammate forever.  _ However.”  _ His eyes switched over to Lance, who was clutching onto Pidge -still unconscious- with tears streaming down his cheeks. “If you give me Lance. If you give me him, and promise to never try to take him back again- let me switch his bond back over to me once and for all, I’ll spare him. I’ll even leave the Galran force; I won’t battle with you or your team ever again. Just give me him.”

Shiro’s eyes slid over to Lance, looking over him. Hunk shook where he was standing. He looked back to Lotor. “N-”

“Yes.” It was Lance. He stood up. “Yes. It’s a deal. You have me, Lotor.”

Keith let out a strangled moan- “No.. you can’t…” He gasped. “Kill me. Keep Lance… f-f-ind a way to get rid of this bond thing once and for all…” 

Lance sobbed. He shook his head, and walked past Shiro and Hunk. They stayed silent as the boy went into Lotor’s arms. “Spare him,” Lance begged, wrapping his own arms around the Prince’s torso. “Take me. I’m made for you, and you only Lotor.”

“No!” Keith gasped. It was getting harder and harder to breath; his vision was getting spotty.

There was a sudden flash of movement that Keith barely caught. He head the sound of a knife entering flesh, and along, drawn out scream that pierced his ears. Then he heard a thud as something hit the ground, and a flurry of feet.

For a moment his heart stopped- he thought it was Lance who had been stabbed.

But… He could still feel him. Feel the boy, feel his adrenaline, his worry…. Lance’s face appeared in front of Keith’s, looking down at him. There was a bit of purple blood splattered across his nose. “Keith!” The boy sobbed, warm hands wrapping around him. “Keith, Keith Keith…”

The raven haired boy chuckled before everything went black.

“Let’s get him out of here, quick! He’s losing too much blood!” 

“Keith, stay with me, you have too.”    


“Someone grab Pidge.” 

“Keith, Keith- can you hear me? You have to stay alive. You have too- I still need to make you your favourite breakfast, okay buddy?”

“Keith…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!! It wasn't exactly a bitch slap... but more of a bitch punch for you guys! Keith wasn't having any of that. Nope. None. 
> 
> Keith is hurt. Oh god i could hardly believe I was writing that- but Lance is okay! He's fine! He's free from Lotor! (hopefully) He was the one who stabbed lotor- I think he realized his feelings towards that man and realized how abusive/awful he really was to him- the brand really played a part in that (or at least, I tried to make it so lol) 
> 
> I don't know what's going to happen to Keith right now. We'll just have to wait for the next chapter! 
> 
> I feel like this fic is nearing the end of it's run- it's beginning to feel right to me- what would you guys think if it ended within the next 2 or 3 chapters? How do you guys feel? I might made a "after they get back to earth" type of thing afterwards to tie things up- even if Keith lives or dies, just to give it a concluded feeling to everything, and then I'll start my next fic!!!!! 
> 
> Would you guys be up to that? How do you feeeeeellll b/c I don't know and I love all of you guys. You guys seriously make my day every day when I read through the comments; I literally never thought this would get so popular, like it's just crazy to me, and to hear that you guys actually like my writing style (when I'm being serious of course lol) is amazing to hear. I honestly feel like I've gotten more proficient at writing, and less likely to get writers block which is why I started this, and a lot has to be because of you guys, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!! I love all of you guys so much and I hope you like this chapter!!!! At least a few more to come so don't be alarmed (:


	18. Those Quiet Nights

Warm, sticky blood clung to Lance’s white shirt, staining it a deep crimson. His heart beat in his chest, his breaths came out panicked, as he held Keith in his arms, using his hands to put pressure on the wound so that he wouldn’t bleed out. Tears formed in Lance’s eyes, burning, threatening to spill has he tried desperately to hold himself together. Lance couldn’t break. Not even after everything that happened. Not now.

Shiro piloted his Lion, sitting in front of Lance and Keith, in his chair. His knuckles were white against the controls, as he tried to fly the Lion as smoothly as possible. You could see the beading of sweat on the older man’s forehead as he flew, stony silent, eyes focused forward.  You could only hear Lance’s soothing words, fake yet trying, and Keith’s breathy groans.

It seemed as though time was going as slowly as possible for Lance. He knew that Shiro was going as quickly as he could, but it didn’t feel fast enough. Nothing did; it tortured Lance as he looked down at Keith’s paling face, hair damp with sweat. His skin almost looked translucent, blueness hinting at it. Even Keith’s lips lost their red hue.

The castle grew closer and closer, until finally they were there; the hangar opened and Lance could feel his heart quicken. He looked down at Keith. 

“We’re almost there, buddy. We’re almost there.” His comforts for more for himself, than anything; Keith kept drifting in and out of consciousness, and was probably unable to process Lance’s words. But there was always the bond. Lance could feel Keith’s emotions- they were hazy, as if a film was placed over them, and there was a weird sensation surrounding the two. A sense of foreboding hollowness; something missing. It wasn’t there fully, but Lance was afraid of what that meant. Afraid of what that emptiness would mean.

The Black Lion’s doors opened, and Shiro turned around to look at them. His face paled, looking at Lance, the front of his shirt soaked with Keith’s blood, Keith looking so small in Lance’s arms. So pale. He swallowed hard, “Hurry, let’s go.” 

Coran, and the team were on Keith the minute Lance and Shiro took him out of the Lion, Coran giving orders, Lance begrudgingly giving Keith to Shiro to carry to the pods. Lance knew he wasn’t strong enough to do it himself, but something about letting Keith out of his arms, letting him go, made him snap on the inside. Tears freely formed down his cheeks as he began to sob, following straight behind his leader as they ran to the medical wing, the team swiftly behind them. 

Coran was calm throughout the procedure. Just like he had been with Lance. Just like he had been with the bonding process. It was his job; he was the one who gave medical aid to the Paladins, he had been trained in the art of staying calm. That didn’t mean we wasn’t worried, however- he needed Keith to stay alive. He was just as scared as everybody about Keith dying, but he had enough of a grip on his emotions not to show it.

Like always, the team was made to wait outside of the door while Coran peeled Keith’s clothes off, careful not to spur on more bleeding. He coaxed on the pod suit, fretting to himself as a few drops of blood seemed to seep through the fabric; but that was to be expected. The initial blood release, and then the suit would do it’s job and keep pressure on the wound while it’s patient was put into the pod, and then the healing process would start.

He called the rest of the team in, getting Shiro to help him place Keith’s body into the pod, securing him, before closing the lid. 

Lance stood off to the side, his cheeks wet, hair matted. His hands were stained red, just like the shirt he wore and there was a splash of something purple across his nose. Galran blood. Lotor’s blood. He watched as Keith was placed, the lid closing, the machine whirring as it went to work analyzing Keith's wounds. He wanted it to go faster. Work harder, but it continued to work at it’s steady pace, unrelenting to any feelings, emotions that were flooding the room.

Everybody stood there, watching, waiting. An hour, an hour and a half- Hunk let Lance cling onto him, leaving bloody handprints on his suit. But after a while, people started to file out- Keith was going to be okay, and things needed to get done; Allura and Shiro needed to plan, Coran needed to fix a part of the ship, and Hunk and Pidge needed to go back to work on the technology they were creating.

But Lance didn’t leave. He couldn’t.

He sat there, next to Keith's pod, watching him, looking at his blank, peaceful expression wondering how Keith would react when he woke up.  

 

* * *

Sometime in the past few days, Lance had changed out of his blood-soaked, now-dried clothes. He had thrown them down the shoot, unable to look at them, the clothes Lotor had given him, ripped and tattered. He had taken a quick shower, scrubbing out the dried blood from his nails, and hair. He washed his face, ridding any dirt from it that might clog his pores. The whole ordeal had lasted maybe 20 minutes, before he found himself glued back to Keith’s pod, sitting in front of it, staring. Thinking, wishing, waiting.

That was all he could do; the only thing his body would do. The bond. He could feel Keith; could feel that he was alive, which was a relief, but any feelings that he got were little. Only blankness; it didn’t even feel like eith was dreaming. He was just…. There, alive, but not awake. It made Lance’s heart quicken every time he thought about it, every time he thought about Keith never waking up again, there, but not there at the same time. It made Lance want to throw up; he was just so scared. 

* * *

Shiro was watching Lance, silently, from afar. He had some of Hunk’s space goo in a bowl in his hands, instructed to give to Lance, to make sure the boy was eating. He had never seen the boy look so… intense, but lost at the same time. He had never seen Lance like this before. Not even after they had rescued him from Lotor that first time, seen him so… broken, and confused. No, this was different. Something about Lance had changed. Something deep inside him twinged.

He stepped inside, clearing his throat to announce his presence. Lance looked over to him, bags under his eyes, his skin looking duller than before. Shiro bit his lip; Lance had been like this for days, while he watched Keith in his pod. He wondered how much more of this the small cuban boy could put up with.

Walking towards him, Shiro held out the bowl and the spoon. “Hey,” his voice was soft, “I brought you some food… I figured you could use some company.”

Lance looked at him blankly for a second, before accepting the bowl, scooting over to allow enough room for Shiro to sit next to him. Shiro sat, leaving a comfortable amount of distance between the two. This wasn’t going to be like last time; as much as it made Shiro’s heart twinge. Him and Lance were never going to be a thing; Shiro was the leader, and Lance a Paladin, bonded with Keith. In love with Keith.

Lance ate slowly, quietly. He seemed grateful for the food, which made Shiro glad. He was glad that he was eating. When he was finished, he gently placed the bowl on the floor, scooting up his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. 

“How are you holding up?” Shiro asked quietly, looking up at Keith’s pod, with him. Everything that had happened with Keith hurt Shiro too; after all, they were as close as brothers.

“I just want him to wake up.” Lance admitted, sighing deeply. “I want him to wake up, and I want to  _ touch  _ him, because my skin feels like it’s going to peel itself off without him.”

Shiro’s heart ached at that. He cursed himself for being so weak, after everything that had happened. Him liking Lance wasn’t supposed to happen- his words to Keith about not having a crush on the boy, after being caught kissing him were supposed to be true. But, Shiro had soon found out that they weren’t true, and he had gone through the struggle alone. It was his own fault, and it was something that he’d get over with time. He just needed time; Lance, or anybody really, would never know of it.

“I used to hate Keith. I used to have this stupid rivalry with him; I even thought I hated him after you guys switched over the bond, but now I think I’m going crazy without him. Being with Lotor again sucked. I was so scared, and then I had to let him touch me again because I knew you guys were coming, and he needed to be distracted. I feel all gross.” Lance’s voice broke.

“He’ll wake up, Lance,” Shiro comforted, “and then I bet he’ll want to touch you as much as you want to touch him.”   He swallowed down his feelings. Suddenly, a thought came to his mind. “Y’know, what’s funny? I think Keith’s liked you for a long, long time, Lance.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think, even before we went out into space, when you two were still in the garrison. I just… I don’t think he realized it until he caught us two kissing, that one time.” 

There was a visible blush on Lance’s cheeks. He groaned, stifling a laugh, “don’t- don’t even remind me of that… god, I was so scared you were going to hate me, or something.” 

“I could never hate you, Lance.” Shiro’s voice grew soft, as he looked towards the ground. He swallowed thickly.

“Thanks, Shiro… wait. Keith saw us?!” There was an edge to Lance’s voice, reminding Shiro of how he had been before everything. Happy.

“Yup… Cornered me that same night and started to interrogate me like no tomorrow- I swear I thought he was going to punch me. Then I called him out, on liking you, and you should have seen his face, it was like he had just run into a brick wall. He denied it, but I knew then.” Shiro just hadn't expected anything after that. The bonding, the capturing, everything.  It had shocked everyone.

“Wow… Huh.” There was a smile, on Lance’s face. Shiro smiled back.

“Well, it’s getting late; I should probably go to bed. Are you good staying here by yourself? I can stay, if you want. I'd just have to grab a pillow and a blanket.” 

Lance shook his head. “No, thanks, Shiro. I’ll be fine. The floor’s kinda uncomfortable, anyways; you go ahead.”  

Shiro nodded, grabbing Lance’s empty bowl. “Alright, then. Goodnight, Lance.” 

“Night, Shiro.”  

He cast Lance one last lingering look, capturing in the sight of the boy staring up at Keith’s pod, illuminating his face in a blue-ish glow. He sighed. 

Shiro was happy for them. 

 

* * *

Something opened in front of Keith, waking him up from whatever long sleep he had just gone through. A draft of air hit his skin, making him shiver. His eyes opened, and he found himself falling forward, his feet catching himself at the last minute.

Keith’s legs felt weak. He felt weak, and there was an itch in his skin- he needed to touch something… someone. Oh.

His memories came back to him. Lance was closeby, very near, he could feel it. Looking around blindly, Keith’s foot nudged something. Soft, a little squishy. He looked down, and gasped slightly when he saw Lance there, at his feet, sleeping, his expressing troubled and Keith’s foot pressed into his stomach.

There was a flutter in Keith’s heart. He bit his lip, and shakily kneeled down, his hand gently going forward to rest on Lance’s shoulder. He felt the tingle- it went up through his fingers, all the way down through his spine. Keith shivered, breathing shallowly.

“Lance.” His voice was rather hoarse. He cleared it, swallowing some of his spit. “Lance.” It was louder this time.

The boy under him squirmed a bit, groaning, before his eyes shot open, brilliantly blue, dark bags under them. Keith wondered how much sleep he had been getting. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, for a moment before Lance practically flung himself forward, latching onto Keith, his arms wrapping around his neck.

“Oh my god, Keith, I-I-” Lance sniffled, tears threatening to fall. He seemed to give up on holding himself back, and a sob escaped him. “I thought you weren’t going to wake up!”

Keith frowned, wrapping his arms more tightly around Lance. He didn’t want to let go. Ever. “How long was I in the pod for?”

“L-Like a week! Everybody was -is- so worried about you!” Keith felt Lance’s hands grip tighter around him, tears falling onto his own skin, hot. 

“I’m sorry…” 

Lance pulled away, moving his hands up to grip Keith’s face, his eyes desperately scanning it. “You almost died! I- I was holding you, you were bleeding so much! You were going to sacrifice yourself for me! Lotor was going to kill you! How could you do that!”

Keith swallowed hard. He knew the reason. “Because you deserve to live more than me. You’ve been through so much, Lance. I couldn’t let you stay with Lotor. Ever.”

Things grew silent as more tears fell from Lance’s eyes, rolling down his cheeks. “I deserve to live more than you? Keith, I can’t live without you! Literally! We’re bonded!”

“Well, I thought the team could find out a way to get rid of it…” Keith bit the inside of his cheek. He hadn’t really been thinking properly. All he knew at that time was that he wanted Lance to live. He didn’t care what he had to do. “I’m sorry, Lance. I’m so, so sorry.”  He crumbled. Tears slipped out of his own eyes, emotions welling up deep inside of him.

Lance surged forward again, gripping onto Keith like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Keith held on too, his hands digging into Lance’s shoulder blades, body heaving as he couldn’t hold back the emotions going through him. He was so scared Lance would be left there. So scared Lotor would win again, and that Lance would be stuck with him. So scared for those couple of seconds when he thought Lance had been stabbed, when it was, in fact Lotor….

“Did you kill Lotor?” Keith’s voice was incredibly quiet; he didn’t want to push it too far.

Lance drew back, sniffing; his eyes were tinged red as he wiped the snot from his nose with the back of his hand. “I-I don’t know…. I… I stabbed him with his knife once…. No, twice I think. And then he fell to the ground. I didn’t get to check if he was still breathing or not when we left, I was too distracted by you.” 

Keith bit the inside of his lip. He hoped Lotor was dead. “What about Pidge, she was hurt, right? Is she okay?” 

Lance nodded feverently. “She’s fine- she had just been knocked unconscious. She didn’t even need the pod, just a lot of sleep to work her concussion off. Coran had wanted to put her in, to spare her the pain and stuff, but she refused because she didn’t want to divert any power from your pod.”  

A pang of guilt went through Keith, as he looked at the ground, gnawing at his cheek. Lance seemed to catch onto this pretty quickly; he had forgotten about the bond, and how it showed each other their feelings.

“It’s not your fault, Keith. It was completely Pidge’s decision- nobody thought that you were taking away from her getting healed. She’s perfectly fine now; she made fun of Hunk just the other day, so you know she’s back to normal.”

Keith could feel himself breathe a sigh of relieve, though the guilt was not completely gone. He was partly the reason why she had gotten hurt in the first place; he had just surged up on Lotor, initiating a fight. Things weren’t supposed to go down the way that they did.

But Lance was there. Lance was okay- at least, Keith couldn’t see any wounds, or anything on him. He hoped that nothing too horrific had happened to him during his brief stay with Lotor. But it didn’t seem as though, which soothed him a little.

Looking at Lance, he could see how glad the other was, to see that he was awake. Alive. Lance was feeling just the same as Keith. Their eyes locked, and Keith leaned forward, pressing his lips against Lance’s, soft, smooth.

They broke apart, Lance smiling at him through his wet eyes and cheeks. “Let’s let the others know that you’re up and alive, yeah?”

 

* * *

Shiro had been the first to see him, after Lance. He had caught them on their way to the command room, going to get Allura to alert everyone else. There was a crinkle next to his eyes as he smiled, and pulled Keith into a warm hug. Keith cherished it, hugging Shiro back. It reminded him of his days back on earth, every time Keith went over to Shiro’s house when his foster parents got drunk, and scared him. Warm hugs. They were calming.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Keith.” Shiro murmured, holding him by the shoulders. “Lance was so worried. We were all so worried,” his expression grew stern, “don’t ever think of giving yourself up again, you hear? That’s not how an acceptable paladin - “

“I know, I know Shiro, Lance wrung me through the wringer already- I got it.” He rolled his eyes, but there was a bit of laughter in them.

“Good to know someone’s got a hold on you.” There was laughter in Shiro’s voice, as he pulled Keith in for another hug, which Keith gratefully accepted.

“Come on, guys! We need to let the others know!” Lance’s voice was whiny, as he impatiently waited for them. He wanted to hold Keith’s hand again.

Keith and Shiro laughed, breaking apart.

 

* * *

Everyone had been overjoyed to see Keith. To know that he was okay, and doing well outside of the pod. Hunk had declared a party, and had baked a cake; everybody had sat around the kitchen and chatted while it baked. Despite the cake looking more like jello than cake, Keith had enjoyed it with everyone else, smiling, holding Lance’s hand under the table, enjoying the tingling sensation he got when doing so.

Finally, sleep started pulling at Keith's eyes- he was tired, exhausted from everything that had happened. Lance seemed to sense this, casting him a look through the corner of his eye. He cleared his throat, looking around at everybody.

“Well guys, Keith and I are beat. We’re going to hit the sack, Hunk, buddy, thank you for the cake. It was really good.” There was a chipper tone in Lance’s voice.

Keith was shocked to hear Lance sounding so much like his old self- voice more upbeat than it had been for a very long time, despite the bags under his eyes, and the dullness of his otherwise healthy skin. He wondered if Lance was putting on an act, of some sort. He hoped not.

The raven-haired boy let himself be dragged away, pulled back into Lance’s room, where they kissed, his own eyes becoming teary again. He missed this. He loved kissing Lance. They fell onto the bed, a tangle of arms and legs, where Lance started to run his hands through Keith’s hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. It felt good; Keith relaxed, sighing deeply. So much had happened, but yet he felt so good.

Then Lance started to talk- talk and talk and talk, and Keith was happy to listen. Happy to hear Lance’s voice, because he didn’t know what would happen the next day, because they were in a war and he loved Lance.

The Cuban boy talked about his family. How big they were, all his siblings names and little quirks; Keith couldn’t remember if Lance had told him this already, but he didn’t care. He liked to listen. To know everything about Lance.

“When we get back to earth, I’m sure my family will love you. My siblings will be overjoyed.” The words brushed past Keith’s ear, tickling his cheek. He felt himself stiffen, a little.

When they got back to earth…. Would Lance and him still be bonded? Would Lance still like him- want to be with him? Or would he want to cast Keith away the moment they stepped foot on earth because of all the things that had happened? That Keith had made happen? He swallowed hard. That would probably be it- they’d probably find a way to get rid of the bond, and he and Lance would be separated. He wouldn’t blame Lance, because he had every right to do so. Just like he had every right to hate him. Keith would be okay with it, he’d be okay with the rejection. He’d go back to living alone again, back at that shack, away from everybody else, where Shiro would only check up on him every couple of months.

A bit of panic went through Keith, and he quickly looked up to see if Lance had caught on, or not.

He had fallen asleep, hands still tangled in Keith’s hair. He was relieved the boy didn’t know that was going on, couldn’t feel Keith’s feelings in his slumber; the bit of privacy was comforting for the time being.

Keith didn’t want that. He wanted,  _ needed _ to be with Lance; he couldn’t bare the thought of seeing him look at him with distance, casting him away like some rejected toy, even though Keith knew he deserved it. He didn’t want to be outcast by Hunk, Pidge, because they were Lance’s friends and they would side with him, like they rightfully should. He didn’t want to only see Shiro every couple months, with that time dwindling as the man went on with his life and slowly forgot him. He didn’t want to hear about how Lance’s family hated him, and how everybody would talk about how forced Lance into it, rejected by the world.

Keith didn’t want to be alone anymore.

The thought of being away from Lance, not being bonded with him anymore made his stomach churn, his chest grow tight as the clutched onto the sleeping boy even harder, as tears pricked his eyes.

But that was what was going to happen. Keith knew it. He could feel it.

It kept him up that night.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW COULD YOU GUYS THINK I COULD KILL KEITH I CAN'T DO IT I'M NOT STRONG! 
> 
> So keith's fine. He's good. Please don't send goblins to my house to blackmail me (i love you guys) 
> 
> Also. I wanted to talk about Shiro and his feelings towards lance- obviously it's one-sided, and lance, nor anybody knows about them. It's probably going to stay that way, Shiro understands that his feelings will never get anywhere with Lance, and that it's pointless to even try. It's a feeling I really resonate with. He's accepted it, in a melancholy sort of way and I really liked the feeling that I got while writing that part of the chapter, so I'm happy with it. 
> 
> Keith's insecure, now too. He's not used to being loved by anyone (other than shiro ofc) and so it's kind of messing with him in a way. He's scared of being rejected, and it's getting to him. Poor keithy. 
> 
> Idk but i feel like there's a weird feeling with this chapter and I can't really put a name to it.. I was kind of sad while writing it?? Idk I feel like there's an emptiness to it in a way, but I'm not sure.... I don't know! You guys tell me! 
> 
> Let me know if you liked it!!! More chapters to come (;


	19. Worry

Lance and Keith were inseparable. That’s what the team said, jokingly at dinner, eyes rolling, endearing huffs of annoyance every time Lance grabbed Keith’s hand over top of the plates and food at the dinner table. They accepted it. Lance accepted it. Keith wanted to accept it.

He tried. He loved being with Lance, spending his time with the boy, feeling the soft touches of their elbows bumping against each other, or even the harder hits Lance gave him when they trained, sparring against each other.  Keith liked the physical contact between them; his body buzzed at the feeling, and sometimes it sent shivers down his spine. It had been a long time since Keith had been touched so much- he had been all on his own back in the desert, at his shack, and him and Shiro were never the… touchy feely type. Brotherly bro-fists and hard slaps on the back. Never like how Lance touched him. Ran his fingers through his hair, (while muttering mullet- Keith was sure one day he’d wake up with his hair trimmed thanks to Lance) applying face masks to his skin, waking up next to him with their legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other.  Lance’s touches.

Keith loved them so much. He didn’t want them to go.

Which brought on the fear. The bubbling deep in his stomach, routed within his very core. When would those touches stop? When would Lance look at him with disdain, angry glances from the rest of the team around him? When would Keith be alone again?

_Whoof!_

Something hit him hard, in his stomach, causing Keith to take a couple steps back, torn out of his thoughts. Oh right. He was training with Lance.

_Lance._

His eyes focused forward, watching as a flash of brown skin and hair surged towards him again, and he easily sidestepped the attack, biting his lip. Had Lance felt his emotions? He had tried to keep them at bay; keep them under control so that his bonded wouldn’t feel his worries. Keith didn’t want any questions to be asked, didn’t want Lance prying in on him, because he would obviously ask him what what was wrong, and how could Keith just tell him, “yeah, hey, I’m afraid you and the rest of the team will abandon me once we finish Zarkon off and I don’t actually want to break the bond that we have because I might actually love you, sorry!” It would hurt Lance’s feelings. They’d deny it, but then it would only hurt more when it became true.

Another limb hit him; Keith had grown distracted again, the familiar churn in his stomach starting up once more.

“Keithhhhh,” Lance stopped. He was panting, a sweat glistening across his unblemished skin. “Stop going easy on me! I’m not going to train well, that way!” There was a small pout working it’s way across Lance’s lips.

Keith stopped biting his lip, swiping his tongue over it, feeling the sharp pain blossoming over where he had worn the skin bare. He breathed in. “Sorry, Lance. You’re just better than me. Guess I’ve succumbed to your ways.” He pushed down the feelings he felt before, trying to hide them from the boy standing in front of him.

Lance’s pout turned into a frown- obviously, he had seen through Keith’s lame attempt at a joke. “What’s wrong? You seemed distracted while we were fighting… I felt some of your emotions again. You seemed really worried.” It was Lance’s turn to bite his lip- Keith knew he felt guilty for bringing up the emotions that he felt from Keith.

“Uh….”

“Wait no! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mention anything..”

They had talked about it earlier, and had agreed not to bring it up to give each other a bit of privacy. Keith understood why Lance mentioned it; if it was the other way around, he probably would have done the same. Both of them weren’t very good at keeping their agreements, apparently.

Keith swallowed. “No, uh, I understand. I’m just…” He searched for an excuse. “I’m worried about Zarkon, I guess.” There. “And about Lotor- if he’s actually still alive, and whatnot.” Well, the answers weren’t _wrong,_ they just hadn’t been the things he was worried about at that time. He felt guilty- weren’t those the things that were supposed to be affecting him the most?

Lance seemed to accept his answer. He nodded slowly. “Don’t worry. I won’t get captured again; I don’t think Lotor will have it in him to do it, anyways. And… we’re a team. Zarkon is fucking terrifying, yeah, but… We’ll all be working together against him, Keith.” He stepped forward, putting a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “You won’t be alone.”

A bit of bile rose into Keith’s throat at Lance’s words, he hastily shoved his emotions down, nodding slowly. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. I’m being stupid.” 

Lance shook his head. “No you’re not- it’s normal to be scared. I get it. Why don’t we ditch training and just go to bed? It’ll feel nice getting a decent amount of sleep in the morning.”  

Keith nodded. He followed Lance back to their room. They had met Hunk on the way, Lance giving him a hug, before saying goodnight. Keith could see the tears forming in Hunk’s eyes- it was nice to see Lance not suffering for once; he actually looked happy. Keith started to worry at his lip again, nervous.

They got into bed- each doing their respective night routines, though Lance took significantly more time than Keith. But once they were settled, under the sheets, both laid still. Warm, against each other. Lance fell asleep pretty quickly, his face pressed into Keith’s shoulder- he waited for a few more minutes, before he was sure the boy was fully out.

Then Keith could think.He felt his own emotions washing over him like a crashing wave, turmoil, drawing him. The same thoughts over, and over again. He didn’t want Lance to leave. He didn’t want Lance to hate him over the bond. He didn’t want to be outcast. Over and over, they devoured Keith’s mind, until he couldn’t handle it any longer.

Carefully peeling Lance off of him, Keith’s feet hit the floor. He silently put his jacket on, before leaving the room. The bond. He liked it- he liked feeling attached to Lance, even if it breached both of their privacy; it anchored him, made him know that Lance was always there. He knew if Lance was hurt, or upset; he knew he was okay, or if he was in danger. He felt loved because of it. But… Keith knew. He knew he had to get rid of it. What if Lance was only feeling this way towards him because of it? Keith knew it wasn’t the same for him, he had realized that a while ago. He had liked Lance for a long time before the bond. But… Lance had hated him. They had been rivals…. 

Keith would rather sever it now, when he was confused, unsure of things, than have it severed for him down the road and destroy him…. But was that even possible? He shook his head; he didn’t know.

But maybe talking to Coran would help.

 

* * *

 

Lance had awoken to a cold bed; Keith was gone. This initially caused a moment of panic for him- where had he gone? Was he okay? But after gathering himself, calming down his breathing, Lance had realized that he wasn’t in any danger, he was on the ship. But he did feel another thing: A fear, a worry so strong, so deeply set that it worried him. It was coming from Keith.

He had felt flashes of it before- while they were training, sometimes when they were eating or with the others. It had always concerned him- enough so that he had asked about it earlier that night when they were training and Keith had been distracted enough for him to get a few hits in, which, by the way, never happened.

Keith had told him that it was because of Zarkon and Lotor, and his fear for the two of them, which Lance understood. He was scared too, still working himself out…. But. Something told him that he wasn’t necessarily telling the truth. He didn’t know how he knew, only that it was a gut feeling, and his Mama had said to never ignore a gut feeling. Right now he wanted to go see Keith, and maybe talk it out. Lance wanted to be open and communicative; they were in an almost relationship now...what could you even call it? Keith hadn’t asked him out so they weren’t boyfriends, but to deny they had something between them was flat out stupid. They slept in the same bed, for god’s sakes! They could feel each other’s emotions- they had kissed! There was chemistry, Lance was sure about it.

He followed the bond down the halls; doing that made Lance almost feel like a dog sniffing out someone’s scent, but, whatever. If it helped him find Keith faster, what was the big deal? He wondered what was actually bothering him- could he help, in any way? Lance hoped he could. They were a team; any sort of support towards Keith, and his friends would benefit everyone, including Lance. Over the past few weeks, he was starting to feel normal again, like his life wasn’t miserable in every way. He started to laugh again; things were looking brighter.

It was probably because of Keith. They had grown closer, more so like… Lovers, than friends. A blush formed across Lance’s cheeks. He really liked Keith. A lot. Actually… he was pretty sure he liked Keith before they had bonded. Maybe a lingering crush from the garrison that carried on inside of him? That would explain their rivalry. How hard it had hurt when Keith had said those things to him, all those months back. He liked Keith. Maybe… maybe even loved him.

Did Keith feel the same? Well, he had been the one to kiss him, and Shiro had said so… so maybe, yeah. Probably. Most definitely

Lance felt himself growing closer; he could feel the bond getting stronger, signalling to him that he was getting close. He was surprised to see that Keith hadn’t gone to the training room, but instead… down a different hallway, one that Lance didn’t recognize. He wasn’t quite sure where he was going, save for the bond.

The bond. It was such a weird thing. But.. Lance didn’t quite mind it. He… he had gotten used to it; in a way, it was something that kept him sane. Happy, in a sense? Keith was there, with him, and he could rely on it…. He wasn’t even hoping to get rid of it; staying with Keith didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world to ever happen. Lance wasn’t sure how he’d explain it to his family once he got home (he hadn’t exactly told them he was Bi yet) but he was sure they’d understand. His Mama would love him regardless.

Oh, Lance was there. He was standing outside of a door- he wasn’t sure who’s door it was, but he could hear Keith’s voice from inside of it.

“Coran,” oh, it was Coran’s room. Lance shrugged, stepping forward to signal to the doors to open. “Is there any way to get rid of the bond?” Lance froze. He could feel his blood run cold.

“My boy… why? Why would you want that?” 

“I…” Lance turned around. No. He couldn’t hear that, couldn’t hear Keith’s reasoning behind it.

He could feel bile rising up into his throat.

Keith didn’t love him. He didn’t want to be with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one, I'm sorry! I got really busy this weekend- but don't fear! I have a 5 day weekend coming up! More chapters will come out, I promise. Y'all will get a nice, hefty word-count. Idk why but I really like keeping the word count at multiples of 4, lol, so I'll get the next chapter to be 2000 words as well just to keep everything equal and then I'll come out with a couple more 4000 word chapters (; 
> 
> Both Keith and Lance are misinterpreting each other and I'm torturing myself. I WANT to write a cute epilogue where everything is okay and great but I have to waiitttt and get things sorted out between these two... I'm crying :') 
> 
> Please let me know if you have any suggestions or criticisms!!!


	20. Misunderstanding

Keith talked with Coran. The man seemed to have worked his way through Keith’s facade of casualness, drawing him in and comforting him. He was tactful in the way that he did it;  reassuring Keith that Lance was happy to be with him, and that everything was going to be okay, even if the events of the past were not. Coran understood that things weren’t perfect, but they had to make the most of it.

Keith left his room, feeling a little more calm with things- he still was unsure of his place with Lance, and the whole bond that went with it, but… he didn’t feel as panicked as he had before. Maybe he’d talk with Lance, figure things out with him; god knows how many times he had been out of the loop before. If there was a cure for the bond, they’d talk it over, be civil with each other, figure out the plan that would work best.

Lance wouldn’t hate him. At least, that was what Coran said. Keith believed it; most of him did, but there was a part of him that still had doubt. He wasn’t sure if it would ever leave.

Oh well, that was an issue he’d tackle for another day. Now all Keith wanted to do was get to Lance and sleep; he had felt something while talking to Coran, an emotion from Lance that led him to believe the boy was having a nightmare. Even though they technically had agreed not to dip into each other’s emotions, he knew Lance would be more comforted once he got there.

When Keith crashed onto the bed next to Lance, tucking his arm around the boy, he hoped that the little waves of fear and hurt coming from him would ease away.

He fell asleep before he could find out.

 

* * *

 

Something was wrong. Something was missing. Keith groaned, scrunching up his face, moving his limbs to seek out Lance. His fingers weren’t rewarded with the heat from Lance’s body- he only felt the cool sheets beside him. His eyes opened, and he sat up, yawning. 

Where was Lance?

The bond tugged, and Keith knew he wasn’t in the bathroom. He shrugged; maybe Lance liked getting up early every once in awhile. Still, he wanted to go see him. Despite all the insecurity that ran through Keith about his and Lance’s relationship, he still wanted to be around the boy. He still liked him, no, loved him. Wait. He didn’t know.  

Quickly, he washed his face, brushed his teeth and changed his clothes. Tugging at his shirt, Keith felt a little self conscious over the fact that they were all black, all the same kind, but he pushed it away to the back of his minds. The colour of his shirts weren’t anything he really wished to concern himself with.

Keith left their room, and walked down the hall; he had a suspicion where Lance might be. The doors to the training room came into view, and Keith gently pushed past them- the bond already told him that Lance was in there, but he was relieved to see him with his own two eyes.

Lance was training; his eyes were focused on a gladiator in front of him, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Keith saw him with his bayard- it had transformed into the gun/knife combination Keith had seen Lance fight with previously. We winced as he remembered Lance beating him- the sting of the lasers as they hit his skin, and the force of Lance pushing him to the ground creating a painful mental image. He had become a good fighter.

“Lance.” Keith called, feeling a little bit nervous. His chat with Coran last night still rung in his ears, insecurities still making their way up past his walls.

There wasn’t an answer from Lance.

“Lance,” Keith repeated, “hey, sorry to distract you, but, uh, can we talk? It’s kind of important.”

Lance was silent. He hadn’t even looked Keith’s way.

“Lance,” Keith raised his voice. “Lance, seriously-”

“Just go away Keith, I’m busy. I don’t want to talk to you.” Finally, Lance answered. Keith was taken back; Lance;s words had been so cold, voice so chilly. What was wrong? He swallowed hard.

“Please, Lance? It’s really important.”

Lance snapped, sending Keith a glare. “No! Fuck off, I’m busy!”

Keith bit his lip- his heart thumped in his chest. Giving a small nod, he turned on his heel and walked out. Why was Lance angry with him? Had he done something? His chest tightened, as realization dawned on him. Was Lance finally angry about the bond? Did he finally realize what Keith had done, and was now just trying to process it? Did he hate him now? A large lump formed in Keith’s throat. He  _ needed _ to talk with Lance.

But that seemed like a hard task in itself; Lance seemed to be taking every measure needed to avoid Keith.

Every time Keith spotted him, tried to walk over to him, Lance would pick up his pace, disappear. He refused to be in the same room as Keith. Every time Keith felt that bit of anger, hurt, betrayal from Lance, he fell a little more into despair. His fears were coming true. Lance hated him, and so would the team. So would Shiro. He’d be alone again.

By the end of the day, Keith felt done, he felt a little bit broken. His only hope would be that Lance would still be in their room sleeping- after all, both of them hadn’t really been around each other for most of that day, so Lance was bound to be exhausted because of the bond. Keith knew he was. Even at supper, Lance had quickly eaten and left, sitting on the opposite side of the table from Keith- everybody was concerned. Hunk had given them both weird looks, trying to discreetly bring it up, but Lance refused to talk and Keith couldn’t give him any answers.

When the door slid open for him when Keith reached their bedroom, Keith already knew Lance wasn’t there. The disappointment had already gone through his brain, but he wasn’t expecting what he saw. Wasn’t expecting all of Lance’s stuff to be missing. The knick knacks, his blanket, pillow. 

The bathroom; none of his skin care bottles were on the sink’s counter- there were no shampoo and conditioner bottles in the shower. Keith swallowed hard, the initial shock of everything settling deep down inside of him. Lance had moved out. He had left, and he hadn’t even said a word to Keith. Tears sprang up into Keith’s eyes, and he hastily tried to scrub them away. 

Lance hated him. And Keith knew he deserved it.

 

* * *

Lance struggled to keep his emotions down as he brought all of his stuff back to his old room- the one he hadn’t slept in for months. It was dusty, and somehow, it didn’t feel right. But Lance didn’t feel right- not when he could feel his own heart breaking, and Keith’s too. Waves of emotion and despair came from the raven-haired boy; he obviously hadn’t tried to push any of it away, like Lance had.

He didn’t know if he resented Keith for it.  A part of him wanted to. 

Keith wasn’t supposed to feel upset- he was the one who wanted this, didn’t he? He was the one who was asking Coran to break their bond in the middle of the night, without even consulting Lance about it. He was the one who didn’t even want to be with Lance.

Broken, branded, Lance, that was all he was, wasn’t he? The fucked up one, who had caused the team so much trouble. No wonder Keith wanted to get the fuck away from him.

But, he hated that Keith had tried so hard to talk to him. Hated that the team was concerned- that Hunk had tried to ask them what was going on during supper. Lance didn’t want to talk about it. After, all things were pretty clear, weren’t they?

Tears sprung up in Lance’s eyes. He could feel his hands shake as he dumped his clothes onto his bed- it was neatly made, just like he had left it when he first moved in with Keith those months ago. His body felt tired, and he knew it was because of the bond. They hadn’t been in contact with each other since early that morning; Lance had woken up with Keith’s arms wrapped around him, trying to pretend like it wouldn’t be the last time they were ever together like that.

He sniffed.

The team had obviously known about what was going on- Lance knew his actions were pretty clear, especially when they had been so inseparable just a day before. Even Pidge had asked him what was going on when he was helping her and Hunk out with some tech stuff- he remembered how round her eyes were from behind her glasses, how concerned she looked. He remembered snapping, and getting up and leaving because explaining things would hurt him too much. Remembered their confused and hurt faces.

His cheeks were wet. Lance hadn’t even realized he was crying; hadn’t even realized he had collapsed on the floor, legs shaking, arms weak. How could this happen? Why couldn’t he have just gotten a break- why couldn’t someone just love him? He thought Keith did. He thought Keith was okay with how things were, but obviously he was wrong. About everything.

Fuck, why had Lotor been the only one to ever love him? Was that what Lance deserved- someone like Lotor? Was he just supposed to be some sort of trophy wife, for a prince? Well, maybe. Sitting around looking pretty was probably one of the only things Lance could do right.

He sat there, for a long time crying. He thought about all the things that he had fucked up in his life, wondering if it was worth it if he was even there, on the castle- what if he wasn’t really supposed to be a paladin?

There was a rumble in the back of his mind. Blue.

Lance looked up at nothing. He knew Blue was in her hangar. 

“What do you want, Blue? You’re not going to be able to comfort me, this time. Even you know I’m fucked.”    
  
Another rumble. She was summoning him. 

“Blue, nothing’s going to help, I’m on my own for this one-”

A roar.  It shocked Lance- he had never heard her being so forceful before. Shocked, he shakily got up to his feet, sniffling, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “Okay, Okay, I’m coming.”

He avoided everyone else- particularly Keith’s room, though he could tell he wasn’t in there, anymore. He bit his lip, trying to shut Keith out the best he could, while following Blue’s orders to go down to the Hangar to see her. Honestly, Lance didn’t think anything would help, but Blue had been insistent and he didn’t have the heart to disobey her.

The halls were quiet, the hum of the castle soothing Lance as he made his way to the hangar. But as he grew closer and closer to it, a sense of dread took over him: Keith was there. He could tell. 

Lance wanted to turn around, as he reached the doors. He needed to. Had to. But Blue insisted- she urged him on, and he couldn’t bring himself to say no. Taking in a deep breath, he walked through the doors, coming face to face with a teary- eyed, red-lipped Keith. 

Lance was taken back. Keith’s eyes were puffy and his nose was red- obviously he had been crying. Just like Lance had been.

The door closed behind them, and Lance desperately wanted to turn around to run away, but he couldn’t. His legs wouldn’t let him.

“Lance.” Keith said something first. His voice cracked. He sounded broken. His hand lifted up, presumably to touch Lance, but he drew it away.

Words bubbled up in Lance’s throat, so many, too many, but he settled on just one.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Lance looked down- tears threatened to spill out of his eyes again. He didn’t want to do this.

“Why.. why did you ask Coran to break the bond? Without me? I- I-” Oh, no, this was it. Lance could feel himself breaking. Tears dripped from his eyes, onto the floor.  “I thought you were happy with me. I thought everything was okay- I thought  _ we   _ were okay, but obviously I was wrong.”

Keith stared at him.

“I thought that was what you wanted.”

* * *

 

Oh no. Oh no. Emotion bubbled up inside of Keith, as his heart raced inside of his chest. What was going on? He was explaining himself. Lance had heard him talking to Coran. He felt himself choking on his own spit

“I thought that was what you wanted.”

“What I wanted? To break the bond with you? Why would I want that- for all we know it could kill us!” Lance’s voice cracked- it made Keith’s heart clench.

“B-because… why would you want to be bonded to me? It was something you were forced in… I- I thought you were going to hate me because of it, and then I was right, wasn’t I? You hate me now.”

Something seemed to dawn across Lance- his eyes softened, but his mouth turned into a small frown. Keith swallowed hard, continuing to explain himself.

“I.. you were going to hate me, weren’t you? Once you realized what had happened- I didn’t want you to be trapped like that…. I.” Keith squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t- I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want to be alone again, so… so if the bond is cut off early, it won’t hurt as much. For both of us.” Mainly for him.

“Keith, why the fuck would I hate you for that?” Lance spit out. He stepped closer to Keith, invading his personal space. He remembered a time where this once would have sent him pushing Lance away, too afraid of any intimacy that came his way.  

“Keith. You saved my life. You did that so that I wouldn’t be bonded to Lotor- so that I wouldn’t die, or go back to him.” Lance’s face was a lot closer to his now.

“You should have had the option.” Keith mumbled, looking down at the ground, staring at both of their feet.

“There wasn’t any time for that. I was literally dying- I couldn’t even understand anything that you guys were saying. I didn’t understand what was happening to me- that wasn’t your guy’s fault.”

“Yeah, but-”

Lance grabbed Keith’s face. “Not your fault.” His expression crumpled. “I-I’m sorry…. I. I thought you didn’t want to be with me. I thought you hated me, and that was why you went to Coran. I.. I guess I was hurt, and I wanted to leave before I thought you could hurt me even more… But I realize now that you…”

“I was just as insecure as you were.” Keith finished. “I thought that I would be alone again. I thought that the team would hate me, that you would hate me once everything was over, once we went back to earth. I didn’t…. I couldn’t handle the thought of being back at that shed, like I was, alone, apart from everyone else. I just… I really love you Lance. I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

The words left Keith’s mouth as he looked up to stare at Lance, the other’s eyes wide, wet with tears.

“Oh my god Keith, we’re so stupid.” 

“Hey! I just told you I loved you and then you say that I’m-” 

Keith’s words were cut off as Lance leaned forward, pressing his mouth against his. It was soft, wet from both of their tears, but it soon grew more passionate; Keith found himself melting into Lance, wrapping his arms around his neck, soft hands coming around his torso.

When they finally broke away, to breath, Lance laughed, pulling Keith in closer.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (; (; (; (; 
> 
> i'm so happy with the ending I was crying ahhhhh
> 
> i love you guys so much omg. So much. 
> 
> SO I feel in my heart like an ending is coming up very very soon. I'm going to do one more chapter before an epilouge- I plan for the epilogue to be maybe 1-2 good-sized chapters. I really want to get what Lance's family feels like when he comes home, and when they find out about all the stuff that has happened to him. I want there to be some sort of interaction between them, and Keith too. I have a plan for this; I'm really happy. 
> 
> Hahaha, I can't believe some of you have been sticking with this for soooo long like. I'm re-reading my chapters and they're just like. Ew. I need to go over and edit them because there's so much sentence fragments and like some stuff wasn't written well and welp I'm sorry lol. I love that you guys have been so supportive, though! 
> 
> Tell me what you think about my chapter and epilogue plan, if you can! I'd love to hear your guy's input!


	21. An End to The Beginning

“Lance! Off to your left!” Shiro’s voice came in over the intercom, alerting Lance of the few fighter ships gaining on him.

“Got it, Shiro.”

He took them out with ease, him and Blue working perfectly in sinc.; for once there wasn’t anything tugging at Lance’s mind, or worrying his stomach to make him distracted during a battle. He felt great. Amazing even, fighting again, getting the thrill of what it means to be a Paladin.

It was a year after he and Keith had their misunderstanding. A year since he had come back from his second capture from Lotor. They knew Lotor was alive- some feeds had come in talking about his exile from the throne- but they hadn’t heard from him.

Because of this, Keith had been constantly on edge- over protective of Lance,  vigil while piloting his Lion- hell, he had even scanned the feeds with Pidge every night to make sure there wasn’t any sign of him showing up! After about 6 months of this, of Keith begging Lance not to go on missions with them, watching him like a hawk when they did, they had had their second fight. Lance’s patience had been worn thin. Tears had been shed, words had been said, but by the end of if, they had come to a conclusion: Lotor was gone. He wouldn’t come back, and if he did? They’d be prepared. It had ended with a kiss and a promise, and a very tearful Lance clinging onto Keith as they fell asleep in their bed.

Lance’s eyes trained on another group advancing onto Hunk from behind. 

“Hey Hunk, buddy, you got some visitors from behind you, but I’ll get them for ‘ya!” 

“Oh quiznack, thanks Lance! Didn’t even see them coming!” Hunk sounded grateful from behind the mic.  

“No problem, man.”

Lance zoomed in, blasting his lasers at the enemies, taking one out, causing it to crash into the other as they approached Hunk; he took the last one down with easy precision, blowing it up before it could reach his friend.

Hunk and him had made up. It wasn’t as if they had been fighting or anything, but there had always been this sense of…. Underlying hurt coming from both of them. Hunk clearly still remembered the time before Lance got captured, and how he had sided with Pidge, insulting Lance when all he wanted to do was warn them of a trap. He felt like he was the reason Lance had gotten captured, and it had stayed lodged in Hunk, riddling him with guilt for a very long time. Not to mention the Goo incident- how could he not have realized Lance was allergic?

Lance had caught onto this about 2 months ago. It was a sore subject for him too- he still remembered how he had felt, so unwanted, unloved during those times, and a part of him was still a little wary around the rest of the team. But Hunk was his best friend; they had been together through thick and thin, and this wouldn’t stop them, now. It had been a long night- Lance confronting Hunk, them talking it out for hours, and hours. But in the end, things had been mended. Lance knew how sorry Hunk was; he knew how much Hunk cared for him, and so… he had let go of those feelings. The gap between them had been closed, and he was very thankful for it. 

Lance continued to take out fighter ships, dodging lasers show at him, shooting his own while Blue rumbled quiet encouragement at him every time he succeeded in taking a ship down. They were winning this fight, his team and him; everybody was working together as a team.

Pidge flew up next to him, working together to start taking down the huge battleship that had started this mess- she used her vines, while Lance used his ice. They wreaked havoc.

Pidge and Lance had a different story than him and Hunk- they hadn’t had a confrontation, or a night’s long talk about the events that had gone down… but Lance knew. He knew from how hard she had worked to get Lance back both times he had disappeared, how he had seen the bags under her eyes when she worked to create and install a tracker into everyone’s suit that allowed them to be tracked anywhere in the universe, or how she stayed up all night for 6 months with Keith watching the frequencies in the radio to make sure nothing about Lotor was popping up. Lance knew she cared- he knew she felt guilty, and was trying to make it up to Lance, and herself. He could see it in her eyes when he brought her food, or a blanket, or a pillow during those late, still nights.

Lance appreciated her work.

“Alright team- let’s form Voltron and finish this battle once and for all!” Shiro encouraged over the comms, catching Lance’s attention. He agreed and started to head into formation, with Pidge on his tail.

Shiro’s and Lance’s relationship had been different. For starters… they hadn’t been the closest before any of it had really happened. He was Lance’s leader, yeah, and he trusted him, but… They didn’t really have a bond, like Lance had with the others. They were distant.

But after everything had happened, things had changed. When he first came back, Shiro was one of the only people he talked to- and most of the time Lance was just a crying, sobbing mess, while Shiro held him. But during some of those late nights, when Lance was still feeling so insecure about things, his body aching to go back to Lotor, they talked, actually  _ talked.  _ The past Lance wouldn’t have believed it- him talking with his idol, relating to him. They talked about the Gladiator Ring, and about Lance’s feelings, they talked about many things, really. And there was that one night, the first one, on the bridge, where Lance had kissed Shiro. It had been something Lance didn’t mean to do; his brain had been messed up then, but he was grateful… Grateful that Shiro reciprocated, didn’t reject, or blow up at him. He accepted Lance’s explanation calmly, reassured him… he hadn’t been mad. But Lance remembered the sad look in his eyes, and how it lingered for months after.

It didn’t really go away until that one night when Lance was waiting for Keith to get out of the pod. When they had talked about him, and Shiro mentioned how Keith had liked Lance, even from the garrison; it had been a surreal conversation, and when Shiro had left… that look was gone. It had been replaced with something else, something warmer.

Lance hoped Shiro was happy.

It only took a good ten minutes in Voltron to take down the battleship- the team was more in sinc. now than it had been in months, and it was showing well in their performance, and how they worked together.

“Good work, everybody!” Allura praised, as the team headed back to the castle, in their individual lions. “You all did some great work!”

Allura had changed. She was more forgiving in the mistakes that the Paladins made, more understanding of their limitations and breaking points than she had been before the events. She praised the team more, and worked diligently to find exercises and training routines that would challenge them, but not push them past their limit.

Because of this, the team was working more gracefully, more calmly- without the constant pressure and stress put on them during training and battles, they were more free to find ways to work better with one another. Everybody was benefiting- especially Lance. He still excelled at working with his bayard.

Lance exited from his Lion, giving her a pat on her cheek, before he went down the ramp, taking his helmet off. Immediately, he made eye contact with Keith, who was just as sweaty as he was, hair tousled from battle. Lance smiled.

“Anybody hurt? Needing attention? No injury is too small- I promise you that!” It was Coran. Lance turned his head to face him, the ginger man standing in the hangar, addressing everybody.  

“Actually, Coran, I kinda bumped my head- it still hurts. I don’t know if you want to take a look at it, or?” Pidge stepped up, rubbing her forehead; there was a large bump forming from it.

“Like I said, no injury is too small! Come! I’ll have a look at it, right away.” Coran flashed her a smile, whisking her away in his arms.

Even Coran had changed- though, not by much. He had still been attentive back before the events of everything- still dedicated to his Paladins, but he seemed to be working tirelessly at it now- making sure to check over every Paladin for injuries, setting a limit on how much people could train, (Keith was pissed at this one) and monitoring how much stress was being put on everybody’s body. 

Sure, it was kind of annoying when the older man insisted to check everyone all the time, but Lance knew that it was for the best; after all, how many times had he hid his own injuries, just to not bother anybody? How many times could they have been treated easily, just if Coran had known? The man was doing good. 

Lance thought about how everybody had changed -some more drastic than others- after the events of everything. He knew that it was all for the good- nothing was bad about this change, it was just… change. Hell, even  _ he  _ had changed! Well. Of course he did. Lance decided to push those bad thoughts away. However, he wondered what everyone else thought about it- had they even noticed the changes? Keith probably did, after all, his and Lance’s relationship had done a complete 180 from what it had been before. To think about when they had first started being a part of Voltron, and how their relationship had been there, it was almost crazy to see how much it had changed. Instead of being rivals, they loved each other, were each other’s support system.  

Lance met Keith’s eye again, and they began  to walk towards one another, embracing when they met. Lance gave him a quick kiss, (Keith was hesitant about public displays of affection) before grabbing his hand and steering him towards their bedroom.

“Supper’s in an hour, you two!” Hunk called after them, his voice a little exasperated.

“Yup! We’ll be there!” Lance replied, smirking a little at Keith’s roll of his eyes. The raven-haired boy’s face was red.

“C’mon. Let’s go.”

* * *

 

 

Supper had gone and past. It was good; Hunk always found a creative ways to make the goo taste less bland. While Lance had taken his time with it, enjoying the meal and the time with his friends, he noticed from the corner of his eye that Keith was more than ready to go back to their room; they had been in the middle of cuddling and kissing before Lance had gotten them up for supper, and he could see that Keith wanted to go back. 

Now, they were back in their room, the door closed and the lights dim. They laid on the bed, arms around each other, slowly kissing. There was something about the soft touches Keith gave him that Lance always liked; with the bond between them, their physical contact was always magnified, to the point where they needed a certain amount of it to fuel them in a way. It was strange, but both boys seemed to like it. 

During some point, their kisses got deeper, more passionate, hands travelling more.Heated.  When a hand brushed the inside of Lance’s thigh, he froze. Keith looked up, his cheeks tinged pink, lips red. His eyes were worried. Little flashes of anxiety rose their way up through the bond.

“Lance? I’m sorry, I should have asked. Do you want to…” His voice trailed away, leaving the room silent.

It was that silence, just the sounds of the two of them breathing, the look in Keith’s eyes that calmed Lance. The fact that Keith was backing away at the first sign of him wanting to say no, leaving the decision up to Lance was what made him nod yes.

“You have to tell me, Lance. I have to hear it.”

“I want to do it, Keith. Please.”

Keith nodded, leaning back down to kiss Lance.

Sex had been a touchy subject for Lance. To an extent, it still was. Lance didn’t know how to handle himself in that department- Lotor had left his images of sex and physical connection skewed.

Not only that, but for a long time he was scared to show his body; it was covered in scars, bigger than the little ones that danced their way across his face and hands- those he could deal with, but… The ones across his back, his thighs, his legs, _ his hip,  _ he was ashamed. Scared.

It took months for him to actually take his shirt off in front of Keith, let him see what had happened to his back, chest and stomach. Keith had kissed his scars. Told him he was beautiful; it left Lance feeling better than he had been.

Despite Lance’s hesitation towards sex, both boys had found themselves getting more and more heating during their time together- the tension was definitely building up. Both of them knew it. Keith was patient, so, so patient, but Lance knew they had to further their connection. He wanted them to further their connection. So they talked about it- had a heartfelt conversation, worked things out.

When they first had sex with each other, Lance had cried.  He never told Keith this, but his first time had been with Lotor. It had left him so backwards, so confused in the way sex should be, that when Keith had treated him with such gentle care, soft, always asking Lance if he was okay with what was going on, the emotions within him had just been let loose.

Sex with Keith wasn’t demanding, expected from him. It was something that they both had to choose to do; a decision that Lance was in control of, if he didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t do it, and vise versa.

* * *

They laid next to each other, faces flushed, desires sated.

“Hah, haha, I can still feel the bond- everything’s really tingly right now.” Lance laughed, his hand reaching out to curl around Keith’s.

“You say that every time, Lance. The bond’s always there.” Keith reminded him, his voice more humored than annoyed.

“Yeah, I know. I say it every time, because every time I’m happy.” He replied, rolling over to face Keith. The boy looked over to him, smiling.

“You mean that, you’re happy every time?” 

“Well, yeah, of course I am! Aren’t you?” Lance shuffled over, burying his head into Keith’s chest.

“Of course.” Keith replied. His hand moved up to gently pet Lance’s hair, running his fingers through it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They stayed silent for a long time, wrapped together like that, breathing slow. There was that light tingle, made by the bond that calmed Lance. It was weird to think now, that he liked the bond. Yet, he didn’t know what he’d do without it.

Lance remembered when he absolutely hated it. When it had first been transferred to Keith- everything seemed so scary, he hadn’t known what was going on. He felt like the choice had been taken away from him purposely, and he blamed the team for that, but with time he grew to understand and accept that it was actually Lotor’s fault He was the one that had put it on him- unfairly, mind you, so that he could have more control over Lance. He shuddered at that thought- more control? What would have become of him? He would have been almost mindless.  

Lance also remembered the pain of it- staying away from Lotor for too long, throwing up, passing out. He remembered how miserable he felt because of it, how it hindered his way of thinking. The pain of the transfer. Even know, it made Lance wince, even if he was grateful for it. He had wanted to die then; the pain… it was too much. It hurt him to know that Keith had gone through the same thing, but at least they were together. Their problems had been solved.

Sometimes he wondered that if a cure were to arise for the bond, if he and Keith would break it. For some reason, he hoped they wouldn’t. It had been something they had talked about, but never really came to a decision too. Lance secretly hoped a cure wouldn’t ever arise, but he knew that he and Keith would get through any problems that faced their way if it did. They were in love; real love, not just because of the bond. It was just an added bonus that made Lance feel closer to Keith than he had been before.

The beginnings of sleep were beginning to make make Lance’s breaths slow, mind grow fuzzy as he cuddled against Keith. He was just about to slip away, when Keith spoke, slow and quiet, gentle against Lance’s ear.

“What are we going to do when we go back to earth?”

Lance knew that Keith was insecure about this; it had been their whole reason for fighting that year ago when he had returned from Lotor. He knew Keith was scared of Lance leaving him, even if Lance reassured him time and time again that that would never happen.

“I’d like to go back to see my family, in Cuba.” Lance replied.

“Right, Cuba…” He could feel Keith tense up.

“And you’re going to come with me. I gotta introduce you to the family, or else I’d never hear the end of it from my Mama.”

Keith relaxed, much to Lance’s relief. “Yeah, I’ll go with you, I promise.”

Lance smiled.

“Where do you wanna go after? We’ll have to find somewhere to live, right? Any place you’re interested in?” 

“We’re going to live together, right?” Keith asked, his voice gentle.    
  
“Of course! I don’t think I can sleep without you,” Lance teased,  before growing softer. “Plus, I love you, like a lot. Of course I want to live with you.” 

“I want to live somewhere where there’s people.” Was Keith’s first answer- Lance kind of suspected that one; the boy had been living alone in a shack for a long time before that. “And… somewhere close to the team, if that’s possible. If not, I understand, but if they’re like… y’know, settling, we should be near, right? We’re a team. We don’t ever stop being Paladins.”

“That’s right,” Lance murmured.

“And near the ocean! I know you love the ocean. We might have to convince the rest of the team, though…” 

Lance laughed, “what if we can convince them to move Cienfuegos? That’s where I grew up- it’s a nice city, my family’s house is right on the ocean, in a quieter part of town.”  Keith nodded, “That sounds nice. I’d like that, I think. Though, I’d have to learn Spanish.”    
  
“I can teach you. After everything we’ve done in space, it shouldn’t be that hard, right?”    
  
“Yeah, right.” Keith scoffed. “Should be a breeze.” He was quiet for a moment. “So… do you think your family is going to… accept us? The bond? It’s kind of strange from an outsider’s perspective.” 

Lance bit his lip. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how that would work. He took some time thinking about it, before determination flooded through his chest. It would work.

“Keith. We’ve been through hell and back. We’re still not finished, but by the time we’re done, and we’ve defeated Zarkon, I’m not going to let anything,  _ anything  _ stand in our way. We’re the heroes of the universe! We deserve it. My family will love you; I’ll make sure of it.”

He felt Keith sigh, sated with Lance’s answer. They’d have a good life when they got back to earth. They’d settle down, go back to school, continue to be the Paladins of the universe. Things would be good, no great.

 

They stayed silent for a long time, breaths soft against each other's skin. Things were going to be okay. They would be just fine. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

They’d be happy wherever they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! THAT'S THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!! 
> 
> I really hope you guys like it. I wanted to recap thins, to go over feelings and stuff; how people have changed. I hope I showed that okay, what do you guys think? 
> 
> ahh I'm crying. I never really thought I'd actually end a fic. Like it's never happened before and i'm really happy that i've actually had the motivation and will to actually do it and I think it's all because of you guys and the amazing support you've given me over these past few months. It's crazy. 
> 
> I'm going to have an epilogue up, too! It's going to be one or two chapters, (I haven't decided yet) but I'll be writing it next week!! If you guys want, let me know if there's some stuff you want me to add in there, and I will (: 
> 
> Anyways, I love you guys so much. You're all so loving and it's truly amazing so I have to thank you all once again for being such amazing people. 
> 
> Thank you.


	22. Epilogue

 

“Lance.”

“Keith.”

“Lannnnccceee.”

“Keithhhh.”

Lance shifted in the driver’s seat, turning to look over at his boyfriend. “Seriously, what’s up?”

Keith’s cheeks were red, as he stared hard at the dashboard. His hair had been tied up into a ponytail, now long enough that it brushed past his shoulders. He had once was going to cut it, annoyed by how his hair stuck to his face when he was training, but Lance had whined enough to convince him not to.

“Keith?” Lance pouted at him, looking at Keith, then back at the road, then back at Keith. Finally, he decided to just pull over, rolling the small rental car they had gotten slightly into the ditch. “Are you okay?”

Finally, he answered. “I’m really nervous.”

They were going to Lance’s parent’s house; this was the first time that Lance was going to see them face-to-face in 4 years, and the first time Keith was going to meet them.

“It’s going to be fine! I promise Keith;  when I talked to them once we got close enough to Earth again, they were thrilled that I was just alive.” Lance recalled the event- the tears, the excitement, the raging emotions. “I mentioned that I had met somebody, and my Mama was overjoyed. They’re going to love you.”

Lance made eye contact with Keith and held out his hand, offering him a smile. Keith gingerly took it, breathing in deeply.  “Okay. Sorry I just, I’ve never been in this situation before. Y’know… family and all.”

“I know Keith. But I promise things will be just fine, don’t worry.”

Gently squeezing his hand, Lance took it away, placing both hands back onto the wheel, and starting up the car again. He sent one last look over to his boyfriend.

“Ready?” 

“Ready.”

 

* * *

 

At first everything came in a haze; Keith didn’t know what was going on. It was a flash of Spanish, a whirl of people. Sights, scents, sounds that he didn’t recognize. There was a beautiful house in front of him, the front yard surrounded by a low wall, kids toys haphazardly sitting in the grass.

There was a warmth to Lance’s house that Keith had never felt before.

They stood in the yard, people surrounding them, a flurry of limbs reaching out to touch Lance, to hug him, pat his shoulder. Whenever Keith looked at him, a little overwhelmed, but determined to keep his mind clear, Lance looked like he was glowing.

Keith knew how much Lance’s family meant to him. He had heard Lance’s stories, felt his hot tears for them against his skin. Keith knew that Lance’s love for his family was endless, and that it would never waver.

He wondered what it was like to have a family. Wondered how things would have been if he had grown up like Lance did, surrounded by love and support. He bit his lip, lost in thought, before a soft touch drew him away.

A woman stood in front of him, wispy, curly brown hair and turquoise eyes that resembled Lance’s in so many ways.

His mother.

“Hello. You’re Lance’s friend? You fought beside him?” She had a thick accent, but seemed to be trying her best, her smile as warm as the hand that gently rested against his shoulder.

Keith nodded. “Y-Yes, mam, we’re, uh, teammates. I’m his friend.” He didn’t know how Lance wanted to let his family know about their relationship, so he just went with the closest thing. Friends.

Lance’s mother continued to look at him, her eyes growing watery. She took his hands, clasping them between her own. “Thank you for being my son’s friend. Thank you for watching over him.”

Keith looked at her, a lump rising in his throat. She didn’t know what had happened to Lance. What they had gone through just to be here, back on earth. He nodded slowly, feeling somber.

* * *

 

All of Lance’s cousins and siblings had gone to bed- there had been a fuss made, (who didn’t want to spend more time with lance?) but eventually things had settled down. Truthfully, Keith felt exhausted, yet… things weren’t bad. He didn’t feel as tense, yet now, as he sat next to Lance at the table, all his relatives surrounding them, he couldn’t seem to slow his heartbeat.

“I… I have to tell you all something. Something really important regarding Keith and I.” He looked over to his Mama. The room had gone eerily quiet.

“Keith, and I… we’re not just friends. I… we’re in a relationship.  Lo amo, Mama, he means the world to me.”

There were whispers, hushed, and in Spanish. Keith couldn’t understand, only picking up bits and pieces of words that Lance had tried to teach him. He could feel the tension in the room, quivering, until somebody broke it.

“Well. If he means that much to you, then there’s only one thing we can do.” Lance’s mother looked over at Keith, a small smile adorning her sun-worn face. “Welcome to the family, Keith. Please continue to look after mijo; we are thankful to you for keeping him safe while out in space.”

If there was one thing that Keith had caught onto, it was that Lance’s mother was the head of the family. As soon as she had accepted him, the family seemed to break, warm smiles erupting across their faces.

Lance started crying, his hand reaching out to grip Keith’s, holding onto it with such a ferocity that it almost hurt. They were happy tears, warm and wet, as the rest of his family got up to surround him and Keith, hugging, and congratulating.

All the tension that had been sparking through the air was gone, only love and warmth left.

Keith felt good.

* * *

 

Keith and Lance hadn’t moved to Cuba.  It would have been impractical - Keith didn’t know Spanish, (for some reason, it was really hard for him) and they had to be close to the Garrison. Keith refused to move to Texas, so they decided to settle in California. It was warm, they had a nice apartment near the ocean; things were good. Even the rest of the team was near them! California seemed like a good idea for everyone, so things were currently going great.

Allura and Coran had set up a communication device with the team- they could be reached anywhere in the Galaxy, and the Paladins were at reach at all times.

Just because Zarkon was defeated, didn’t mean that there weren’t duties each Paladin had to perform. They worked hard to keep up the alliances they had made with each planet, to keep peace within the universe.

Personally, Lance was glad. He was glad he still got to fly Blue, got to continue to be a Paladin, a pilot. It had made such a big divot in his life, impacted him in many ways- good and bad.

Yet, he was glad for a normal life. Glad he could talk to his family again, see them whenever he wanted; (after all, it was just a plane ride away? His perception of distance had changed vastly) he had taken up a simple job at a coffee shop, only five minutes away from Keith’s and his apartment. 

The government had decided to keep the Paladin’s and their efforts under wrap- partly to keep everybody calm, and partly for the privacy of the Paladins themselves. They had asked for it, to keep their names and identity hidden. Of course, some of the higher ups from the garrison, knew about them,  (they were the earth experts on alien life, after all) but they had all sworn to keep it under wraps. Although, it was quite satisfying seeing Iverson’s shocked face when he realized that the missing Cadets, the ones he had yelled at, despised, had been the ones to face the universe.  

Life was calm. Good.

Lance was focusing on recovering, Keith at his side. He still got nightmares sometimes, and he still hadn’t told his parents the full story of what had happened to him, but… he had a support system. He had Keith, the bond, his teammates, his family.  

Lance thought about all this as he sat on the couch, Keith’s head in his lap, sleeping as he ran his fingers through his hair. There were piles of books leaning against the couch- Astrodynamics for Keith, medical and anatomy for Lance. They had both gone back to university- something to keep their minds busy while waiting in between missions.

It wasn’t like paying the fees were hard- the government did that for them, and the need to keep busy was prevalent to all the Paladins. Pidge was working with the Garrison, Hunk had started his own bakery, Shiro was working with Pidge, but seemed to be spending more and more time back on the castle, with Allura. He seemed to like space a little more than he liked earth- either that, or he was in love with Allura. Maybe both.

Keith moved from underneath him, squirming a little. Lance lifted his hand, looking down at him.

“Awake, now?”

“Mhmmm.” Keith buried his head into Lance’s lap, dark locks brushing past Lance’s hand.

“Are you really awake? Do you want to start getting ready for Hunk’s opening party? We have to be there in an hour- everybody is going to be there.”

Keith was silent, breathing slowly for a couple moments before slowly lifting himself up, his hair messy, eyes droopy.  “Yeah…. I gotta take a shower.”

Lance laughed, a wry smile dancing across his lips. “Do you want me to join you?”

“Yeah.”

Lance laughed again, getting up with his boyfriend. His thighs had gone numb. Quickly rubbing the feeling back into them, he began to follow Keith to the bathroom, before a quiet beeping stopped both of them. It was the communication device. Keith reached out to grab it off of their shelf.

“It’s Allura.”

“Answer it!”

“‘Kay.. I got it,” Keith sighed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, clearing his throat, before answering it. “Hey Allura, what’s up? What do you need us for?”

Lance watched as Keith talked to Allura, lazily leaning against the walls of their apartment, listening in on the one-sided conversation. After a minute or two, he hung up.

“So, what’s up? Is there anything wrong?” Lance couldn’t help but feel a twinge of worry in his gut.

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong, but we have a new mission.” 

Lance’s eyebrows raised, his lips pursed.

A smile spread across Keith’s face, as he put the communicator down.

“We’re doing another coalition for Voltron. To keep the moral strong within the galaxies.”

Lance’s eyes widened, as a grin broke out. He stepped forward to grasp Keith’s waist, pulling him in closer, pressing his lips against Keith’s. The other quickly melted into the kiss.

When they finally broke apart, Lance laughed.

“Razzle Dazzle, baby!”

“Oh my god Lance, not this again!” Keith groaned, playfully pressing his palms against Lance’s chest.

“Oh yes, this is going to be great. The balls, the parties, the performances. You’re going to love it.”

“You sure about that?”

Lance leaned in to kiss Keith again.

“I’m certain.”

“Alright, alright, I believe you. Shower time. C’mon.” Keith huffed, breaking away.

Lance waggled his eyebrows, before erupting into a flurry of shrieks and laughs as Keith picked him up, throwing the taller boy over his shoulder.

They echoed down the hallway.

Things had changed.

They were safe. Lance had his family back.

He and Keith were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONE ITS DONE MY BABY IS COMPLETE ! 
> 
> Whoo boy this had been such a journey and I couldn't have done it without you guys! I'm honestly so grateful! Your comments motivate me- I'm glad so many of you have stuck around for so long. 
> 
> I hope guys liked this one last chapter! There's a little Spanish in- if I I made any mistakes with the language, please let me know! 
> 
> I'm so glad so many of you guys liked my story. I really liked writing it, and writing in general- this has helped me to get a grasp on how to actually write with a consistent schedule, (most of the time lol) hahaha. 
> 
> If you guys really liked my work, and are going to be looking for more, don't fear! I will be writing another fic! I'm starting it this weekend, and should have my first chapter posted next weekend, or the weekend after. 
> 
> I love you guys, thank you for reading!!!


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